


Poe/Hux Afterstory Tales

by Gamebird



Series: Grey Order [7]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Complete, M/M, Reverse Palpatine/Power, Smut and Fluff, also I couldn't stop with their story, continuation from Pacification, hux has a hell of a lot to heal from, making my readers happy, so does poe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-04-04 09:14:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 53,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14017050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gamebird/pseuds/Gamebird
Summary: This picks up after Pacification, where Hux and Poe sparked an unlikely relationship, earned one another's trust, and became engaged. In this, they get to know one another better as Hux continues to soften and learn how to be more of a human being. This is not a stand-alone and I would suggest reading Grey and Complicated, Orderly Lives, and Pacification first.





	1. Night Terrors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Setting and timeline is not always clear from the chapters, though I tried. The last two chapters of Pacification took place on one of the core worlds where the First Order was negotiating with the New Republic's interim/stand-in government. The New Republic's main government was on Hosnian Prime, which the First Order utterly destroyed in The Force Awakens. So what they have now is a collection of heads of state from the most powerful planets and some nominated representatives of other worlds, systems, and regions of space. The First Order speaks for just about anyone who can't send a representative.
> 
> The backstory doesn't matter too much. Just know that Hux is doing important stuff and Poe has reason to check in with the same people on behalf of the Resistance (which is kind of a sham since they're not 'resisting' anyone at the moment, but it's been all of a month or so since TLJ). In those last two chapters of Pacification, they were planetside at a conference center/resort (hence the hot tub and the suite). In this one, they are on the Finalizer about a week after that during a break in negotiations.

Poe woke to the sound of crying. Hux was no longer curled around him and the sound was coming from him. Poe rolled over to face him, brows drawing together in concern. There was enough illumination filtering in from where they'd left the bathroom light on that he could see Hux's face. There were no tears, but the shaky way he was breathing, interspersed with pained-sounding whimpers, could be nothing else.

"Hey, Hugs." Poe touched the man's shoulder.

Hux woke with a gasp and a frightened noise. He yanked his hands together in front of him. A moment later, Poe heard a small sound that made his stomach drop. Hux had pulled that knife.

"No! Whoa, whoa, baby!" Poe pressed a little on Hux's shoulder, but there was nothing he could do. Even with his lightning reflexes, his hand would not be fast enough to stop Hux from gutting him. The point of the knife had to be no more than a hand's width from his unprotected belly. Poe knew that grabbing blindly between them was a sure way to get stabbed – in the hand at the least, but more importantly it might be the cause of Hux feeling he had to act to defend himself.

"Snoke?" Hux bared white teeth at him, his upper lip quivering. His eyes darted around the room, but more importantly, his arm did not move. Neither did Poe.

"He's dead." Poe saw the snarl fade from Hux's face. "Hugs. Baby?" Poe said hopefully when nothing else happened.

"Don't call me that!"

Poe's head bobbed up and down, belatedly remembering 'Baby' was not on the list of approved nicknames.

Hux heaved out a breath, blinked a few times, then angrily shoved up the sleeve on his pajamas to expose his forearm. Both his hands were empty, Poe saw with relief. Quickly and efficiently, Hux stripped off the scabbard, retrieved the knife from the mattress, and slid it home. Then he threw the entire thing across the room. "I will not wear that again while we're together. Sleeping together. That was … no."

Hux apprehensively petted Poe's shoulder and side. Poe slid forward and embraced him. "It's okay. It's okay," he soothed. "It was just a dream."

"I almost stabbed you," Hux said, folding his arms around Poe. "That part wasn't a dream."

"No," Poe admitted. "But you're immediately doing something to fix it, so that makes everything okay. I know how much that knife means to you."

Hux's response was immediate and firm. "You mean more."

Poe nodded shallowly and gave Hux a squeeze.


	2. Serious Business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Poe and Hux are back on their respective ships. Poe is pursuing continuing issues with busting up the slave harvesting network. The whole team is with him, but most of them didn't get any screen time here.

Poe left a message with a Lieutenant Mitaka to pass along to the grand marshal that Poe needed to speak with him. It wasn't urgent, but it was personal, and for the lieutenant to make sure Hux knew that part. Then Poe went on with his day.

He was in a conference room with Rose and Rey when the reply came through, though he didn't know who it was. He walked down to the end of the table with his personal comm. "Hello?"

"This is Hux."

"Oh. Hang on." Poe looked back at the others, who glanced his way, then went back to talking in low voices about the slavers they would be dealing with the next day. "By the way," he said as he moved to an adjoining room, "this is an insecure line."

"I will keep that in mind."

The door shut behind Poe. "Hey, this might be nothing at all, but I got a notification from the Republic archives that someone had requested a copy of my records from Yavin. And the thing is, whoever it is was actually given my records. They're supposed to wait until I give permission. I only know a few groups with that much pull. Do you know anything about this?"

"Yes. That was me."

Poe's mouth opened and then shut. He lifted his free hand in an empty gesture of exasperation. "Hugs, uh, I guess that's okay, but … come on. Boundaries. Ask me first." There was silence on the other end of the line. Poe sighed. "Okay. It's okay. But if you're going to do something like that in future, let me know first."

"I have Intelligence putting together a full profile on you. The background check is just part of it."

"You … you what?"

"Poe," Hux's voice changed a little, becoming quieter and more tense, "I'm very serious about being with you. This is … part of me being serious. I need to know what I'm dealing with. Do you understand?"

He opened his mouth and shut it again, looking at the ceiling and thinking Rey and Rose weren't having to deal with these sorts of things from their partners. He didn't know what to say, because he could see that from Hux's side this was perfectly reasonable. At least he wasn't asking anyone to read his mind. Then again, Poe reflected, that had been the absolute first thing Hux had done before they'd even eaten lunch together, much less gone off somewhere private. He sighed.

"Poe?" Hux was quieter still. Poe strongly suspected he was scaring the guy.

"Yes, I understand," Poe said in a normal tone. "It's just not the way any of my previous relationships have gone. I don't know what I was expecting. Okay? We'll talk about it in person."

"Are you asking me to discontinue the profile?" Hux asked carefully.

Poe swallowed. He didn't like that tone of voice, like Hux had been handed a live grenade. "No. No, I'm not. Go ahead. If you knowing all about me is what it takes to trust me, then you do that."

"It is not. But it helps." He was still using a cautious tone.

"Okay, if it helps. You know what I'm happy about with this?" Poe asked, trying to look on the bright side.

"What is that?"

"That you told me as soon as I brought it up. You're not trying to hide anything from me. I know I told you back on Naboo I had your files. And I figure that's part of this. You were upset about that, too."

"I was upset about the security breach. If I were upset about people knowing me inside and out, I'd have long since died of apoplexy."

"Well, just don't freak out about anything you see in there, okay? I didn't desert my post with the Alliance. I defected to the New Republic Defense Fleet. That's different."

"I am aware you are a filthy Rebel," Hux said in an amused tone.

Poe smiled, pleased to hear the wariness was gone. "Okay, I'll talk to you later. I've got something I need to get back to."

"Very good. Hux out."

Poe clicked it off and pressed the device to his forehead. "It's getting serious alright," he said to the empty room before he left it.


	3. Scouting Territory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, they're back planetside at the conference center/resort, in what amounts to a high end hotel room.

"Damn, you look fine in those," Poe said, sidling up behind Hux as the man dressed.

Hux had on a sleeveless undershirt, his knife, jodhpurs, and boots. His shirt was in his hand. He stopped moving as Poe came behind him and touched him on the hips. There was still a distance between their bodies.

"I don't even like the way these things look," Poe tugged on the flared sides of the pants, "but they look good on you. Like they were made for you."

Hux relaxed and chuckled. "They were."

"Huh?"

"All of my clothing is custom-fitted. All officer's clothing is. For adults, at least."

"Really?"

"Yes," Hux said. "The  _Supremacy_  had an entire textiles factory on it. Every  _Resurgent_ -class star destroyer has a wardrobe department and while they don't make the cloth, every officer's uniform is tailored to fit. There are eighty thousand people aboard every destroyer. Where did you think we obtained our uniforms? Some backwater world we might be cut off from at any moment?"

Poe shrugged. "I never thought about it."

"Where does the Resistance get its clothing?"

"Uh … never thought about that, either."

"You should. Logistics is a key skill for a general. Military operations have failed for lack of blankets."

Poe nodded. "Okay. I'll look into it. In my defense, I've only been a general for a month or so." Hux grunted. After a beat, Poe leaned forward and put his lips on the exposed portion of Hux's shoulders in a chaste kiss. "You'd look good in anything."

"They're supposed to be flattering," Hux said. "We spend our whole lives in them, after all."

"Until you retire."

"The First Order has no retirement plan. I've drafted one for inclusion in the new government."

"No … Then what happens? You work until you die?"

"That's the idea. Where would one go, anyway? No home world to go to, no money to live off of. Your family is already with you. The Order is your life."

"No money?"

Hux looked over his shoulder at Poe and smiled at his ignorance. "Are you paid for your work with the Resistance?"

"No, but we're a volunteer outfit. You mean you guys don't get paid? At all?"

"The Order provides everything we need. Most officers have a stipend for entertainment, but it's not large."

"You and Kylo joked about Finn's back pay."

"That's why it was a joke. He's a stormtrooper. They don't even get a stipend. They get nothing."

Poe blinked at him. "What about all those credits Kylo and the knights left with?"

"I bribed them to leave without a fuss." After a beat, Hux added, "If you're concerned that any partnership with me would be to your financial detriment, my father left me an inheritance. As far as I know, it has not been seized. I've never had reason to access it."

"No, no." Poe shook his head. "That's not a problem. I was just … I assumed people worked for the First Order because … I don't know."

"Because it was the best career option available? No," Hux said. "It was the  _only_  option available."

Hux put his hand over Poe's on his hip and pressed lightly.

Poe tilted his head to look down at that, wondering what Hux was asking for or trying to communicate, especially in light of the conversation.

"You like this?" Hux rubbed his hand.

"Yes." Poe kissed his back again, deciding that maybe Hux was just changing the subject. "I love it when you initiate touching me. Every time we're together, you do it a little sooner."

"Every time we're together, I know the territory a little better."

Poe kissed him again, then moved his hands towards the front of Hux's hips. Hux straightened and inhaled. Poe slid his hands right back where they'd started. Hux exhaled and relaxed partly. Poe brought his hands up to Hux's waist and then around his belly, over the undershirt. Hux relaxed further and settled both his hands over Poe's.

"As do you," Hux added, as aware as Poe was that they were still figuring each other out.

Poe kissed him again, then rubbed the tip of his nose back and forth over his shoulder. Hux's hand petted Poe's forearm. Poe moved his face to the back of Hux's neck, breathing out on it. Hux stiffened, swallowed, and leaned away slightly. Poe tucked his head so his chin, mouth, and nose were against the undershirt. Hux glanced back at him uneasily and relaxed slowly.

Poe pulled his face back a few inches. "When you do that," he said quietly, "does it mean you don't like it, or it's too much?"

"Both."

Poe grimaced and chewed his lip. It wasn't a useful answer, so he rephrased his question. "Would you like me to stop entirely or just lighten up?"

"Lighter."

Poe touched the tip of his nose to the back of Hux's neck, getting a chuckle. "Do you ever masturbate?" Poe asked.

Hux turned enough to look over his shoulder with an arched brow. "Occasionally."

Poe dipped his head and looked up at him with a charming smile. "Next time you do, can I help?"

"Why?"

"Because I love you, everything about you, and I want to feel you explode in my hand. Lose it. Get off. I want to see that."

Hux tried to say something, but stopped. Poe watched the man's profile. Finally, Hux said, "No. You can watch. Assuming my next time coincides with your presence."

Poe waited a beat, then said, "Okay." He leaned over and pressed his lips to the back of Hux's neck. This time, the response was a delighted sigh.

"It's taking me a very long time to get dressed this morning." Hux did not sound disappointed.

"Funny how that works," Poe murmured against his skin. He brought a hand up to play with the hair on the nape of Hux's neck, listening to the pleased sounds Hux made. He couldn't do more without mussing it and Hux had already slicked everything back to his satisfaction. Poe's other hand stayed around Hux's waist. "I think your problem is that you're so sensitive that-"

Hux went rigid and Poe's voice cut off. "I don't have a 'problem'!"

"No," Poe said immediately. "You don't. That was a bad choice of words on my part. I shouldn't have said that. I'm very sorry."

"Nor am I an over-sensitive child!" Hux hissed. He remained still, though, so Poe did the same aside from having turned his head so his breath didn't puff against Hux's skin.

"No, you're not," Poe agreed, deciding not to point out that he had made no such claim. Hux adding in 'child' gave Poe a broad hint about where the insecurity was coming from and it wasn't anything Poe needed to be defensive about.

Hux shrugged him off and moved a step away, putting on his shirt. Poe stayed where he was and remained quiet. Less angry than before, Hux said without looking at him, "It's never been mentioned on my neurological reports or in my physicals, so I must be in the normal range."

"They test for that?" He wasn't even sure what Hux was referring to.

"Yes," Hux said irritably as he fastened his shirt. "Every six months. They don't test for everything every six months." He made a vague gesture. "There's a schedule. It rotates."

"Oh. Okay." He still didn't know what Hux meant, but he didn't think it was important. Poe kept standing there, waiting as Hux wound down from his anger and being careful not to do anything to ramp the guy back up.

"Fine," Hux said finally, taking up his belt with empty holster and fastening it on. He was not allowed to have the blaster at the treaty conference, but for whatever reason he was keeping the holster. "Why is that a problem?"

"It's not a problem. Like you said." Hux pursed his lips. Poe went on, "You get overstimulated easily. And then you don't like it. It's too much."

"What are you speaking of?"

Poe shrugged. "Sex. Touching. Maybe other things. I don't know." Hux exhaled heavily and pulled on his gloves. "I'm trying to learn the territory," Poe added, thinking that using Hux's phrasing would help.

Apparently it did, because Hux pulled one glove right back off. He moved to Poe, cupped his cheek, then wrapped his other hand around Poe's waist. The hand on Poe's face moved to the back of his neck as Hux pulled them together for a hug. Quietly, Hux said, "I am not unaware of the irony involved in me being oversensitive about being called oversensitive. Thank you for indulging me. You're very patient with me and I appreciate that." He pulled away, slipping the glove back on. "I have business to get to. I'll see you tonight, if you're still planetside."

Poe gave him a small smile and nodded. "No problem, Hugs. The  _Restitution_  won't debark until tomorrow."


	4. Gossip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Finalizer has met up with the Restitution in the Outer Rim.

"Captain Tritt Opan? General Poe Dameron. Dameron? Opan." Introductions were made in Hux's quarters on the  _Finalizer_. He was continuing to use it as his flagship as the repairs to the  _Supremacy_  were ongoing. The second round of treaty negotiations were complete. Hux seemed to think it a good idea to check up on how Poe's dealings with the slavers were going. Which meant they got to see each other again after a several week break. Funny how that worked.

"Just call me Poe," Poe said, shaking the man's gloved hand. Back on Naboo, he'd thought the First Order folks were rude and uptight, avoiding any and all skin contact with the 'Rebel scum'. Now he knew better – they were just uptight.

"The Resistance general?" Opan said. "I've heard a lot about you." He sized Poe up.

"Really?"

Hux sighed. "We have been the subject of a great deal of gossip, and worse. I'm dealing with it. Would you like drinks?"

"Sure," Opan said. "You still have that Dorian Quill we confiscated from those Killik smugglers?"

"'We'?" Hux chuckled. "But yes, most of a case of it. I'm not going through it very quickly."

Opan said, "I've got an extra bottle of retsa I'd like to trade you for some of that."

Hux shrugged in response. "Bring it by sometime. I wouldn't mind the variety." To Poe, he said, "Alcohol?"

"Yeah, that's fine." He glanced over to see that Hux had filled a glass three fingers full. "Just half a glass." He collected the next glass and took a seat on the couch, deciding not to ask about the 'gossip, and worse'.

Opan picked up his glass and asked Hux, "How does this work? You and him?" He sat at the table and pushed out a chair for Hux with his foot.

"The same as it does with anyone, I would assume." Hux walked past the offered chair to sit on the other end of the couch, presumptuously swinging his feet up and putting them in Poe's lap. Poe blinked in surprise and gave Hux a long look. The behavior was intimate, possessive, and bold, as well as very unlike Hux as Poe knew him in private.

"So that's how it is, eh?" Opan looked between the two of them and took a deep drink.

"That's how it is," Hux said levelly, drinking the same.

Poe put a hand on Hux's shin. The man was posturing, Poe realized. He took a tiny sip of his drink and set it on the arm of the couch. Opan put his own feet up in the empty chair as though that had been what he'd moved it out for, and not for the drinking buddy who had ditched him to sit on the couch with his feet in his boyfriend's lap to make a big deal about how he was actually in a relationship. Poe purred at Hux, "You want me to take your boots off, Hugs?"

Opan's head jerked around at the name, his eyes darting between them. Hux looked smug. "Yes, please."

The captain took a second large drink. "About that gossip …"

The seal for the boot was on the inside of the leg. Poe opened it, unzipping it to Hux's ankle and then working the boot off.

Hux rolled his eyes. "Tritt, I hear enough of it from my attorneys. As for the loose talk, Birnham gives a summary of the latest that involves my name and that's enough. Most of it's drivel. People have to talk about something. They'll forget about me as soon as we release news about the conference and the treaty. We're getting close to agreement."

"Hm, true." The captain set his glass down. "There is some other important gossip I'd like to go over, though. Not about you. Let's talk about those Sith. I heard the shuttle came back."

"Oh, yes. I was surprised by that as well. I thought there was a good chance they'd kill the crew and steal it. I think the crew thought that, too."

"That was two of the knights, right?"

"Yes," Hux confirmed as Poe moved on to the other boot and Hux flexed his toes on the foot that was free. "Two went to Dagobah in the shuttle. Two went with Kylo Ren. One stole the corvette they'd used for their last mission. The last is dead. That accounts for all of them."

"And Snoke's dead, hm." Opan considered. "You said Luke Skywalker's dead, too?"

"So I've been informed."

"Does that leave any others, Sith or otherwise?"

"Oh, I'm sure they're all over the place." Hux flexed both sets of toes as Poe leaned over to drop the boots on the floor. Then he cupped one of Hux's squirming feet and began to massage it, leaving the sock on in case that much skin-to-skin contact was too racy for their audience. Hux tensed, then downed half his drink. Poe lightened his touch to casual rubbing. Hux tore his eyes from what Poe was doing to look back at Opan. "We have a few in the Order. I'm tracking them. As long as they remain untrained, I don't think they're much danger."

Poe noticed Hux was not volunteering anything about Rey. Also, Rey's existence (or more likely, her ability in the Force) was not common knowledge in the Order.

Opan nodded and chewed the inside of his cheek. "What are those two doing on Dagobah? Why there?"

"There's a temple there or something like it. Snoke sent them there last year as part of his efforts to locate Skywalker."

"Are there more Force users there? I thought they were all killed off by the emperor."

Hux sighed and finished the rest of his glass. "I don't know. Whatever reports the Knights of Ren filed went to Snoke. I never saw them. I just know where the ship went and a basic idea of why. I would suppose they didn't find anything pertinent to Skywalker because there wasn't any follow-up. But there has to be some reason why those two are going back. I don't believe the planet's inhabited, but obviously, anyone can go there."

"Can you access Snoke's files now that he's dead?"

Hux gave a relaxed chuckle and raised his glass in a toast to Opan. "That's a good thought. Ren had everything transferred to him, but I honestly hadn't thought to go looking since he left. There wasn't anything Ren did as supreme leader that I wasn't already in the middle of. Bring my datapad over here, will you? I'll make a note to get with Fuseb and see what we can unearth."

Opan brought over both the datapad and the bottle, refilling Hux's glass. He turned to Poe, who shook his head. There was something a bit lethal and mean about Tritt Opan that had Poe feeling it was best to keep his guard up for now. Besides, the stuff was so strong that even the half-glass he had was all he'd need to get loosened up, should he actually drink it. He shot Hux's second full glass a brief, concerned look. That was a lot to have sucked down in a very short time.

Hux tapped out something on the pad and then set it on the back of the couch.

"Then there's the two with Kylo Ren," Opan said, feet on the floor and turned towards Hux. Poe noted the man had not refilled his drink, although he'd parked the bottle next to it and he only had a finger's width of liquor in his glass.

Hux waved his free hand around breezily. "No, no. Let's not worry about them. Ren has that in hand. It's the one who left who I'm more concerned about."

"Which one is that?"

"Tonza Ren. She stole the corvette. That annoys me."

Opan shrugged a shoulder. "Where did she go?"

"Tatooine, from what the trace shows."

"Tatooine? What's on Tatooine?"

"Let's find out." Hux picked up his datapad again and tapped on it. The star field screen on the wall behind Hux's head lit up with a profile of the planetary system. Hux had to be seeing the same on his datapad, because he didn't turn his head to look at it. Opan and Poe did, reading off the information.

"Huh," Opan said. "Looks like secondary mining and not much else."

"Slave harvesting," Poe said quietly, his eyes having picked out something much more important to him than mineral rights.

"Yes," Hux said, pulling up a historical log of First Order and Imperial contacts, the most recent of which were regularly-spaced slave pickups. "A planet like that is ripe for it. Not enough natural resources to sustain a growing population, yet people continue to have children. Look at this, though," he pointed at his datapad, leaving Poe and Opan to guess at what he meant.

"Looks like Snoke sent them there at least three different times," Opan said, apparently seeing what Hux intended.

"Yes. Several years ago. I wonder why?" Hux took a healthy swig from his drink and tried to pull up more information. "There's hardly anything here. I think the emperor had everything purged and Snoke certainly didn't add anything."

Opan toyed with his glass and looked at Poe. "You'd think we'd know everything important about the Sith and especially our own operations, but both Snoke and Palpatine erased big swaths of information about the Force and whatever they were personally up to."

Poe shrugged. "I don't know much about it either except what I've seen myself. It seems to be a big range. I've seen one guy whose big trick is tripping people and another who can fly ships without engines." Poe chuckled. He knew more, but this didn't feel like the time to share it.

"Kylo Ren?" Poe nodded to Opan. "Yeah, I've heard he make a TIE fighter do things the designers said wasn't possible."

Hux was still searching through the database and said distractedly, "He worked with them extensively on redesigning them for the TIE silencer and some other models. Hm, I don't think there's anything else useful here. Maybe I'll turn something up when I talk to Fuseb. If she finds something or talks to anyone, I'd want to know. I wonder if we could force a communications log download the next time she comes into contact with a First Order ship?"

"Do you think she knows about those?"

"I don't know. She's young. She might be stupid." Hux pronounced 'stupid' in an exaggerated way. "A lot of young people are stupid." The screen switched from news reports from Tatooine coincident to the knight's visits, to that of Tonza Ren's simulation usage records.

Opan laughed out loud. "Hux, you know they say that about you, right?" Opan himself was old enough to be Hux's father. "Young and … well, not stupid. But they say things."

"Where do you think I've heard it before? Of course, I know that. You older ones can be stupid, too, just in different ways. They don't seem to realize their personal journals aren't encrypted against the system administrators. I don't know how many cases of actual treason plots I had to turn over to Snoke. It was double digits before people started getting smart."

"Or maybe all the really dumb ones were dead," the captain chortled.

"Hm. Maybe so. But I've always found it's simply easier to follow orders and do my duty. I don't understand why people insist on making it so complicated." Hux took another drink. His lids seemed to be drooping. Poe didn't like the calculating way Opan was looking at Hux. Hux rambled, "I don't see anything here in her training logs that would indicate she knows anything about anything. So I'll make a note here to have something go close and get what we want to know in case she's talking to anyone. That would be good. Then we'll know."

Poe watched the note where it was showing up on the screen. It was riddled with typos.

"Do you want another drink?" Opan asked.

Hux looked at the little in his glass and knocked it back before Poe could object. "I don't think so. I'm done. No longer useful. A dull, dull boy." He smirked and held up the glass in a mock-entitled manner. "Come, Tritt. Take my glass away. I'm finished." His words were clumsy. He set the datapad crookedly on the back of the couch and handed off the glass.

"You never touched your drink," Opan said to Poe.

Poe shrugged and gave him a charming smile. He patted Hux's feet. "I had other things to touch."

Opan's brows furrowed a little. He glanced between Hux and Poe, but he kept his thoughts to himself. He collected the bottle and put it up, along with his glass and Hux's. Opan said, "I'll let myself out, then."

Hux waved him a distracted good-bye and retrieved the datapad, easily resetting the screen to a starscape before putting it aside again. But not crookedly. His voice wasn't slurred this time when he said, "What did you think?"

Poe looked at him sharply. "Are you sober?"

"Not at all. But I'm not as drunk as I am pretending to be. Was pretending. What did you make of him?"

"Tritt? That guy?" Poe blinked, still adjusting to Hux having played them both. (And having drank that much and still able to function even if he was obviously pretty far gone.) "Why did he want to know what was going on with the Force users? Why didn't you mention Rey to him? And you glossed over the ones with Kylo Ren."

"That doesn't answer my question." Hux snorted. "It has long been a goal to limit the influence of Force users in the First Order. Aside from Snoke, but even he wanted to wipe them all out. Except himself. And the Rens. For obvious reasons, Tritt and I never discussed anything about the knights specifically. I didn't mention Rey because I don't want him to know about her. She's important to Kylo Ren and it might endanger her for Opan to know she exists. Same for those with Ren – I can't discuss them without discussing where Ren is and what he's doing. Besides, if they're personally loyal to Ren, then I'm going to do what I can to avoid putting a spotlight on them. Are they on your ship, by the way?"

"Yeah, they are. Why didn't you talk about the knights specifically?"

"We just did," Hux said, looking drunkenly confused despite his excellent attempt at pretended sobriety. "I don't follow?"

Poe clarified. "You said there were obvious reasons why you didn't talk about the knights specifically."

"Oh! Yes. Snoke reads my mind. Read. It meant I couldn't have actual conversations. Or even intended ones. So I ended up with these confusing …" He sighed and looked off to the side, then shut his eyes and shook his head in a wobble. "I really hated it. It was so unnecessary. I don't want to talk about that."

"I think it might be a good idea to have a real conversation with him now that Snoke's gone." Hux frowned. "He's dangerous, Hugs. He struck me as the kind of guy who might 'accidentally' bomb those two on Dagobah and then you're going to have all kinds of trouble with Kylo."

"Good advice. Remind me of it in the morning." Hux nodded. "For what it's worth, I think he knew I wasn't that drunk. He's drank with me too many times before." Hux changed his position and crawled down the couch to Poe. "I think he was more curious about why I might want to dismiss him early. My inhibitions are certainly loosened." He waggled his brows.

"Whoa, hey," Poe said quietly, looking at the fixed way Hux was watching his lips. He could smell the alcohol on Hux's breath. "Why did you dismiss him so early?" Hux seemed enamored to watch him speak.

"So I could spend more time with you." He swayed forward slowly. "Like this."

Poe smiled and put a hand on Hux's shoulder to keep him where he was. "I'm not going to do anything you're going to be mad at me about tomorrow. I'm not stupid, either."

Hux chuckled. "That's fine. You don't have to do anything at all." He came up on his knees and reached out to touch Poe's lips, first with his thumb, then his index finger. Poe let his mouth fall open, even though he knew he shouldn't if he meant what he'd said about not allowing Hux to kiss him while impaired. But oh, Poe wanted it to happen. Just not now, not like this, not when he wasn't certain how in control of his faculties Hux was. "They look so soft," Hux said. "And they are. Soft."

Hux did not, however, kiss him. He moved on, putting both hands to Poe's head, sliding them into his hair and giving him an impromptu scalp massage like the ones Poe had given him. Or Hux tried to. He wasn't very coordinated at the moment. He stood up on his knees and pulled Poe's head against Hux's chest, holding him there in an embrace. He took several heavy breaths. "You are so dear to me," he said quietly.

"I love you, too," Poe said, smiling with amusement at the different ways Hux said he loved him without actually saying it. Though this was definitely the most blatant he'd heard yet. His arms rested around Hux's hips. He gave them a squeeze.

He couldn't see, but he felt, as Hux bent his face to the top of Poe's head. He heard a soft sound that he thought was a blown kiss, or a kiss to his hair. Poe squeezed again in response. Hux sighed and said, "If you think I'm worthwhile, then I value the world of your judgment of people, skewed as it obviously is." He hugged Poe's head, caressing the back of his neck and running his fingers down the back of Poe's shirt to stroke his shoulders. He sighed. "Oh, Poe. Let's get to bed before I get weepy or ridiculous."

Poe leaned back and smiled up at him. "You're already ridiculous, Hugs," he said affectionately. "And I love you that way."


	5. Loose Lips Will Not Sink This Ship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of establishing peace in the galaxy is going to be highly uncomfortable confrontations with the military-industrial complex. There is no one better suited to do that than the First Order itself. It doesn't impact the rest of the story, but it's the backdrop for this particular chapter.
> 
> No Poe in here, although he's talked about a lot.

The  _Finalizer_  was in hyperspace, on their way towards the Kuat system to discuss canceling the First Order contracts with them. It was a sensitive enough arrangement that it required a significant portion of the fleet to be present in case things went sour. Arms dealers had no interest in the end of war. It would be days before they arrived, but Hux needed a break from covering how to deal with worst-case negotiation scenarios.

"What do you think of this whole thing?" Hux asked Tritt and Phasma as they sat in Hux's quarters. The three of them were each a glass deep, a half-hearted game of cards in progress between them. Their datapads had been set aside, different sections of Poe Dameron's profile on each.

"Between you and this general?" Opan asked. Hux nodded. "I find it amazing you managed to find someone who has personally killed more people than I have."

Phasma frowned as she considered one of her cards. "It's not 'personal' if you're targeting someone on a screen and pulling a trigger. You're not feeling your blade slide into their body and seeing the moment in their eyes."

"I count my deaths when I poison people," Opan said, brushing off her point. "He still has an impressive number."

"An estimate," Phasma said, playing her card.

"The title of 'Best Pilot in the Resistance' doesn't come without knocking quite a few people out of the sky," Hux said, taking his turn without putting much thought in it. "Besides, I did not seek him out for that reason. I didn't seek him out at all. What I want to know is if you see any reasons why I shouldn't accept his proposal?"

"What do you want out of him?" Phasma asked as Tritt played.

"Companionship. Tolerance. Things he provides well. I wouldn't be considering it if I didn't enjoy my time with him." Hux said. He watched as Phasma selected her next play. She tended to group her cards in suits and order them by rank. It made it easy to work out what she was holding. He looked away to keep himself from automatically doing that. He had more important things to think about and if it wasn't keeping everyone alive and intact during their mission, then it was deciding if he was going to spend the rest of his life with Poe.

"If you want a political alliance," Opan said, "there are probably noble houses on Coruscant who would take you further."

"That may be the crux of it, Tritt," Hux said, turning his eyes to the captain as Phasma continued to hesitate. "As long as he is an option, I find myself soured on advancing my career beyond the process of setting up the new government. I want to wash my hands of it and be comfortable with him instead of fighting against people who disrespect me behind my back. It is such a temptation to be with someone who genuinely likes me."

Tritt blinked at him and then shook his head. "I wouldn't know. What are you asking us for? You've already made up your mind."

Hux gave him a pained look. Tritt didn't see it. He was frowning at the cards Hux and Phasma had played before adding his own.

"Weakness," Phasma supplied.

Hux nodded slowly, shooting her a grateful glance for understanding.

"What?" Opan asked. "You think you're weak for wanting him, or his existence creates a weakness that could be used against you?"

"Yes," Hux said.

After a beat, Phasma said, "No matter what words are said, each of us lives for ourselves alone."

Hux considered that as they finished out the last cards of the hand.

"Meaning he needs to look out for himself," Opan said to her. "Are you trying to talk him into it or out of it? My hand, by the way." He turned the cubical die beside to him to the next higher number. "Your shuffle, Hux."

Phasma shrugged. "I need a favor." She leaned towards Tritt. "Can you imagine living on one of these luxury worlds, surrounded by the weaklings of the Republic? Someone needs to show them strength. If this is the future of the Order, then I will be part of it."

"Obviously," Opan said dryly, "unless we die first, we're all going to be part of the future."

"I think her point, and mine," Hux said as he finished gathering up the cards, "is whether I'm part of it as a military officer or if I retire. She's staying in. Is it a personal failing for me to hang it up over something this … weak?"

Opan said, "It's not weak to take what you want out of life. You want the leader of the Resistance on his knees for you?" Opan shrugged. "Far be it from me to say that's a personal failing. Speaking of the Resistance, what's their input on this 'relationship'?"

Hux shrugged, shuffling the cards. "I don't think it matters. In General Organa's absence, I've been able to get control of their major sources of funding with either promises of concessions in the treaty negotiations or threats of increased pressure should they oppose us. Dameron is trained as a pilot, not a general, a politician, or even an officer as we know it. He has no idea."

Hux gestured dismissively at the datapads. "The Resistance is fast becoming an arm of the First Order. They did our bidding on Lanson. I have them out now working on some of the less cooperative slave rings. If they have missteps, it's the glorious Resistance whose reputation will suffer, not ours. Until the treaty negotiations are done, I want to keep our image polished."

Phasma nodded. Image was important. So was polish. She cut the deck and returned it to Hux for him to deal them.

"Do you think he'll be angry when he finds out you have him by the short hairs?" Opan asked. "Or does he already know?"

"When he finds out that I'm willing to use my influence to keep his military branch in operation toward achievement of our mutual goals?" Hux said. "I doubt it. I'll spell it out to him in any event. In case you feel inclined to attempt to blackmail me."

Opan chuckled and didn't deny the possibility. "You think I'd do that? He knows how to keep his mouth shut at least. I appreciate that in a man. Especially if he's on his knees."

"That's not very practical," Phasma said. She studied her cards, arranging them carefully.

Opan gave her a lewd smile. "A full mouth is as good as closed."

"If you can call it full," Phasma said.

"You want to find out?" Opan taunted back. As the winner of the last hand, he played the first card of the new round.

"Do you?" She bared her teeth at him and played her card.

"Please," Hux said with a long-suffering sigh. "Some battles are not worth fighting."

"Oh, well if she's no good," Opan said sarcastically, "then thanks for saving me the trouble, but I have to wonder how you'd know."

Hux swatted down his card on the table and colored. "That is not what I meant at all!" Tritt and Phasma both laughed.

Opan played his card and said, "Just don't muster out on us before this thing is done. When I signed up with the Empire, they paid a wage and offered retirement. I want those. And back pay."

"Back pay is not possible," Hux said. "Even with our recent casualties, we'd beggar the Republic."

"Time served, then," Opan insisted.

"That can be done," Hux said. "But only if you watch your words with Dameron. I don't want anything said to make him think he doesn't have my respect."

"My lips are sealed, as always."


	6. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Restitution and the Finalizer have met up at the wreck of the Supremacy, which is still being repaired (with assistance from the Kuat Shipyards who sent crews with the Finalizer back from their mostly-successful mission there). It will probably be refitted to serve as a mobile political center much as Snoke was using it, with the reunified ship being symbolic of the healed rift, of scouring the past and salvaging it for the betterment of the future, etc. It's all very poetic and Star Wars-y and going on in the background for this story, but isn't immediately relevant.

Poe was in a dream (nightmare?) that Kylo was looking at him. That was all, really. Just looking down on him from some mindscape, doing nothing else, while Poe was concerned (afraid?) that at any moment, Kylo might use his powers and invade his mind like he had during the interrogation. Something touched his body, his shoulder, like a disembodied hand trying to wake him.  _Kylo?_  he tried to project.

There didn't seem to be anything there. He blinked his eyes open in Hux's quarters on the  _Finalizer_. The lights were on at half. He remembered Armitage's nightmare from before, waking up feeling Snoke was near or whatever. Was he? Force users didn't always … die. Poe knew that. He'd heard the stories of how Kenobi died and became one with the Force. Hell, Poe had spoken at length about it during the eulogy for L'ampar. Was Snoke lingering around the wreck of the  _Supremacy_ , haunting the area? Was that what he'd sensed?

 _Rey?_  he thought, hoping he was just being paranoid. If he thought Kylo's mental presence was actually Snoke, then maybe it was Rey instead of Kylo.  _How the hell am I supposed to know this stuff?_

"Poe?" That was Hux's voice.

"Huh?" He turned to see Hux on his back, hair in the usual disarray from sleep.

"You said you wanted to watch."

A quick glance showed Hux had pushed down the cover. His pajama bottoms were around his thighs and his erection was exposed. His erection. Every worry about Force-projections disappeared instantly. Poe finished rolling over, eyes alight and mouth open slightly. "Hey. Yeah."

Hux rubbed himself absently with three fingers. He wasn't entirely hard, the penis canting across his lower abdomen, pointing in Poe's direction. "Don't touch me. Don't start to touch me. Not any part of me. Don't ask or tease me." Hux waited for him to respond. Poe nodded, knowing Hux well enough not to take offense.

Hux began, or so Poe realized in retrospect. At the time, Poe thought it was just casual rubbing – three fingers up and down the bottom of the shaft (or top in the current orientation). He would have thought it was nothing until Hux started shifting his hips and tensing. He was only barely what Poe would have considered 'hard'. Hux grimaced a few times, then used four fingers in a steady sweep, then actually gripped himself around the top third of his length.

His tugs and strokes lacked the vigor Poe would have used on himself (or that he'd ever seen others use on themselves, or seen in pornography). He was quietly thankful Hux had enough sense to limit Poe to watching, because if he'd been in the pilot's seat for this flight, he would have already crashed and burned.

The jerking off took very little time from the time Hux wrapped his hand around himself. Seconds, really, before he was giving shaky breaths and then ejaculating moments later. Poe was nearly overcome by the urge to reach for him and barely caught himself. His hands twitched and Hux's eyes darted to them. Hux's hand covered his penis lightly, but he said nothing. He relaxed slowly.

That was … nowhere in the middle of the range of sexual performance as Poe knew it. It was off to the side somewhere. Obviously functional and Hux seemed satisfied with himself, so that was apparently normal for him. It cast Hux's self-evaluation in a whole new light – more self-aware than Poe had thought and the insecurity about being judged deficient made more sense.

Hux gathered up the far corner of the cover and cleaned himself up. He set that corner aside and pulled up his pajama pants. Only then did he invite contact, rolling to face Poe and sliding into an embrace. "You can speak now," Hux said.

He hadn't expressly forbidden it before, but Poe was doubly glad he'd held his tongue. "Thank you for letting me watch."

"I believe that's the first time I've done that since Snoke was killed."

"You mean since sometime before Snoke was killed?"

"No."

Poe pulled back and gave him a perplexed look. "Are you saying you jerked off because Snoke died?"

"I was very glad he was dead."

"Oh." Yes, that was exactly what he was saying.

Hux added, "I was also insensible when the stimulants finally wore off after the Battles of D'Qar and Crait. Mood alterations, impaired judgment, and hallucinations are common side effects. I confined myself to quarters for an entire cycle. I've never had  _that_  response to a stim-crash before; the silence in my head was … erotic. It was so remarkably private. I thought Ren would do the same to me soon enough, but for that moment, I was alone not only in the room, but in my own head."

"Oh. That makes it sound a lot less morbid than it did at first."

Hux snorted. Poe rubbed his cheek once against Hux's, eliciting an exasperated noise. "You need a shave!" Hux said, pulling his face away from the stubble. "I'm going to get up."

Poe grinned at him and sprawled out in the bed, adjusting himself after Hux had climbed over him. "Would it bother you if I laid here and took care of myself? I liked watching you do that."

"No, not at all." Hux looked down at him thoughtfully from beside the bed. "This is going to work, between us." It was a realization, not a question. Poe smiled up at him. The corners of Hux's eyes crinkled in response. He headed off to the refresher looking quite pleased. It was an image Poe kept with him as he turned to his own needs.

* * *

Hux returned from the refresher cleaned up and dressed in an undershirt and underwear. Poe was still on the bed, limbs stretched to take up as much of it as he could. A light sheen of sweat stood out on him from his exertions. Hux picked up a chair from the other room and brought it in, setting it near the top of the bed. He took a seat.

"I have a few things to say."

Poe looked up at him, those heavy lids screening his eyes, dark hair tousled, well-muscled chest visible in the wide V of his half-open pajama top. The necklace Poe usually wore lay in the middle of it like he'd been toying with it – the ring of some past lover, Hux assumed. Poe's expression was relaxed and satisfied.

Hux caught himself from being uncharacteristically distracted by the look on Poe's face. He blinked and refocused. "First off, I spoke with Admiral Prok the other day about my position regarding marriage to you. To be brief, it will not be granted. I may continue to have you as a guest so long as your stay is brief, does not distract from my duty, or constitute a burden. Negotiations for the new government are going well. I would expect the Order to be dissolved in six months to a year. I will resign then, if your offer continues to stand."

"It will." Poe's eyes were wider. His voice gentle.

A small smile touched Hux's lips. "You would wait for the likes of me? Then I must broach the next topic." Hux's tongue touched his upper lip briefly, then he spoke. "I have mischaracterized things to different individuals as it was convenient for me. It is important that you be familiar with these stories so as not to be outraged when you encounter them."

Poe rolled to his side, stretching his arm under the pillow as he propped himself up his elbow, his hand on his head. He listened.

"I have implied that our relationship is much more sexually aggressive than it is in reality, casting myself in a dominant role and you, submissive. I have also implied that our relationship is a manipulative effort of mine to establish control over the Resistance, that I can direct you at specific targets, and sever your supply lines as needed." Hux stopped there, waiting for Poe to digest that and respond.

"Some of that's true," Poe said.

"The best lies are."

Poe shifted his hips, drawing up one knee to be more comfortable. "I'd been wondering what the First Order's take was on us."

Hux shrugged. "There's no need for approbation if I can convince people I'm motivated out of impersonal ruthlessness instead of foolish sentiment."

"I think it's both."

"Then we understand one another. For the time being, I remain the grand marshal of the First Order and I will continue to fulfill my duty as such. That includes doing my best to nullify any threats. I don't expect it to impact you, but it is important that you know how I have framed it to others."

"You're doing right by the Order. I get it. That's okay." Poe rolled onto his back and looked at the ceiling. "Do you have any idea how profoundly I've fucked things up for the Resistance?"

"By being with me?"

"Nah." Poe turned to look at Hux. "I mean before that. I doubt it came up in that profile you ran on me. It's all recent stuff and it's not like we're keeping good records at the moment." Hux listened. "You won the war. Sure. But I lost it. I fucked things up so badly that it took the combined sacrifices of Admiral Holdo, Luke Skywalker, and Leia Organa to save even just the ten percent of us who got away. Then on top of that, Leia put me in charge." Poe shook his head, his expression vulnerable at the responsibility she'd given him.

"Hugs, I don't know how to live up to that much faith. I stood there on Naboo after her funeral wanting to take a blaster to her son's head, because he was cozier with Rey than I wanted. Like I had some sort of say in that. It just ran all through me. Tossing me in that lake was the best thing he could have done. I needed a wake-up call –  _another_  one – because I'm an idiot." He sighed. "And then you standing there next to what I thought was a kriffing Sith lord, ready to fight for him instead of getting yourself back to safety? I realized I'd gotten you guys all wrong.

"I'd gotten everything wrong. The way I used to do things got so many people killed. Friends. Heroes. Good people. And for what? So I could stand over their grave and lie to myself about how they haven't really left us?" Poe rolled on his side, facing Hux. "There is a place in war for impersonal ruthlessness. But there's also a place for sentiment. I got so wrapped up in trying to burn the First Order down that I didn't think about you guys as people willing to die for each other just as much as we were. You were no more than a bunch of targets.

"But now, every time we get together, you and me, you do something new that seems just … preposterous from the outside. Absurd. Then I get your side of it. Your point of view." Poe's mouth curled in a smile. "And it makes sense. There's logic to it, if I just slow down, take my finger off the trigger, and listen to you. I don't need to burn the First Order down. I've handed you the torch and you're doing it for me. Gone in a year without anyone else dying on either side? Hugs, you can tell people whatever you need to tell them. My ego gets what it needs every time you let me into your heart just a little more."

Hux drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You have shown me things I didn't know existed outside of lies and make-believe, much less that such feelings could ever be directed at myself. Your affection and support are a tremendous motivation to me."

Poe smiled languidly. "One thing I want to know – are you ever going to say you love me, using those words? Or are you going to keep dancing around it?"

"I … does it make a difference?" It was as much a question for himself as Poe.

"Yeah, a little." The man sat up in front of him, their knees touching. Poe took off the chain of his necklace and settled it over Hux's head. Hux looked down at the ring dangling from it with a tiny frown. "But either way," Poe said, "I want you to wear this until I can put it on your finger."

"The token of another lover?" It seemed so disrespectful to marry Hux with someone else's ring. There had better be a very good story behind this.

"What?"

"Is this a custom I am unfamiliar with?" Hux looked up at Poe skeptically.

Poe grinned in realization and laughed. "That's my mother's! Hugs! I wouldn't-!" He shook his head and reached out to lift the ring. "This is my mother's ring that she wore in love of my father. It's not … I've never given it to anyone else. I've never felt about anyone else the way I do about you." He chuckled again and settled it against Hux's chest, pressing it to him for a moment. "Even if we have a bunch of misunderstandings."

Hux lifted it off and saw the way Poe flinched when he did so. He stopped in mid-motion. "May I look at it?" Poe nodded. It was a plain steel ring, indistinguishable from a spacer or a cylindrical washer, complete with machining marks on it. The only reason Poe would carry something this plain was if it were deeply meaningful to him. Sincerely, Hux said, "I'm charmed," and replaced it around his neck. Poe exhaled and relaxed.

He reached out and took Poe's right hand, cradling it in both of his. Hux leaned forward and said, clearly and with only a moment of hesitation, "I love you, Poe Dameron. If those words are the ones you want to hear, then they are the ones I will use."

Poe shut watering eyes and moved forward to hug him. "Yeah, you're right," Poe said with a catch to his voice. "This is going to work."


	7. On Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe poses a question to his three friends with a First Order background, asking if they regret their past.

**Title:**  On Regret  
 **Characters:**  Poe Dameron, Armitage Hux, Finn, Kylo Ren  
 **Rating:**  PG  
 **Warnings:**  None.  
 **Setting:**  Grey Lives series. On the  _Restitution_ , about four months following the end of Pacification.  
 **Summary:**  Poe poses a question to his three friends with a First Order background, asking if they regret their past.  
 **Notes:**  Based on actions, canon support materials, and sometimes dialogue, I would say Hux is a sociopath. However, the actor is consistently not portraying a sociopath. I lived under the thumb of one for the worst part of seventeen years. The Hux Domnhall Gleeson portrays does not have that problem. His unguarded expressions are reflective of vulnerable human emotions. Also, lack of empathy exists on a spectrum, just like most mental conditions. So I'm not sure if my interpretation of Hux should be based on what's on screen or the support materials (especially given the support materials are often from other points of view than Hux himself). I'm going to go with what's on screen because that's the ultimate canon. Also, because Star Wars has a history of not using actual sociopathic characters. Having been with one for a long time, I can attest they are ultimately utterly unsympathetic figures and that's not who Hux is.

* * *

"I regret killing my father," Kylo offered in response to Poe's question.

"I regret being a stormtrooper at all," Finn put in.

"I regret nothing," Hux said.

Poe sighed and put his head in his hands for a moment, scrubbing at his face. As he recalled, Hux had already told him he felt no guilt whatsoever from firing Starkiller Base. But he'd thought (Poe had thought) that the three of them needed to come to terms with how the larger galaxy saw their actions, if they were ever to go back to having 'normal' civilian lives. "Okay, clearly, this was not what I thought was going to happen."

"What do you regret?" Hux asked pointedly of Poe.

"What?" Poe looked up.

"What do you regret?" Hux repeated, as though Poe were a part of this and not just a mediator. "You've killed more people than any of the three of us in a personal way, all put together. How many people have you shot down?" Poe blinked at Hux unsteadily at this accusation. Hux went on, "Those were as much people as this man whom you count as a friend." He gestured at Finn. "Or me. Or him," he gestured at Kylo. "Why do you consider our death tolls as something we should regret while you celebrate being the best the Resistance has at blowing people into separate parts?"

"Poe's a war hero," Finn said uncertainly.

"What do you think I am?" Hux fired right back.

"Uh … hated?" Finn said with a snort.

"Do you seriously think I built Starkiller Base and targeted the Hosnian System out of a personal dislike of them? Are you that stupid?" Finn glared at Hux. Poe couldn't help but hear a less exaggerated version of the pronunciation of 'stupid' Hux had used that night on the  _Finalizer_ , drunk in his quarters while chatting with Tritt Opan about the Sith. It was strangely charming and endearing, which was ludicrous.

Poe sighed at how 'stupidly' in love with Hux he was. But he still objected to Hux insulting Finn. "Hey," he said in a soft rebuke. "That's not called for."

Hux heard him, but if he was less offensive because of it, it was hard to tell. "That was war! I do not regret doing what was necessary to win it. The only way I would feel regret would be if I had shirked my duty or," he glanced over at Kylo Ren, "let my personal interests interfere. It did not."

"I had a higher duty," Finn insisted.

"That was a mistake in programming," Hux said.

"All war is personal," Kylo put in before Finn could respond.

"Maybe for you," Hux snapped. "You hit people with a laser sword, face-to-face. The rest of us are doing our jobs, shooting people from a distance. It's much more efficient." Kylo shrugged as though this was not the first time Hux had expressed his reservations about Kylo's combat style.

"And impersonal," Finn said.

"That was the point!" Hux said.

"I regret doing my job altogether," Kylo said.

"Fine," Hux rolled his eyes and looked to Poe. "Do you regret doing yours? I'm not talking about making mistakes. I mean do you see it as an actual moral failing that you did what you thought necessary for your side, your people, for your ideology to carry the day?"

Poe swallowed, chewed his lips, looked away. He thought about how much of a turn-on it had been for Hux to tell him he wasn't guilty. It was that moral certainty that Poe had liked – the feeling he was dealing with someone who had thought things through and was comfortable, satisfied even, with what he'd done. Hux was broken in many ways, but not in this one. Also, he was right. Poe finally said, "No."

"And there we have it," Hux said.

But Finn wasn't going to let it rest there. "This isn't about efficiency. You need some empathy for the people you've killed," he told Hux.

"Why? Should I provide Dameron with the profiles of his victims? What good would that do him? Or them? They're dead."

Poe grimaced as he imagined being subjected to that. "Thank you, no," he murmured.

"You blew up entire planets, Hux," Finn insisted with more kindness than anyone would have expected of him. "Because you don't have any empathy."

"And?"

Finn gave him a puzzled look.

Hux said patiently, "You have accurately diagnosed the problem. What is your point? Do you think a mind-reading Force user like Snoke, with access to the entire First Order and all of its officers, would have put someone in my position who would hesitate in following the orders Snoke knew he would be giving eventually? He did not have me build that weapon without intending to use it. I was hand-picked because I lacked that feature you mention."

"You have empathy," Poe interjected quietly. "I've seen it. You can't believe what Snoke told you about yourself."

"A complete sociopath wouldn't have met Snoke's needs, either," Hux said.

Finn frowned sourly. Kylo regarded Finn thoughtfully.

"I saw that speech you gave on Starkiller Base," Poe said, bringing up something he'd been thinking about for a while now. "What were you thinking?"

"Exactly what I said," Hux answered. "My words were genuine, if a bit scripted. We were on the verge of winning. This would be the hammer blow to force concessions. As I've told you before, I thought we would have achieved our objectives by destroying only the one planet instead of five, but Snoke's orders were otherwise. I stated to him, once, my opinion when I was asked to offer suitable systems for targeting. He listened, considered the options, and told me to set up the weapon to destroy every inhabited planet in the system. So I did."

Kylo spoke up. "I … asked Snoke … not to do it. He didn't take my advice, either."

Hux raised a brow at Kylo, then looked to Finn and Poe. "It was not that sort of relationship. I readily concede to Finn that a different man than I might have fought harder or refused the command outright. I am as I am." He waved a hand at Kylo. "I have twice obeyed  _his_  orders when I thought it would lead to my immediate death. Three times if I count when you drew your lightsaber on me."

"I wasn't going to hit you with it," Kylo grumbled.

"Oh right!" Hux laughed bitterly. "You were just testing to see if the on switch continued to work?"

Kylo grimaced and moved his mouth uneasily.

"I did my duty," Hux said. "That was the foremost directive and virtue of the Order."

Finn sighed and shook his head, looking away. "Yeah, it was. I mean, I couldn't have told Phasma I didn't think it was a good idea to be shooting people." He gave a dry chuckle at the suggestion, still looking away. "If I had, I would have been routed for reprogramming faster than I was." He grinned at a further thought. "I can just imagine you two trying to tell Snoke not to do something."

"I have seen people tortured in front of me because they defied him," Hux said. "I have had to bring them to him knowing it was for that purpose. People I knew."

Kylo snorted. "I've  _been_  tortured for defying him."

"Yes, fine," Hux huffed in amusement. "One-up me. It only proves you were stupid enough to do it. That's the same thing I consoled myself with on the others – they were stupid and the Order was better off without people like that."

"Is the problem solved now that we've gotten rid of him?" Poe asked. "Snoke?"

"You need to get rid of me, too," Hux said, perfectly bland and unbothered by it. "That's why I'm trying to hand everything off to a new government. If the Resistance were still fighting us, if the New Republic was still a meaningful enemy, then I would hold the reins of power and drive the First Order until my last breath, destroying every enemy in my reach and spending every resource necessary to do it.

"But I don't have to because you lot," Hux gestured at all three of them, "have made a different way possible." Hux shrugged flippantly. "And perhaps because of what Starkiller did to the Hosnian system and the lingering rumors that we have other, similar weapons, or will soon. The propaganda department is hard at work making my life easier. No one wants to call my bluff, so the war is over. That means I'm not needed. I'll hand it off to a government and find something more useful to do with myself."

"You and me are going to start an ice cream shop on Yavin," Poe said seriously, pointing at him.

Hux blinked at him. The table was silent for a long beat at the preposterousness of this suggestion for leaders of galaxy-spanning armies. "You've decided that?" Hux finally said.

"Yeah."

Hux sighed. "Fine. It had better be near a university or something. I don't want to be cut off from things."

"It's where my family home is," Poe said.

Hux arched a brow at him. "My family home is a horror show. Might as well see how yours is."

"Your family home?" Poe tried to remember from Hux's file. "On Arkanis?"

"I've lost all memory of it, at least according to Snoke. That's the horror."

"I could look," Kylo offered.

"And I could stab your eyes out," Hux said, both casual and serious.

"That's harsh," Kylo said with a furrowed brow.

"Do you not understand how deeply I resent the Force?" Kylo grimaced but said nothing. Hux went on, "You know what Snoke did to me, to you, to others. Why would I allow that again for a few memories of a place I'll never see again? A past that means nothing to me now? If I regret anything, it's that this entire thing came to pass – my whole life and all the things that happened before it. I'm not responsible for it. None of us are. War and tragedy happen. Now we move forward and prevent it where we can." Hux looked over at Poe. "If that means going to Yavin to run an ice cream shop, then so be it."

"An ice cream shop?" Finn asked. "Really?"

Poe shrugged. "Gotta do something."

"Expecting me to serve customers is probably a bit of a stretch," Hux allowed.

"I thought about being a flight instructor," Poe said. "But I wanted something we could do together."

Hux said, "I mentioned a university because I have ideas on continuing research on the applications for kyber crystals. There's so much potential there! The Jedi have hidden it away from the galaxy for a thousand years! At the very least, I could revolutionize galactic transportation!"

Poe and Finn gave him puzzled looks for the unexpected excitement, but for Kylo it was a continuation of an idea and a conversation from months back. Kylo said, "You'd have to build another Starkiller for that."

Hux grinned at him with sudden, wicked exuberance. "We wouldn't call it that! And besides, I don't need to be anywhere near it. War and necessity have always been the greatest drivers of innovation. That fierce weapon could have brought the entire galaxy together in so many ways. I can optimize the shipping lanes, end the Unknown Regions, and tame wild space! The Outer Rim need not be! 'Core worlds' would be meaningless!"

"What are you talking about?" Poe asked.

Hux snorted softly and shook his head. Kylo gave him a long look, then said to Poe, "Starkiller Base had other applications than blowing things up. Hux … promoted them, but Snoke wasn't interested outside of what it did for the mobility of the fleet. But truly, more than blowing up the Hosnian system, it was the other things Starkiller could do that allowed the Order to unleash itself on the rest of the galaxy – always a step ahead of the Resistance."

Poe raised his chin in realization. "Oh! This is that thing about how you were able to get to your core worlds in a day or so and it took us a week, right?"

Hux nodded, still smiling. "But it would take building another machine. Just a small one. Ship-based would do. It doesn't have to be strong enough to blow up anything of great size."

Kylo gave a low chuckle and shook his head.

"You can really do all of that?" Poe asked, looking at Hux. "Those things you claim about shortening hyperspace transit?"

"Definitely. I proved it. I've done it. But then you destroyed it." He smiled at Poe because just as he didn't have regrets, he didn't have hard feelings. "So. An ice cream shop near a university. You can part-time as a flight instructor and I'll see if anyone is interested in the Order's greatest technological achievements." Hux turned to Kylo. "I still have all the plans."

"I know you do. You're right, too. I think that would change a lot of things, for a lot of people."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a theory about hyperspace and Starkiller Base. It might be faulty. I don't know tons about Star Wars technology. But I go back to the original 'explanation' for why making the Kessel Run in 14 parsecs was a big deal. Parsecs are a measure of distance. The explanation given (aside from writer's error) was that the biggest barrier to transportation in Star Wars was plotting the shortest course, not moving one's ship faster.
> 
> The reason I've read for the Unknown Regions to have been 'unknown' was that getting to them required maneuvering past gravitic anomalies and around various space things solid enough to be barriers to safe travel. Initially, this took months for the First Order to manage. Eventually, it took only days. I couldn't find a reason in Wookieepedia as to how they shortened the time.
> 
> So I developed a theory that it had to do with Starkiller Base. Starkiller operates by launching energy through hyperspace and relying on that energy being pulled out of hyperspace as soon as it hits a gravity well powerful enough to do it. (Which is coincidentally powerful enough to impede hyperspace travel for the same reason.) It's a convenient way to blow up planets. It's essentially the Holdo maneuver, but on a planetary scale.
> 
> My theory was that you could do this at a very low power setting without targeting a planet – just shoot the beam off into space in the general direction you want to go, and figure out how far the beam shoots. You're not risking an entire ship that will be vaporized and useless, reporting back nothing. It's just energy. If you could measure how far the beam went, you could chart out shorter hyperspace routes throughout the galaxy.
> 
> Can you imagine the revolution caused by making space travel 'shorter' so that routes were as direct as possible? The Outer Rim, Middle Rim, and Core Worlds might no longer be divided into districts like that if they all took the same time to reach. I've long been fascinated by the Von Thunen model of land use. This is the same applied to space. It has tremendous applications for military mobility (which was all Snoke wanted to use it for), but also for commercial and economic growth and equality.
> 
> That's what Hux is going on about.


	8. No Blame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back on the Restitution some time later. Hux has arrived with a diplomatic group to collect a full roster of all current Resistance members, but as usual with these chapters, the story focuses on the characters and not the larger background stuff. This is 6-8 months after the events of The Last Jedi and immediately after the previous chapter, On Regret.

When the others left, Hux crowded close to Poe. His expression was mild. His hands were raised as he fussed with Poe's hair, tucking it behind his ears. Poe loved this. Hux was probably never going to be naturally effusive, but he was affectionate often enough and needful of Poe's approval nearly all the time.

"What did you really think about my ice cream shop idea?" Poe asked as Hux moved on to fluffing his hair. Poe's hands were on Hux's waist, fingers pressing in lightly.

"What I liked the most was that you'd been thinking about our future. Despite my efforts, I haven't been able to bring together a useful plan."

Poe chuckled. "That makes it sound like I put a lot of thought into it. It was, uh, really just off the cuff. Spur of the moment, you know?"

"In any case," Hux paused to touch the side of his thumb to Poe's temple, "you were thinking about it. It gives us a target and a framework to get started. We can change it later if necessary." He pulled back and returned to his seat.

"As an idea itself," Hux continued, "it's fine. I can see myself working as a manager, overseeing inventory, credits, and deliveries while someone we hired did the actual customer service. We don't have to make money at it, so efficiency isn't as important as enjoying it. You could be a freelance flight instructor. I would enjoy spending my time at a table with a cup of tea and a datapad, corresponding with engineers and working on designs."

Poe took his own seat. "Like for that … second Starkiller?" His voice was skeptical. "Just the idea of you working on something like that gives me the creeps."

Hux shrugged. "As I said, I don't need to be anywhere near it – just supply the plans and technical information to others." He paused, eyes going distant for a moment. "We should refit the  _Eclipse_. It's the most powerful ship in the fleet. It's equipped with a Death Star-type super laser. There is no peaceful purpose for it. The superstructure of the ship would work fine for a hyperspace beam projector." He was quiet.

"The  _Eclipse_? That's the black ship I saw at the wreck of the  _Supremacy_ , right?" Hux nodded. Poe continued, "You're really getting into this idea of dismantling the First Order's military capabilities, aren't you?"

"You have no idea. Meaning: yes, of course. If I'm not going to be in charge of it, then I want it permanently and irrevocably hobbled."

"Wow, okay. I didn't know you felt that strongly about it."

"Never give someone a blaster unless you're certain where they're going to point it," Hux said, reprising a common quote. "It's not pacifism on my part. It's a desire not to be tending shop on Yavin when it turns out to be the next planet blown apart. I don't trust the new government. I don't trust any government. I don't trust anyone but myself, so the fewer functioning weapons I leave behind me, the better."

"That's probably smart." Poe sighed. "Thanks for playing along tonight with my little get-together. After that argument you had with Rose, it just seemed like we might do better with just the people who'd been in the Order."

"And you."

"And me," Poe agreed.

"You keep trying to separate yourself, morally, from the rest of us. Do you see that?"

Poe grimaced and looked away. "Yeah, I do."

"You want to blame us. Me?"

Poe shook his head. "No. I don't think so. I wish there was someone I could blame. But it can't be you. You're working harder than anyone to clean all of this up. So's Kylo. And Finn's doing a lot, too. We all are, really, but I understand Rose's frustration. So many people were lost."

"Blame Snoke. He was very guilty and he's dead. It makes him convenient for blame-laying. I tell everyone it was all his fault."

Poe sighed and changed the subject a little. "What ever happened to him anyway? Is he buried somewhere or just floating around in space?"

"He was incinerated. I had the capsule of his ashes launched into the stellar body that erupted from Starkiller Base. It seemed fitting."

"Oh." A deeply virtuous, conscientious person would not have smiled at that. Poe not only smiled, but chuckled. "That's nice."

"I would have loved to have done worse, had I had the opportunity. My profile notes my lack of empathy, but it also points out my sadism."

"Sadism?" Poe looked Hux up and down. He knew the First Order probably meant that in terms of a personality trait, but Poe's familiarity with the word was mainly in the sexual realm. And no matter what the Order meant, it gave him ideas. "You've never hurt me," he said in a tone of mild complaint.

"It says 'sadist', not 'idiot'." Hux chuckled. Poe's tone and the look at him had not gone unnoticed. The chuckle died as Hux turned quietly attentive.

Poe leaned forward, lips parted. "That's not what I meant. You like that, though? You get a charge out of it?"

Hux blinked once and his expression shuttered. He went still and paled.

"Easy, easy," Poe held up his hands in surrender. "I'm not accusing you of anything bad." He wasn't sure Hux was even breathing. "We're good here. I thank the stars you trust me like you do. Maybe that sounded like an accusation. It's not. There are a lot of different ways for people to enjoy each other. Some of them involve pain – giving it, receiving it." Poe went silent and waited. When seconds continued to tick by, Poe prompted, "Can you say something? I need to know what you're thinking."

"You are a sadist?" Hux's color returned a bit, but he wasn't moving an inch. "As well?"

"No. But I was with someone who was, once, and we did a few things. I liked it."

"Like what?"

"She had this foot-beating thing she was into. Tied my feet together with a belt and hit 'em with a lash. Lightly. I didn't think I'd like it. I was wrong."

"You got off on being tortured?" Hux's voice was very even. His expression had so far remained unreadable, which was an indication all its own.

"I've been tortured. That wasn't torture. Those are two very different things. But I did get off from what she did."

"I don't … know what you want from me." Hux attempted a smile. It was wooden.

"I can see you're trying, okay? I want you to think about it. Talk to me when you think you can. I'm not judging you. I'm not telling you this is something we should or shouldn't do. I'm just throwing it out there, because if there's a way we could enjoy each other that works better for you, then I'd like to try it out."

"I might want things that are very disrespectful of you."

"I figured that out that first day we got together on Naboo. Remember?" Hux raised his brows just slightly in affirmation. Poe went on, "I'm willing to do that with you. I've offered a few times, but I've never been sure you wanted to take me up on it or if you'd rather just think about it. Either one's okay. I will literally get on my knees and beg if that turns you on. Or if you just like it." Poe let his voice drop. "Shameful. Dirty. However you like it. It doesn't damage my ego to stroke yours, you know."

Hux licked his lips and swallowed.

Poe grinned at that very obvious sign of interest. "Think about it. And let me know. Maybe I'll try a few things. Do you want to hit the sack though?"

"You really expect me to be able to sleep after that subject?" Hux's voice remained even, with his attention hungrily fixed on Poe.

Poe grinned again. "I'm glad to hear I've got your engine running. How about you hold me in the dark and tell me what you're into until you get too sleepy to keep your eyes open?"

"You'll have to eject your droids. I'm not sleeping in the same room with them, much less discuss anything like that in front of them. Not even if they're on low power mode."

"Yeah, okay. That's fair." Poe stood and gave Hux a pat on the shoulder as he passed. "You know, maybe you ought to send me a copy of this file of yours. I think the one I have is way skimpier because it doesn't have anything like that in it. I wouldn't mind seeing what you have on me, either."

"I will let you read it," Hux said, rising to follow him towards Poe's quarters. "But I won't transmit mine or give you a copy. I can leave you a data card with your own file."

"That's good enough."


	9. Ah Shucks Hux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Explicit
> 
> Super-mild kinky stuff.

"Your bed smells like you," Hux observed as he settled in behind Poe. It was their usual (initial) sleeping position.

"That's because I haven't had anyone else in it for a long time."

"I have never required that of you." Hux fussed with Poe's hair, combing it out of his face. He moved one foot up from Poe's heel to his ankle, letting the Achilles tendon slide between his big toe and the rest. He gripped slightly with what Poe thought of as weird toes.

"We're gonna get married," Poe said. "Even assuming I was interested in being with someone else, which I'm not, that would be really disrespectful."

"Would it?"

Poe turned enough to look over his shoulder. "It's not in the First Order? I mean, you guys aren't … exclusive? What does marriage mean?"

"Marriage means you share quarters. Everything beyond that is negotiable."

Poe blinked at him for several seconds. "Whoa. I … thought it was a little more involved than that."

"The Order is an active military society. There's no property to be inherited or status to be secured through matrimony. Many of the Republic functions of marriage are inapplicable. Even the raising of children can be handled institutionally if the parents don't wish to."

"Okay." Poe was still thrown, realizing they had a lot to talk about if the defaults he'd assumed were all 'negotiable'. "How, uh, how common is exclusivity?"

"Enough to be considered the norm. But not so much as to attract commentary if otherwise, so long as both parties are willing."

"Um, uh … children? I mean, like …" He couldn't figure out a polite way to ask about why Hux being a bastard was a social disgrace.

"Those who birth children raise them if they wish to. Those who cannot give birth or do not wish to bear them personally have the opportunity to adopt from the infants we collect. Likewise, those who wish to surrender their children and parental rights have the option of doing so, though that is very rare and seen very negatively."

"But are they … what about parentage?"

"Those who raise them are their parents regardless of where the child comes from. Biological parentage is recorded separately if it isn't the same. It's tested for in all cases."

Poe realized he wasn't getting anywhere near what he was really asking about. Not unless he was blunt, so he tried that. "Um, I don't want to ruin the mood here, but, uh, why is you being a bastard a problem?"

Hux was still for a long moment. Poe was still turned, braced on one elbow and getting something of a crick in his neck for looking over his shoulder this long. But he needed to see. "My father came from a tradition of inherited landed aristocracy, primogeniture, and nepotism. His vows were standard Imperial, which includes sexual fidelity. He foreswore himself and I'm proof of it. Everyone knows that. Or at least all the older ones do. The First Order doesn't even have standardized marital vows and our advancement in rank is supposed to be due solely to merit."

"Oh." Poe turned away, rubbing at his neck and shoulder as he thought that through. "So it's not the parentage thing. Or not just that. It's a bunch of things. And it's different anyway from what it was thirty years ago, is what you're saying?"

"Sort of. For him, my bastardy was proof of his own dishonor. He was determined to stamp it out. But for everyone else, anything I achieved was only proof of favoritism. Snoke and Kylo Ren were a relief in a way – much easier to convince I had some worth, although the rumors never stopped. I don't wish to speak more of it. Suffice it to say: it's a sore topic."

"That's okay. I'll listen to whatever you want to tell me, but I don't need to know. Let's talk about better stuff. Like you and me."

"Hmm."

When Hux said nothing else, Poe spoke. "Okay, I'll talk first. Let me know if anything I'm saying works for you." He put a hand over Armitage's where it rested on his belly. "You're the grand marshal, leader of the entire Order, and I'm just a lowly stormtrooper swabbing the decks." He felt the pillow shift as Hux cocked his head. "I screwed something up and got punishment detail. Something you took personally?" Hux was still, listening. "Then I screwed something up again, right in front of you, and you called me away to punish me … privately."

"No," Hux said thoughtfully. He relaxed a little against Poe's back. "That's not it. I am the grand marshal, but you're not low. You're still the general of the Resistance. A great man. Respected. Capable. A man of good judgment and many options." Hux rubbed the point of his chin back and forth on Poe's shoulder. "And despite this, you are willing to debase yourself for me. You see, what attracts me to you is the relationship we have – not a fantasy. The things you've said to me are deeply satisfying."

"Oh." It tied together neatly with what Hux had just said of his father and expectations. "You mean how much I admire you? How irresistible you are? How much trouble I'm willing to get into to be with you?"

"I hope it's not _too_  much trouble," Hux said quietly. His fingers made a small circle against Poe's belly.

"It'd be worth it if it was. Is that what works for you?"

In answer, Hux cleaved to him a bit closer, pressing the line of their bodies together.

"Oh yeah," Poe purred. "You don't want to humiliate me. You want me to humiliate myself  _for you_. I get it now." He turned in Hux's arms and they settled into a loose embrace. "I would do anything for you, Armitage," Poe whispered. "You want a powerful man willing to humble himself for you, is that it? You've got that." Poe grinned and nodded. "You've got all of that, all of me." He leaned in gently kissed Hux on the collarbone, getting a shudder in response.

"I want you," Poe said, reaching inside his pajamas to stroke himself slowly. "I want you bad. You know that, right?"

"I like seeing it," Hux said, watching his face. He glanced down at Poe's motions and dropped one of his hands to lightly cover Poe's, feeling his movement through the thin fabric. "I like feeling it."

"Yeah? You're sexy, Hux. So fucking unavailable, yet I've got you in my bed. I am the luckiest man in the galaxy. Have I told you that before?"

"I think you've said something like it," Hux allowed, fingertips trailing up Poe's forearm, pushing up the sleeve of his pajamas to touch bare skin. It wasn't what Poe normally wore, but knowing Hux would be staying, he'd requisitioned the closest thing to First Order sleepwear to make sure Hux was comfortable. "But you're right – I like hearing it. As often as you want to tell me."

"There is no one else I'd rather be with," Poe said. "I will do anything for you. I will embarrass myself. Tell people how much I love you. Brag about how hot you are. I know you don't want me talking about us, but sometimes I can't help it."

Hux chuckled and grinned. "I don't mind so much anymore."

"Oh, that's fantastic. You're the greatest, you know that?" Poe laid it on as thick as necessary. He was stroking himself faster now. "I don't want to ever disappoint you. All I have to do is think about you and I get hard. I want you just like you are – practical, ambitious, so sure of yourself, maybe even cruel at times. Be cruel to me, huh?"

Hux lurched with a shove to his shoulder that would have stopped Poe cold if he hadn't been looking right in the man's face. But what he saw was desire, not aversion. It was actual fucking desire. Maybe, or maybe not, sexual lust, but it was something hot. The dilation of Hux's pupils against such light-colored irises was obvious.

Poe swallowed and panted. He licked his lips. "I just got a rise out of you." His face lit up. That was such an accomplishment.

Hux turned confused and apprehensive. "I don't know what to do."

"It's okay," Poe said softly, jerking off a little slower. "Let's just keep doing what we're doing. We can figure it out as we go along, or later. No hurry, okay?"

Hux nodded. He reached down, his hand following Poe's wrist under the elastic band of his pajamas, sliding over Poe's on his shaft, then lower over his balls, then he pulled it out to hook Poe's thigh and pull Poe's leg over Hux's hip. Poe pushed down the pajama bottoms to the top of his ass and snugged his calf behind Hux's legs. Hux's hand went back between them, to Poe's balls. He gripped, pulling them so the elastic band fit under them.

"Yeah, fuck yeah," Poe breathed, his hand speeding up. "You want me? There is nothing better than this with you. I love it when you look at me. Yeah." Hux watched his face as he rolled the testicles in his palm firmly. Poe found his hips hitching with each squeeze. "Oh fuck, this is doing it. Hurt me? You got me by the short hairs. Fuck. You have me. I will always be yours." He bit his lip. Hux tipped his head to touch foreheads with him, tugging and turning his wrist a little, varying the pressure. Poe grunted as he worked himself, so aroused he was unable to speak. His breath became uneven and a moment later he was coming with a whimper.

Hux released him and stroked his thigh soothingly.

Poe was panting, staring straight forward when Hux lifted his face and kissed him on the forehead. Of all the things, Poe felt tears come to his eyes. Poe wiped off his hand and pressed forward against the other man, cheek to cheek. "You kissed me." His voice shook. "Hugs, you kissed me. Fuck me." It was such a small thing in the overall scheme of things, or even in the course of relationships, but he'd never had that from Hux until now.

Hux breathed out deeply, tucked his head against Poe's, and murmured, "I love you."


	10. Kiss and Tell

"How do you deal with him?" Finn asked the next day. "He's so cold compared to you."

Poe gave him an exaggerated look like Finn was crazy. "Hux? What are you talking about? He's an adorable ray of sunshine." Poe couldn't keep a straight face for it, though.

Finn laughed at the image. "Adorable …?"

Poe leaned in close, whispering conspiratorially. "Finn, he kissed me last night." He was breathlessly excited about it, grinning madly now.

Finn blinked at him. "How long have you two been seeing each other? Months? More than half a year? And he's just kissing you now? Rose kissed me before we were even dating."

"I thought he might never kiss me at all, Finn!" Poe nodded at him. "It's a big deal."

Finn floundered for a moment. "Poe, I'm trying to be your friend about this, but why don't you find someone who can love you like … like a real person? You deserve more, you know?"

"He is a real person. There's nothing wrong with him. I'm having the time of my life. I've never been so into someone. He is the most giving and thoughtful partner I've ever had, Finn, in his own way. I love him. It's great." Poe patted Finn's forearm. Then he grinned widely again. "And he kissed me!"

"I could kiss you if it made you that happy."

"Sure, go ahead, but it's not the same, because you're not him. He's so sweet. Get to know him, Finn. Take another look. He's really going all-out for the Republic. Best ally we've got. Don't shoot him down because he strikes you as cold. He's got a warm heart. Trust me."

Finn raised his brows and glanced away, theoretically in whatever direction Hux was from them. He shook his head and rolled his eyes.


	11. Fair Trade

"You're doing quite a lot of staring," Hux observed of Finn after the rest of the staff had filed out for lunch. Hux was taking his time wrapping up, making a few last entries on his datapad.

Finn rose and walked over to Hux's end of the table, but left the table between them. "Just thinking. Poe says you and he are engaged."

Hux continued with his notes. "Oh."

"Did you say 'no'?"

Hux looked up at him and enunciated more clearly. "I said, 'oh' as an acknowledgement of your statement."

Finn nodded. "But you're not confirming it."

Hux went back to his notes. "You did not ask it as a question."

Finn huffed. "Are you engaged to Poe Dameron?"

"Is my personal life any of your business?"

Finn frowned, because this was exactly what he'd been trying to get through to Poe earlier. The guy was stand-offish and difficult on purpose. "Poe's one of my best friends. So yeah, it's my business."

Hux gazed at him levelly for a long moment. "And you saved his life. Which I appreciate. So yes, we are engaged." He said it crisply and coolly, like he would have rather not said it at all, but was obligated to do so.

"He thinks a lot of you," Finn said after a beat.

"As I do of him," Hux said, looking back down at his datapad and powering it off. His voice was softer though. Warm.

A small smile played over Finn's lips. "That's what I wanted to hear." Hux looked up at him in question and Finn elaborated. "I wanted to hear your voice change when you talked about him. You're always so … distant and hard to read."

Hux's brows rose slowly. "Thank you."

A laugh forced itself out of Finn. "You think that's a compliment?"

Hux gave him a wry smile. "I know you don't mean it as one, but for me it's a win either way."

"Alright." Finn started to leave.

"Wait. I have a question for you."

Finn turned back and braced himself. Hux's tone was as formal as ever now. Finn was proud that the desire to address him as 'sir' was long-gone. "Sure."

"I have not seen your name in the files," Hux said. "Are you registered as a member of the Resistance?"

Finn looked at the blank datapad, then at Hux, and shrugged. It wasn't the sort of personal question he was expecting in retaliation. Hux had a more or less legitimate reason to be asking, as his whole mission here on the  _Restitution_  was cataloging their membership. "I don't know," Finn answered. "It's not like they gave me an orientation packet."

"Hm." Hux pressed his lips together in a thin line. "Do you wish to be?"

Finn shrugged again. "I don't think it matters. Aren't all these meetings to dissolve the Resistance?"

"Yes, essentially. But those members who are vetted and approved by both the Order and the Republic will be given offers of continued employment. If you're not registered, then there is no offer. It depends on what you wish to do with your life. But if you wish to continue to serve in the military, then this is your best opportunity to be on the list."

"Wouldn't you just mark me off of it anyway?"

"Of course not. As you yourself have said, Poe Dameron is one of your best friends." His voice was level and uninflected, so Finn couldn't tell where Hux himself stood on it. As a man who had a personal stake in Finn's defection, had slapped him, ordered his execution, and put a bounty on his head, it would seem clear where Hux stood. But he was saying that wasn't the case, because of Poe.

Finn crossed his arms. "Favoritism, huh? Is that how it goes?"

"In the unlikely event I have personal information about someone, I am free to use it to inform my judgment. Encouraged to, in fact. You were one of our best stormtroopers."

Finn stood there with his arms crossed for a long beat, running his tongue over his teeth behind closed lips. From what Poe had said, Hux wouldn't be in this new military. But some other people Finn wanted to avoid might be. "I'll have to talk to Rose. I've got a question for you in turn." Hux raised his brows in invitation. Finn leaned forward, both hands on the table. "If I had personal information about someone that might make a difference in your judgment, would you want to hear it?"

"Certainly."

Finn bit his lips briefly, trying to make sense of Hux's unemotional tone. He pulled out a seat and sat down. "Do you know how we managed to blow up Starkiller Base?"

Hux pulled out the seat opposite him and settled in. "I have some familiarity with it."

The far door slid back and Poe looked in at them, eyes going between the two. "Hey?" The two stormtroopers standing guard outside the door continued facing outward, obviously having allowed Poe to interrupt, and ignoring him at present. Finn knew they had to have been given orders regarding Poe, because that was not standard protocol. Finn and Hux merely looked at him, so Poe said, "You coming to lunch, Hugs, Finn?"

Finn shook his head and said quietly, "I still can't believe you get away with calling him that."

Hux gave Finn a surprisingly warm smile, which continued as he turned to Poe. "I'll have someone show me to the mess hall later."

"Yeah," Finn put in. "I'll do it."

Poe looked between the two of them again, then nodded as he got the message this was a private conversation he wasn't invited to. "Okay. See you there." He left and the door slid shut again.

"You're taking this seriously," Finn said to Hux. "What I have to say."

"Shouldn't I?"

"Yeah," Finn nodded and went back to what he'd been about to tell. "Did you know it was Phasma who lowered the shields for us?" Hux's expression didn't change, telegraphing neither yes nor no. Finn exhaled heavily. "She did. It was her. All we had to do was point a blaster at her and she squealed like a whoop hog. She didn't fight. She didn't resist. She just gave us what we wanted and went where we told her. I didn't know what to think when she was there on the  _Supremacy_. But I finally decided you didn't know. Did you?"

"She gave a believable story. Which I believed."

"Whatever she told you isn't how it played out. Chewbacca was there, too. And Han Solo, but he didn't make it."

Hux made a soft sigh, studying the table between them. Then he looked up. "There is a trick I learned when I was running battlefield simulations at the academy. It's very simple. I set up a scenario and then ask other people what they'd do in my position. People love giving advice, especially to Brendol's son, and I found it an endless source of insight. So. What would you do in my position, now that I have been given this information?"

Finn blinked at him. "Uh … have her arrested for treason. And, uh, you know. Treason."

"Executed, you mean?"

"Yeah."

"Why would I apply that to her and not to you?"

"Me?"

"You were holding a blaster to her head, correct? You're not even a Resistance member. You are a stormtrooper who committed treason, same as what you're saying she did. Now in your case, Kylo Ren rescinded the charges. In hers, there are as of yet no charges. But what distinguishes your defection from her dereliction of duty?"

"She's still in the First Order."

Hux gave him a nod. "That's true. And very important. Although the Order, just as the Resistance, is in the process of dissolution. Anything else?"

"She lied to you."

"Also important, though I can hardly fault her for it under the circumstances."

"She got Starkiller Base destroyed."

"You're more responsible for that than she is. I agree that what you have described is treason and an executable offense. Many officers abandoned their post that day. I did not mention this to Snoke, although it was obvious. He did not inquire."

"How did you get off the planet?"

"On a shuttle."

"No, I mean, didn't …" Finn shrugged. "Didn't you abandon your post?"

"No, I did not," Hux said patiently and without the defensiveness Finn would have expected. "I was given express and explicit directions by the supreme leader himself after I informed him of the planet's pending destruction. I carried out my orders successfully. Leaving the planet was part of them. Aside from Kylo Ren and the staff with me, as far as I know, no one else was given such permission. However, when survivors from Starkiller Base reported for duty, I did not see a need to make an issue of it to one as learned and aware as Snoke. Nor did I inquire too closely of them, Captain Phasma included. They were, after all, loyal enough to be reporting back to duty."

Finn sighed. "You've got to do something. She can't just get away with this."

Hux considered for a long moment, then said, "You saved Poe's life. He has quite a debt to you. Would you trade all of that to persuade me to eliminate Phasma?"

Finn's brows furrowed. "Trade?"

"I owe Phasma. Does it matter to you so much, that you would use all your influence to make me do this thing?"

"What do you owe her?"

"Enough that I'm not making an offer of trade at this point. I want to know if I did, would it be accepted? Is your sense of fairness enough that you would give up all consideration I hold for you now due to your relationship with Poe, in exchange for allowing you to strike at Phasma? Is it worth a life debt to you? That's part of the insight I get from this process."

Finn stared blankly at the table. He was asking Hux to kill Phasma. That's what it boiled down to, but he hadn't seen it that way until just now, with the way Hux put it. Finn had seen it more as making Phasma pay for all the years of hypocrisy, demanding complete loyalty and self-sacrifice from her troops, then turning on the Order as soon as she was in danger. Hux was dead right – it was Finn's sense of fairness.

But was justice served by singling out Phasma based on a traitor's word (which interestingly, Hux hadn't doubted as far as Finn could tell) and executing her when so many others had been given a pass? Finn wasn't sure Hux had the authority to order an execution for an act Snoke had tacitly allowed. Would there be required a board of inquiry instead, one where Finn's input would be questioned more closely and might not even be admitted as evidence?

Finn remembered Poe arguing against holding the members of the Order responsible for their actions in service under Snoke or Kylo Ren. What if this had been Phasma's way of defecting, leaking vital information as soon as she had a chance, because someone as highly placed as she would never be allowed to publicly show a lack of support for the regime?

Finn really didn't know Phasma. Hardly anyone did. There were rumors she was chummy with Hux, though. Apparently, they ate together in the officer's mess more often than not. Which might be another reason for Hux asking him if a life debt was worth it. What if Hux owed Phasma a life debt in turn? What sort of position was Finn putting Hux (Poe's fiancé) in here? At the very least, he was asking him to kill one of his friends.

Finn's shoulders slumped. "No. It's not about fairness, or it shouldn't be. It's not about winning or making sure she loses." He looked up at Hux. "That means she gets away with it, doesn't it?"

"She's already gotten away with it," Hux said. "But now I know. You are right: it is personal information that will effect my judgment. I will think carefully about my recommendation in her case, whereas before I would have passed it through without hesitation. Once the Order was dissolved, the amnesty clause will prevent any prosecution based on misdeeds from before, which was part of the whole reason for this vetting process. But that's all I will say of what I might or might not do. I do not intend to tell her that you told me in any case."

Finn stood slowly. "Okay. I think I should be mad about this, but I'm not. Thanks for listening. And taking me seriously. Even if it's just because I'm Poe's friend."

"Of course. Couldn't possibly be because I have an interest in doing my duty properly." Hux gathered up his things as Finn gave him a perplexed look. "Let's get to lunch before he worries too much."


	12. War Stories

Hux stood with his tray, evaluating the options in the cafeteria line of the Resistance ship,  _Restitution_.

Finn stood behind him, because no matter how long he'd been out of the program, rank went first. It piqued a little sympathy in him to watch the grand marshal dither over something so mundane. "It's not just 'grab and go' like it is in the Order. You have to actually think about it."

"My food choice is not something I even want to think about." Hux turned to Finn. "What do you recommend?"

Finn's brows rose at being asked for his opinion. "You want to eat First Order style, or do you want to be adventurous?"

"I'll stick with what I'm used to if I can."

Finn nodded and started pointing helpfully at things as he spoke. "Then you want that protein loaf and you'll need to scrape off the sauce. Get that white stuff over there and leave off the oil. Then the leaves down there, but the sauce for it is called dressing and you don't want any."

"Is the bread safe?"

"Yeah, that stuff is, but most of the breakfast ones are so sweet I can't handle them. I don't know about you." Finn chuckled. When Hux glanced at him for it, he shrugged. "You ought to hear the people here talk about being forced to eat First Order food." He shook his head. "They think we eat prison slop or something. They hate it."

"Hm. Poe has not complained to me. Has he to you?"

Finn snorted. "Poe has so many good things to say about First Order stuff, it bothers me."

Hux gave him an amused glance and went about filling his tray per the recommendation. "It's not like he's housed in the barracks when he visits. He's getting a biased view."

Finn tilted his head at Hux and said, "Thank you. I'm glad someone realizes that! Now if you could just convince Rey and Poe and Steel, it would make me a lot happier. I listen to them and it's like I defected for no reason." He huffed and took a slice of the same meatloaf, but chose other things for the rest of his selection.

Hux didn't answer, so they took a seat with the rest. Hux's staff were along one side of the table and he joined them there. Finn sat in the empty seat that had been left next to Poe, which meant he was across from Hux. Poe was across from Eddiva Birnham, who had been the ranking member of the entourage until Hux arrived. Those in the First Order group, who had been halfway through their meal, stopped eating. Hux took a small bite of bread immediately and they resumed. Then he set about removing his gloves, sorting his cutlery and putting his napkin in his lap, then moving plates around to his liking.

Poe gave that synchronized pause and resumption a perplexed look but no one explained it. Finn asked Hux, "Did you ever serve field duty?"

"Yes. On Lothal." He scraped away the sauce from the loaf as suggested.

"How did that go?"

"Badly. Roughly two-thirds the deployment did not survive. The rest … had injuries."

"Ew." Finn made a face. "You, too?"

"None made it out untouched, but I got off lightly. Luck. Not any special skill on my part. I was fresh out of the academy and didn't know my posterior from a hole in the ground. It was a bad mission from the start."

Finn chuckled. "Was that the only one? The only deployment you had?"

Hux raised a brow at him. "It was. My father had a fit about the whole thing and I was shuffled off to Lanson Down for a much safer assignment." Hux rolled his eyes. "I was so out of my mind bored that I began corresponding with people about weapon design, which eventually led to Starkiller Base."

"Oh." Finn's tone was flat.

"Oh?" Hux copied him.

Finn shrugged. "Even I heard … rumors, you know. About your dad and your career."

"Ah." Hux gave him a sour look. "Yes, favoritism. The rumors are true as far as that goes. But it is not true that I asked for it, preferred it, or benefited from it. My objections were behind closed doors, however. My father had to take the gloves off for that one and I ended up teaching children. Again. It was not the career path I would have chosen for myself. He passed away not long after that."

Finn frowned at him. "You know, I would have appreciated having a father who cared if I lived or died."

Hux's face creased with sincere, if chilly, amusement. "Then you should also know that I am my father's son in many ways. Some people are better off without their parents'  _care_  as a factor in their lives."

"How can that be to be better off alone in the world?" Finn asked. Hux stared at him with an odd expression, at once calculating, unguarded, penetrating, and avid. It was unblinking and cold in a reptilian way. Finn pulled his head back, having no idea what he just walked into. "Uh …" He gestured at Hux's plate, changing the subject. "Food good?"

"Yes." Hux shifted to something more human. "Thank you for the advice."

"I was surprised you took it," Finn said, shaking off the unsettled feeling. Poe beamed at the two of them. Finn asked, "What?"

"Well, look at that," Poe said cheerfully, having seen their interaction. "You two getting along even when you're talking about touchy stuff. I'm glad to see it."

"You told me to try," Finn said. "You haven't been wrong yet about people I needed to get to know."

Hux's eyes flitted between the two of them. Very quietly, he said, "I like to think he has exceptional judgment about people. I am constantly amazed by it."

Poe's happy smile warmed further. He tried to catch Hux's eye, but the man kept his head down. So Poe grinned at the small woman who sat next to Hux. She smiled back at him in a friendly way. Poe asked, "What's the name of your department, Eddiva?"

"The Interplanetary Diplomatic Corps."

Poe's smile turned mischievous. "What's the name of the espionage department?"

Hux's head came up then. He answered for her. "It's called the Espionage Department. Why?"

"You have one?" Poe's brows drew together a little. "Kylo said she was in charge of the spies and secret agents."

Hux scoffed. "What? Are you seriously going to tell me you'd rather believe a former supreme leader who was in a position to know and has nothing to lose by telling you everything, over  _me_ , who is honor-bound to lie to you about First Order secrets?"

Initially responding to Hux's offended tone, Poe opened his mouth before his brain caught up with what Hux had actually said. His mouth snapped shut. He cocked his head. "Honor-bound to lie to me?"

"My oath to the Order comes first," Hux said. "I will not foreswear myself, for reasons we discussed last night."

Poe stared off into the distance over Hux's head, thinking. Finn said, "He told you. You heard him, right?"

"Yeah, I heard him," Poe said, shaking his head and loading his fork. "I get it. Kylo was right."

Hux grunted. "Eddiva, make a note to dock Ren's pay. We can't have this go without consequence."

"Yes sir." Eddiva was utterly straight-faced about it, just as Hux was. But Poe snorted. Finn rolled his eyes.

Seated next to Poe, Kaydel said, "Wait – Kylo Ren is still on the First Order payroll?"

"He's lying," Poe tried to explain.

"I am not," Hux said crossly. "How dare you accuse me! He's being paid the same as he always was. But I'll see to that!"

Finn choked on the pasta dish he was eating.

Poe stared at Hux with wide eyes, then shook his head. "It's the tone that's getting me. Wow. If I did not know better, I would not be able to tell."

"Tell what? That I'm telling the truth? It is the truth!" He turned to Finn. "Finn. Poe trusts you. More than me, obviously, if he insists on calling me a liar in front of everyone. Is Kylo Ren drawing the same salary now that he was as the supreme leader?"

Finn was still coughing. He grinned and nodded because he couldn't speak yet.

"There." Hux gestured at Finn. "My point is proven." To Poe he said, "Your accusation is reprehensible."

Poe grinned. "You flirt in the funniest ways. I love it." Hux colored slightly, but the quick glance he shot Poe was not unappreciative.

Kaydel looked over at Finn and asked, "How would Finn know anything about Kylo's salary?"

"No one gets paid anything in the First Order," Poe tried to explain to her.

Kaydel gave him a doubting look. "That doesn't make sense."

Finn started making a choked noise again. Poe turned to him. "Are you alright? Seriously, buddy?" Finn nodded and covered his face. He was trying not to laugh out loud.

Hux said to Kaydel, "I know. A person would have to be mad to do such a difficult and thankless job if it wasn't well-rewarded. You know what I'm talking about, in the Resistance. There's no way to be disciplined without money involved."

Kaydel blinked at him. "We're volunteers." Her voice was uncertain, because Finn was still laughing and Poe had both hands up trying to interrupt. "We're not doing this for money."

"Volunteers!" Hux said. "That doesn't make sense. You can't tell me you believe in your cause enough to fight and die without even the promise of remuneration?"

Kaydel stared at him unhappily, knowing he was mocking her and not appreciating being the butt of it. It gave Poe the opportunity to say, "Okay, he's not exactly lying."

"Not exactly?" Hux objected.

Poe ignored him. "The First Order doesn't pay anyone a salary, not him, not even the supreme leader when they had one. That means Kylo is currently paid as much as he ever was - nothing. It's a joke."

"Our pay is a joke," Finn said quietly, having finally gotten himself under control.

Hux's lips quirked. "It's a very common one. Anyone in the Order would be familiar with it."

"You're all volunteers, also?" Kaydel asked.

"There's a little more nuance to it than that," Hux allowed, "but yes."

"Brainwashed slaves, more like," Finn said with distaste.

Hux shrugged off-handedly. "Where there's a will, there's a way."

Finn frowned. "Where there's a way, there's a will. Yeah, I remember." For the sake of the Resistance members at the table, he translated it: "If it can be done, someone is going to make you do it."

"And if someone wants it done," Hux said, copying the answering call-and-response into the vernacular Finn was using, "you'll find a way to do it."

Finn grimaced. "I'd rather not get into things that were programmed into my head subliminally by your psyops project. So tell me about Lothal. What happened?"

Hux was still in a good mood from the banter. He snorted softly. "You want a war story or an after action review?"

Finn put his elbows on the table and fists on his cheeks. "A war story."

"A war story?" Hux repeated, regarding Finn with amusement. He looked to Poe, who was listening, and at the others, who were similarly waiting to see what this request would produce. He sighed. "Very well. This particular story happened around fifteen years ago. As I said, I'd only just graduated. It was supposed to be very simple – three shuttles, three squads, some officers all newly commissioned – some of the first graduates from the new academy. Our mission was to guard a set of ore crawlers for the Mining Guild. They were extracting doonium on behalf of the First Order."

Hux folded his forearms over one another on the table in front of him, primarily directing his story to Finn. "Lothal had been the site of severe unrest between the Empire and the Rebellion, with the point of contention having been the extraction of resources similar to what the ore crawlers were doing. But that had been another fifteen years prior at the very end of the Empire. Ancient history by my standards at the time.

"I assumed – incorrectly as it turned out – that my superiors had researched the situation sufficiently, with an eye to any remaining Rebellion sympathizers. They had not. They instead accepted the reassurances of the Mining Guild that an agreement had been reached with the planetary government to allow their presence per the old Imperial contract. The governor affirmed this. That significant Rebellion elements with military-grade equipment were unwilling to abide by this was not discovered until it was too late.

"Our first five-day rotation was exactly the sort of boring operation we'd all been told to expect. We used the area around the crawlers as a practice ground, doing maneuvers, target practice, setting up campsites and debating the best use of the terrain. We even discussed survival scenarios or simulating guerilla activity just to stay sharp over the next few months of our assignment, but it never came to that. By the second rotation, the  _Avenger_ , which was functioning as our mother ship, had departed according to plan. Our presence was virtually ceremonial and at that point, entirely unsupported.

"They struck an hour or so before dawn. It was still entirely dark. If the night watch saw them coming, it wasn't soon enough to warn anyone. I woke when the shuttle that was in the air – because there was always one, that was protocol – was shot down and crashed near where I lay in my tent. All hands aboard were immediately lost, as were those less fortunate than I in sleeping location. We had not expected our enemies to have x-wings. We hadn't expected enemies at all beyond the odd vandal or protesting farmer."

Finn was listening raptly. The others were paying attention as well and eating quietly.

Hux continued, "As the wave of ships circled – and as you know, they're very maneuverable, this takes little time – we were throwing off our sleeping bags, grabbing our weapons, and getting upright. No time for armor, gear, or even much in the way of clothing if we'd been unwise enough to sleep in other than full outfit. We had a few guards in emplacements, but our best bet for retaliation was the shuttle armament. Of course, our enemies were aware of this as well. As they came back through, they tried to focus their fire on the two shuttles still on the ground, having less luck in that they destroyed neither outright. As I recall, the emplacement gunners managed to shoot down a single x-wing, which crashed unhelpfully into the ore crawler operating nearest our camp, disabling it.

"The shuttle I mustered to managed to take off, but it kept listing. It described a wide, spiraling arc while airborne, which meant it had difficulty in bringing its guns to bear. The other shuttle fared better. The third pass of the x-wings saw the both of us, as well as the ground emplacements, manage to thin out their number, but my shuttle took several hits. For whatever reason, the shields were not up. Have you ever been in a ship that had no shields?"

Finn shook his head. "Well, on Crait. But not like what I think you're talking about. I mean, nothing big enough to have holes shot through it."

"Yes," Hux nodded. "That's it exactly. Holes. One of the people I graduated with was in one of those holes. Or they were. Afterward, we had legs and a few other parts that give me nightmares to this day. The ship fell. Our pilot," Hux glanced over Poe, "Draxis, who I've mentioned to you before, did a superhuman job of managing the process. We would have all died if she had not. As it was, some of the remaining crew did not survive the crash and the ship was wrecked. Obviously, I was not among the fatalities. Corporal Draxis died shortly after … landing.

"At that point, the last few x-wings concentrated fire on the remaining shuttle for a single pass, and then fled when they were unable to similarly knock it from the sky. They probably did not know it, but they did enough damage that it was never going to fly again. It landed in good order with all crew alive, but it was grounded.

"So there we were. There was not a functioning communication system between the remains of three shuttles and the ore crawler we could get to. We had no vehicles that might allow us to quickly reach the other crawlers or a population center. Our medical resources were limited. Our supplies damaged. And our enemies knew our location. They would return. As the sun rose, we did our best to salvage what we could and retreated to the little cover afforded by the brushy trees in the area.

"In the evening, another wave of x-wings came through and destroyed the grounded shuttle. They also strafed the other ore crawlers further afield that we were obviously unable to protect now. Then they spotted our camp and decided on it as a more entertaining target. We had not been so bold as to fire upon them and draw attention, but that didn't matter. We suffered more losses before darkness closed in and they moved on. We, likewise, relocated. In the dark. After a full day of battle and exertion. Carrying the wounded and dragging our ground guns.

"It began to rain early the following day and to this we credited our survival. The x-wings did several flyovers, but they didn't see us through the gloom. We were miserably cold and what shelters we still had were not enough to protect all of us from the elements. We had water, but not much in the way of food. We discussed whether we should send a party to the downed shuttles to see what else we could scavenge, or to cobble together communications from the other ore crawlers. Given that was the obvious place our enemies would be waiting for us, we ultimately did neither."

"It was … several days," Hux swallowed uneasily, paling a little at the memory of that time, "before we were extracted. First we had to be noted as late for our rotation. Then determined to be unresponsive to attempted communication. Then efforts were made to find us, but we'd moved well clear of the ore crawler and concealed ourselves as much as possible. Once we were discovered, we were removed from the planet." He swallowed again. "And that … is the story of my first and last field deployment."

"That sounds horrific," Finn said after the silence indicated Hux was done.

"It was."

"What do you do after an assignment like that?" Finn asked. "I've never had one go sideways that much."

"You study how to wipe out entire planets, because obviously brokering deals with the legitimate government is insufficient. Assuming you have the free time, which I did once I was Downworld." Hux lifted his glass and took a sip. "You also harbor very long-term resentment against the Rebellion and any movements that look similar, and distrust the competency of those higher ranked than one's self." He raised his brows at Finn, who grimaced.

"I've never heard you tell that story," Eddiva said from next to him.

Hux looked to Eddiva. "Because I have never told it until now. Not in full, at least. So many in the Order insist my experience of warfare is entirely theoretical that speaking of it would sound like I was trying to aggrandize myself. As though talking about such an abject failure of a mission would do that! Days spent cowering in shrubbery without supplies was harder to take than the engagement itself, but watching people die of sepsis makes for a less interesting story than explosions and screaming."

Poe asked, "How many of you guys survived that? You said, what, two-thirds didn't make it?"

"We started with sixty people," Hux said. "Twenty-three left the planet alive. One died in transit. About a dozen of us were reasonably able-bodied at the end, myself among them."

Finn shook his head. "Makes me look back on my assignments and realize I had it good."

"Enough about it," Hux said with an annoyed wave. "What happened with you, though, after you left the  _Finalizer_? How did you end up on Takodana with General Solo?"

Finn looked upwards, thinking that over. "Okay … um, yeah, I can tell that. It's kind of a funny story, so maybe you'll enjoy it." He told about the escape with Poe, playing up their cockpit banter, then the grossness of the happabore beast he'd been forced to share water with once he made it to Niima Outpost. He glossed over his escape with Rey, but went back into detail when they were captured by Han's heavy freighter. In his version, the rathtars ate twice as many people as they had in reality and the hijinks were just as ridiculous. He wrapped up with them leaving on the Falcon. "We ended up on Takodana after that," he said. "You know the story from there."

"Ah, yes, we do," Hux nodded.

Eddiva said, "We spent a lot of effort and credits tracking him and that droid. To think what it all would have amounted to had he been eaten by a space monster and the droid wiped."

Poe chuckled. "Yeah, because that's totally what interplanetary diplomacy does – track people and spy on them." She gave him an amused smile. Poe leaned forward. "Tell me. What did Fuseb do?"

"I don't know who you're talking about," she told him.

Poe looked from her to everyone else, all of whom knew she was full of it. "Yeah, okay. Who do I believe, huh? You or my own lying eyes when you were sitting right next to each other for days on Naboo. Come on. Give me a better story than that!"

"He worked for Snoke," Hux said apologetically. "We hardly know the man."

Poe shook his head. "I'm not buying that either."

"Alright." Hux sighed dramatically. "Then I'll tell you. He was Snoke's other apprentice."

Poe's attention sharpened on him, as did Finn and Kaydel's. Poe said, "Snoke's …?"

"Ah." Hux gestured to direct Eddiva's attention to the three and said sotto voce, "See, they believe that one."

Poe shook his head again. "No, I don't. I just don't. Kylo would have mentioned something."

"He had to think about it," Eddiva said quietly. "And come up with a reason why it's not right."

"It always helps to have something a little outlandish in it." Hux had a pleased expression. "It makes them feel like they've been let in on a secret."

Poe sighed and rolled his eyes. "Alright. Fine. Kylo wouldn't tell me either."

"He wouldn't?" Hux said in a normal tone. "Eddiva, I was mistaken earlier. Restore that man's pay!"

"Yes sir."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes:
> 
> I had intended to tell Hux's deployment story as a stand-alone from his point of view as a younger man, but I struggled with how to frame it. I was disheartened to find a note from some canon source that Kylo Ren dismissed Hux in TFA because Hux's knowledge of warfare was entirely theoretical. I'm not sure if this was true or just a point of view thing for Kylo, so I fudged it here. Plus there was the extensive cast of original characters I would need to fabricate (and then kill off) in the course of the story. But I decided to have Hux tell about the major events here, glossing over the interpersonal struggles.
> 
> This is the same mission Hux references in the Pacification chapter General Hugs, where he held the hand of Corporal Draxis until she died. She'd been in command of the shuttle he was shot down in. He stayed in the wreckage until she passed away.
> 
> This is all somewhat at odds with the 'canon' as revealed in the book, Phasma, but that might be due to an unreliable narrator in that book. As much as possible, I have stuck with Wookieepedia and filled in the blanks from there.


	13. Life Stories

Poe sat on the edge of his bed, kissing along the back of Hux's hand and up his bare forearm. He was supposed to be giving a massage, but the sight of all that bare skin and Hux still wearing Poe's ring over his heart had made him stop. Before the man could lie down, Poe had to lay his lips on him a few times. Hux would be leaving in the morning.

Hux sighed. "I love you." He took the corner of the undershirt he was holding in his other hand, having just taken it off, and dabbed it at the spots where Poe had kissed him. Poe lifted his head, giving that action a 'really?' look. His lips had been dry. It wasn't like he'd slobbered on the guy or sucked on him. He let go of Hux's forearm and came back to sitting, a little frown on his face.

Hux took his chin with the now-free, previously-kissed-on hand and with the other, brushed at Poe's lips. Poe's brows were still quirked up, now softening into amusement because getting offended seemed stupid when Hux had prefaced it with telling him he loved him. Hux was awfully close to him now, intent on wiping Poe's mouth for whatever reason. There was something about Hux's expression. Maybe it was the slight part of his lips that told Poe something was up – this odd fussing was nerves. Poe's eyes only had a half-second to widen before Hux leaned in and pressed his lips to Poe's.

Poe froze. His eyes finished widening. All Hux did was press lightly, then lean away a few inches. Poe blinked at him. Hux leaned back further, sitting normally now. He looked thoughtful.

"Uh," Poe swallowed, "did you like it?" Hux had kissed him on the forehead once before and now on the lips.

"I'm not sure." Hux colored slightly.

"Try it again," Poe said breathlessly.

Hux looked into his eyes intently, a little wary. Then he raised a hand and slid it along Poe's cheek to cup it, fingertips near his ear. He dropped the shirt in his lap and used his other hand to touch the opposite side of Poe's chin, holding him in place. He leaned in and repeated, moving his lips just slightly and taking longer at it. But the moment Poe moved his lips in response, Hux stiffened and pulled away. "That's … enough." He dropped his hands from Poe's face.

Poe sagged and breathed out heavily, his mouth shaping into a broad grin. "Hugs," he said simply.

Hux wiped his own mouth with the undershirt, sneaking a quick look at Poe's lips. Hux remained somewhat pink.

"Can I kiss you?" Poe asked abruptly. "On the lips? I know it's more pushy than I usually am, but please? I won't do anything but what you did. Okay?"

Hux remained wary, but nodded once. Poe swallowed, resisted the urge to lick his lips, and leaned in with his hand on one of Hux's shoulders and the other on his knee. He tilted his head and made one flex of his lips over Hux's, feeling the man twitch under his hands. But Hux didn't pull away. Poe did, keeping it short, no more than one small smooch.

"Thank you," Poe said sincerely. "You are wonderful." He moved his hands up slowly and fluffed them through Hux's hair, coaxing him forward for a scalp massage. "You are more relentlessly open-minded than most of the hedonists I've been with. Always trying new things. Look at that. This is exciting. Took my breath away. Wow."

Hux made a noisy, pleased sigh as his shoulders relaxed and his head tipped further. "You're making a lot out of nothing."

"Hey, I think this is big," Poe said, rubbing with his fingertips. "Let me give you all the positive reinforcement I can for this. That was great."

"Yours was better," Hux said. "Your kiss. It felt better."

"Oh, well," Poe said airily, "all you need is more practice. I'd be happy to help you out. Anytime, Hugs. Anytime."

Hux touched his side briefly. "It wasn't bad. I would like to have the massage now."

Poe withdrew his hands and reached for the massage oil. "Yeah, go ahead." He turned on the bed sideways, smoothing the oil across Hux's skin once he was face-down. "I'm going to go light at first here. I'm climb on later for better pressure. Should I take it from you backing off and lying down that you'd rather I went on to something else than keep talking about how awesome it was to have your lips on mine?" Poe grinned at him, although Hux couldn't see it. He could hear it in Poe's voice, though.

"Yes, please," Hux said, muffled by the bed. He sounded embarrassed.

Poe set aside the oil. He had enough now. Maybe too much. He started spreading it. "You want me to be quiet and do this, or talk and do this?"

"Talking's fine." Hux sighed comfortably, turning his face so it wasn't hidden in the mattress. It was still pink, but fading now. "I have come to enjoy the sound of your voice directed at myself. And the way you listen to what I have to say. Poe."

"Hm?"

"Poe Dameron."

"Are you just saying my name?"

"Yes."

Poe chuckled. "Okay. As a topic of conversation, though, do you want to tell me about how things are going for the government? Or I could talk about the problems we had with Kanjiklub. Or you could answer some nagging personal questions I'm dying to ask you. Or I could tell you a war story or two. Pick a thing. Or make up your own."

Hux chuckled. "What personal questions are you dying to ask? This room is shielded, right? No recording devices? I should have asked last night."

"None of those," Poe assured him. "BB-8 is the only danger on that and you didn't want the droids in here, so they aren't in here. You said you were your father's son. What'd you mean by that?"

"Brendol Hux. I see a lot of his characteristics in me. Ruthlessness. Ambition. Greed. Practicality. Insensitivity. Callousness. The sadism and the love of power. I was trying to tell Finn that the traits my father instilled in me are the same ones Finn was condemning the day before. Fortunately, I avoided getting his outright sociopathy, to which I assume I should credit my mother."

"Who was she? Your file didn't even have a name. Was she on Arkanis, part of those memories you can't … remember?" Poe put a hand on the small of Hux's back. "I'm going to climb on."

Hux sighed and shifted on the bed, then lay still as Poe sat on his rear end. Hux turned his head to look over his shoulder and up at him for a moment before relaxing against the mattress again. "I was told she was a kitchen worker at the academy, but I have no memory of her. I remember … missing her. I remember being punished for being too obvious about my feelings about her. But I don't remember her, herself.

"I assume from my coloration that she was blonde, as my hair is orange and my father's was a darker red. I assume she was pale as I am, what you have called 'pasty', but I prefer it to my father's ruddy complexion. He always looked flushed with anger. I might blush easily and show bruises, but at least I didn't look like he did. She must have been fine-featured, as he is coarse. All suppositions, though. I'm not a geneticist."

"You've thought about her a lot." Poe got started rubbing more firmly, sticking to shoulders, upper and middle back, avoiding lower except for a few light strokes. "I lost my mother young, too. But at least I remember her."

"Shara Bey. This is her ring I wear?"

"Yeah."

"The symbol of your parent's matrimony, whereas I was the symbol of my parent's lack."

Poe put his hands on the mattress on either side of Hux's head and leaned forward to bring his head down. Hux looked back at him. Poe kissed his cheek. "I love you. I'm sorry I ever made fun of you for that. It was really petty of me."

Hux smiled softly. "Nothing to be sorry about as long as you don't keep saying it."

"Nope. No danger of that." Poe sat back up and continued with the massage. "You grew up alone with your father?"

Hux snorted. "Hardly. I don't remember Arkanis, but I remember leaving it. I remember Jakku and … my childhood was not a happy one. You know that, right?" He looked back at Poe, giving him a rueful smile.

"Tell me about it."

Hux's butt jerked with an abbreviated laugh. "Well. Hm. While on Jakku, my father trained some of the more promising children he had acquired. He taught them how to fight and kill, mostly, but also how to use and maintain weapons, drive speeders, some basic tactics, medical and survival skills. He was at it for a few months. I stayed away from him as much as I could. When I couldn't, he tended to use me as a target for their practice. I was useless to him for anything else.

"Then Rax put me in charge of them. Every one of those children was larger than I, older, had participated in killing if they hadn't done it themselves, and had seen my father parade me around as a victim. Rax left me to figure out how to get them to follow my orders and not get myself killed in the process. I have no idea how he expected that to play out, but I soon found they were more than willing to use my words as an excuse to turn on one another, something my father had forbidden."

"How old were you?"

"I don't know. Six perhaps? When my father found out, he beat me. He beat a few of the child soldiers who had the idea of interfering. Then I bit a chunk out of his leg." Hux was giggling now. He pulled in his arms so they were folded under him. "I'm not sure what happened after that. I woke in the medbay. Once I was back on my feet, he found me again. He was more careful that time – no help for me!"

Hux's enthusiasm was bizarre. The chortling was at odds with the way his muscles were bunched. "And … ha ha, I recuperated in my bunk. That went on for a bit until Sloane noticed. She and I brokered a deal. She'd keep him off me and I'd keep his soldiers off her. It worked well enough."

Poe dismounted. The effort to drive out tension in Hux's back had been a failure. The guy was tenser now than he'd been at the start. Poe decided to work smaller, lifting one arm and beginning to work down it towards his hand. "Really? Your father? Kriff, Hugs." Poe's face was concerned, but it shed new light to the matter-of-fact attitude Hux had had later on when Poe asked about the bruises left by Snoke and/or Kylo.

Hux turned on his side to better see his audience. He had a bitter, mirthless smile on his face. "We went around on various starships as my father and others were putting together the First Order. My little squad lost a few members. We went through a few standard Imperial educational modules until my father caught wind of it. We didn't need to be literate for what he wanted out of us, so of course we began cramming in lessons every chance we had." He chuckled again. "I spent years dodging his backhand while vacillating between killing ex-Imperial officers my father disliked and absorbing every particle of advanced scholarship I could get my hands on."

Poe switched arms. "You killed people? When you were, what, ten?"

"Younger than that," Hux said dismissively. "I think the first person I killed myself was a girl when I was eight. She was about our age and threatening to tell that we were skulking in a storage room waiting for our target to pass. I have no idea who she was. I hit her with a sap and we spaced her later along with our target." He looked amused by the memory.

Poe's brows rose and his hands stopped.

Hux looked at him. The smile faded to nothingness. "You do know who you're in bed with, right?"

"I do now." Poe's expression was grave. The enormity of Hux's childhood was hitting him hard. At eight, Poe had been mourning his mother's death with the loving support of his extended family, vowing to continue learning to fly as she'd taught him, holding his father's hand and listening as his father read him the condolence letter General Organa had sent to him personally. He'd spent his days learning moral lessons while tending the uneti tree Luke Skywalker had planted next to their house and … he had not been spacing little girls for getting in the way of an assassination.

Hux's expression resolutely shifted to a sober, resigned look. "And?"

Poe swallowed and wrapped his hands around Hux's forearm as though Hux might try to pull away from him. Hux had not, so far. He was very still. Poe looked down at the arm and traced one of the dim stains from the scabbard Hux usually wore. He struggled to find the right words. "You took off the knife along with your shirt ..."

"It's over there now," Hux lifted his chin slightly. His voice was tense but clear. "Out of my reach. I won't use it on you no matter what you say." His nose wrinkled for a half second. "My past is not going away. If you want me to leave, please say so." Hux looked away. "I can return to the  _Finalizer_  and we'll … go on with our lives apart. I have made a mistake-" His voice at the end was a choked mutter.

"No! Hey." Poe gripped harder. "Stop it. Hux." Poe chewed his lips for a moment. "I don't know how to say what I need to say here. I can hear you getting upset. I can see it. I'm sorry. It's okay between us, got it? It's just … I didn't realize what had, the depths, I mean, your childhood. No, I hadn't realized that. But I do now, sort of. I mean, a little." He took a deep breath and rubbed the arm he was still holding. "I don't know what I was saying with the knife, just that you put that aside because things are different and you don't need it with me …" Poe trailed off. He bit his lip again. "I'm not making any sense, am I?"

"You are. Continue." Hux was watching him with a steady, concerned, and calculating look.

Poe breathed out and said, "That was a lot to take in. How did you get through that? I'm just having all these," he released Hux with one hand (but not both) to make a circular motion over his chest, "feelings, you know? Because I care about you. And you're … flippant about it, which you can be. That's totally okay. It happened to you. You can be whatever. But I'm listening to someone I love talk about horrible things that happened to them and," he heaved a deep breath, "I don't know how to deal with it."

"Maybe the rest of this story should be kept for a different time." Hux turned his hand and reached over with his free one to cradle the one of Poe's that still clung to him tightly. His fingertips probed lightly at where Poe held him.

"No," Poe insisted. "I'd like to know. What happened after that? Did you stay on spaceships? You told me once that you herded nerfs somewhere and stole ice cream when it was hot outside. I thought you must have grown up on a ranch out in the country. Not leading a murder squad when you were eight!"

Hux smiled sadly. "I know it's ridiculous, Poe. But I'm not lying to you. All of this happened. Why do you think my friends are Tritt Opan and Phasma, among other similar persons? They're killers as I am. I thought you knew that." His last sentence came out positively heart-breaking.

Poe felt like he'd been stabbed in the heart. He didn't know what to do but hold on firmly enough to smother the tremble he could feel in the man's hands and nod stupidly as he said things that weren't true but he wanted them to be. "I know. I do know. It's fine. Tell me the rest."

Hux studied him, then eased back somewhat. "Release me and I will. My hand is going numb." His voice was normal enough now.

Poe grimaced and let go. "Sorry," he muttered, but his next statement was half a command. "I don't want you going anywhere."

"I won't."

Poe exhaled heavily and nodded.

Hux curled inward, folding his hands in front of himself as though to protect them from being seized again and held hostage. But he continued after only a moment. "Around the time I was ten or eleven, we moved to Lanson Down. My father had made arrangements for shipments of children who would be enrolled in the new academy he was going to build. He had a prefabricated base delivered. It was near the ocean. There was a farm. Nerfs. A landing area. Hangars. Outbuildings. Staff. Supplies, including, at times, ice cream. Everything he felt he needed. He modeled it off the one he'd been commandant of on Arkanis.

"Myself and my squad were put in charge of the younglings when they came in. We acted as class leaders or prefects. That went on for a few years. I think I was around fourteen when he started a program that was initially called a finishing school, but later became the academy proper. It's the officer's version of what you saw for troopers. The site's still in use, but most officer training is conducted on ships now to keep them separate from the troops. It was evacuated when the insurrection occurred some six months ago so your group never dealt with them. They're back in operation now."

Poe nodded. Hux's tone was like a quiet lecture and not the more natural telling it had been before. "You're just telling me this because I insisted. You're sanitizing the hell out of this for me, aren't you?"

"A lie of omission or misdirection has always struck me as more honorable than an overt one."

Poe nodded again, to himself this time. He rubbed his forehead. "How do I tell you that you don't have to tell this to me while still letting you know that I really want to know it?"

"I'm under no compulsion, Poe. I'm telling you because I want to  _and_  because you insisted."

"Okay. Then don't sanitize it."

"The details aren't important anyway," Hux shrugged, but he unwound a little. "The finishing school consolidated my small group with a mass of students who had trained on the  _Absolution_  in a formal, Imperial-approved program for aspiring officers. Their skills and mine were a mismatch, their values different, their accent – remember I had spent the previous ten years in the company of urchins from Jakku and newly harvested slaves – there was no fitting in, although I tried desperately. I made it out alive, with only three more deaths and one blinding behind me – so there, unsanitized.

"I graduated and was deployed to Lothal, as I described at lunch. My father was already in a tenuous position due to the high loss rate and poor performance from his graduates, so the disaster of the Lothal mission reflected even worse on him. His solution was to double-down and for that he required my help. Our disagreement concerning my career was the last time he laid hands on me."

Poe shut his eyes briefly and sighed. "How old were you? Twenty? A grown man and he was still assaulting you? And let me be clear – I'm not critical of you here, but him. Not that it's right at any age. I just-" Poe grimaced, baring his teeth for a moment and then pursing his lips over them as he tried to calm down again.

"Eighteen or nineteen. I'm unclear on my age, but yes, I was an adult by all measures."

"When was-" Poe caught himself. "You don't know when your birthday is, do you?" Hux shook his head. "Do you have a day you observe it anyway?"

Hux's brows drew together. "That's a silly idea. No." He shook his head again.

Poe huffed. "What about Finn? Does anyone in the First Order celebrate birthdays?"

"Most officers do, privately. Most of them know and have family."

Poe nodded, making a mental note to get with Rose and figure out how to have a birthday party for Finn (and maybe Armitage, but Poe would do that himself after he thought about it). "Go on with the story."

"I went back to Lanson and re-evaluated the training programs. My father's methods included chronic underfeeding and encouragement of lethal competition to winnow out the weak and foster aggression. I know what he was aiming for, but I couldn't find any proof it was working.

"The strength of character and resilience he was looking for showed up just as often in those who were well-fed as those who were half-starved, and the ones who'd had enough to eat were physically stronger as well. These days, we produce troopers built like Finn – muscular, robust, mentally balanced, and minimally traumatized. It wasn't that way before."

"All that weird stuff about food," Poe mused bitterly. "Because you've been systematically starved."

"I am certain we get enough to eat," Hux said with a stiff defensiveness. "I've had it carefully researched. It's individualized and adjusted every six months, or monthly if requested and testing validates the request."

"Yes," Poe agreed. "Now. But you don't end up with a system that regimented unless it's coming from something. Some guy in charge of your training program like that effects  _everybody_  down the line. Ten years of people passed through there … deliberately malnourished and set against each other like animals used for pit fighting." Poe sighed. "Your father was a piece of work. I don't like to say this about people, but I'm glad to hear he died."

"Are you sure you want the uncensored truth?"

"Yes," Poe said.

"I had him killed."

Poe froze for a long moment, then swallowed. He supposed he should have seen that coming. "Uh … kay."

Hux closed his eyes and turned his face to the mattress, face-down on it. "It smells like both of us now. And the massage oil."

Poe scooted closer and started rubbing Hux's shoulder. "You don't have to change the subject. You don't have to hide your face. You know what? Good. He deserved it. You did right. You made things better for a lot of people who didn't deserve what he was doing to them."

Hux looked up at him with big eyes and for a moment, Poe thought he might be going to cry. Then Hux blinked a few times, took a deep breath, and went back to rubbing his face on the mattress.

Poe patted Hux's back. He looked at the man's thin frame and wondered what he'd have looked like had he just gotten enough damn food as a child. ' _Skinny guy, kind of pasty_ ' came back to him. "You're a really forgiving man, Hugs. But you didn't have to forgive him. I'm here for whatever you need."

"I might as well finish," Hux said, turning on his side again so he could see Poe. "My father passed away when I was twenty or so. Since I was the best informed about the training program, I stayed on at the Downs for the next five or six years. I was free during that time. Free to do whatever I wanted. I put my energy into improving the training program. In the process I investigated past programs for the clones and the Jedi. They were my father's inspirations. It was from the Jedi records that I stumbled across kyber crystals, which led to the initial designs for the Starkiller.

"Then Sloane disappeared and Thrawn shortly thereafter. I'd been working closely with them, so when I was summoned to a private audience with Snoke, I assumed it had something to do with that. He'd become supreme leader through machinations of the High Command I had paid no attention to, happily buried in my private projects as I was. I discovered … I was wrong. Very wrong. About many things." Hux stared at the rumpled blanket between them, eyes slowly tracking the curves. The expressions bled off his face, leaving it empty.

"He gave me a new mission to make Starkiller a reality. During his tenure, I was frequently called to serve first as a mouthpiece and eventually as his foremost general, mainly because his other servants proved incapable of enduring it. There is no comparison between my father and Snoke. They were different creatures. My father betrayed me. Snoke … defiled me. I don't know how else to describe it."

Poe swallowed, bothered by how vacant Hux looked. "I've had my mind read by force. I think I know what you're talking about, at least a little."

Hux nodded, his eyes flicking up to Poe's. "You ache inside and hate your very being when he's done. And then he laughs. But I am as I am no matter what. Only me, occupying my mind and body."

"And me with you." Poe breathed out a long sigh, stretched himself out next to Hux, and gathered him up in his arms. He rolled on his back and pulled Hux on top of him. Hux raised himself stiffly and gave Poe a narrow-eyed look of warning. But at least it wasn't vacant. Poe released his grip, holding his arms up and to the sides like a surrender, but Poe was on his back. Hux slid off, but laid next to him, resting his head on Poe's chest and shoulder. Poe tucked him against his side with the arm around Hux's back.

Poe said, "This stuff was nowhere in the file I saw. I mean, broad strokes about when you graduated, went to Lothal, were on Lanson – yeah. But none of the rest."

Hux made a very soft snort. "There's no list of my father's assassination victims or confessions to academy killings in the full version, either. Almost everything I've told you is off the record."

"I know you told me the happiest time in your childhood was getting that ice cream, but I didn't even begin to wrap my head around what that meant. Or could mean. And I knew …" Poe shook his head. "Hux, you're doing fantastic dealing with things. Emotions. Disagreements. I mean, yeah, you intellectualize the hell out of everything, but you kissed me earlier and you've said yes to marrying me and you're telling me your life story and being friendly with Finn and telling jokes and …" He sighed again, hugging Hux more firmly. "I love you."

Hux didn't say anything, so Poe babbled on, "I told Finn back on Naboo that you struck me as really strong-willed. I just had this sense." He chuckled suddenly. "I also had no sense at all of how dangerous you were. I mean, you could have just … Oh, buddy. Hugs. I went to that shuttle with you on Naboo, with your guards outside, with you with a knife and me with nothing, and I …"

Quietly, Hux said, "You never treated me like I was a rabid cur who might slit your throat at any moment. And so I never acted like one. Please don't change that."

Poe gave him another squeeze. "No! Kriff, no. Stars. I won't. I love you. You have been so patient with me. I have never felt threatened by you other than when you woke up out of a nightmare and didn't know what the hell was going on. That's completely understandable and-"

Hux reached up and put his finger briefly over Poe's lips. He lifted himself a little to look at Poe. "Thank you. I would like to lie quietly with you until I fall asleep. May we do that?"

"Of course. You've had a long day and this has been a lot to go over. Yeah. I wasn't thinking." Poe rose and adjusted the covers while Hux changed into pajamas. Then Poe did the same as Hux climbed in bed. Poe joined him, facing him at first. He didn't have to ask or suggest before Hux did what Poe had been hoping for – a single, chaste goodnight kiss. Poe rolled over then and let Hux settle in behind him, holding him.

Poe wanted to sleep. He usually had no trouble dropping off, but his brain was too busy trying to reconcile the stuffy, dandyish, uptight, bombastic persona he knew as Armitage Hux with a viciously feral child who lurked in starship storage rooms with his gang and clubbed people who got in the way of carrying out his father's political assassinations. Hux had implied he'd grown up using a Jakku accent. As far as Poe knew, he hadn't spent much time with Rey, but what did it mean to Hux when he did? What did he see when he looked at another dangerous orphan scavenger from Jakku? Was that part of why he'd accepted Kylo's pairing?

What sort of rumors developed about Armitage's past when he'd spent his childhood that way? Surely the children of older staffers who had gone to the academy with him had carried tales back to their parents. Apparently, they had consisted of favoritism and nepotism. Maybe it had seemed like that to them – seeing a thin, wiry teenager already dismissively confident of his ability to remove people permanently from his path, yet still under his father's thumb, following his orders.

Had his father been proud of him for those three deaths and a blinding at the academy, or had he been enraged that Armitage was contributing to growing problems with other officers when their children ended up dead at the hands of Brendol's son? Had they even known? Surely it had been written off as an accident. There was nothing in Armitage's record to indicate disciplinary problems.

Uneven education, mostly self-directed. Armitage had dropped the accent. He'd implied he'd done so at the academy in an effort to fit in. He'd  _wanted_  to fit in. Poe could imagine an angsty teen realizing the adventures of the preceding ten years had left him utterly unprepared for how to socialize with his peers, feeling a desire to, yet also disdain. So he went to the other extreme – the Imperial accent, the outfits, the mannerisms, the bearing and poise of a hardline officer of the Empire. But it must have looked so odd on a young man. They still laughed at him. It still stung.

It made for the sort of person Snoke could look at and knew he'd willingly destroy the Hosnian system. He wouldn't argue about morality any more than he'd changed the nutritional allotments for the troopers based on humanity. He'd done it because his father's system was ineffective. His father enjoyed harming people and making them cold and hard, seeing them hungry and desperate. Armitage hadn't seen the point, because sadist or not, he didn't get off on that. As he was indeed his father's son, having inherited Brendol's ruthlessness, he eventually eliminated his father from the picture. Just as he later eliminated the New Republic on Hosnian Prime. It was all of a theme.

Poe remembered the way Hux had trembled under his hands when he'd touched him in the shuttle on Naboo, concerned about what people would say and utterly unfamiliar with being given pleasure. Nowhere in his story had been a partner, a confidant, or a lover. His friends were the same dangerous, maladjusted sorts as himself. There had been his squad, but he'd characterized them as older, more hardened, assigned elsewhere, some of them had been 'lost' (died?), and then he spoke of them no more as though they had become unimportant. Holding Corporal Draxis' hand might have been the first time Armitage did something humane for someone.

Thinking about hand-holding, Poe slid his thumb slowly up and down the back of Hux's hand where he held it. Hux briefly tightened his forearm against Poe's side. "You're not asleep," Poe whispered.

"No."

"I'm thinking about how all this fits together. You?"

"Mm. I've calmed myself. Finn wanted me to kill Phasma for him. My current thoughts are on that and the implications of it."

"What?"

"I talked him out of it."

"That's what he was talking to you about earlier?" Poe turned a little, looking back. He felt betrayed by Finn. Good guys, heroes, didn't do that sort of thing. "He was trying to arrange a … a murder? You're serious?"

"He wanted me to have her executed, yes. He had information I'm not going to bother to attempt to verify to point me in that direction." Hux nudged Poe back into facing away. "She had a worse childhood than I did," he chuckled. "Not that it makes the slightest difference. It's amusing to me he wants to strike back like anyone else. Obviously, he imagines he's safe enough to do so from here. He has no idea what he's tangling with. And coming to me of all people. It's naïve."

"Uh … yeah. What are you going to do?"

"Keep an eye on their relative assignments. She wants a groundside placement on a core world. I'm not sure what he wants. Do you know?" Poe shook his head. "Find out if you can. It would be best to keep them far apart. I intend to give her what she's asked for."

Poe nodded, finally starting to feel drowsy. "You really want what I have to give you?"

"Yes." Hux pressed his forehead to the back of Poe's. "I have come to live for our times together."

Poe sighed. "Armitage Hux."

"Hm?"

"We're going to make it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes:
> 
> Historical evidence and scientific experiments based on humans and animals shows that high stress, highly competitive environments, especially when coupled with limited food and harsh conditions never result in superior performance or the forced evolution of individuals or groups who are superior to those raised in 'better' conditions. Additionally, social stress and emotional abuse does not improve performance of any kind. There is also evidence that social stress and emotional abuse increases dysfunctions one's descendants.
> 
> On the other hand, simulation training has been shown to increase performance, whether we're talking about race horses or police officers.
> 
> Wookieepedia and the Phasma book imply that Brendol Hux's harsh methods in combination with simulations resulted in improved performance in troopers. I reject this. Canon or not, in my stories, mistreating people does not make them perform better. Brendol told people it improved performance, but Armitage found proof to the contrary and eliminated his father from the program (for that and other reasons).


	14. In-Law

It was still novel for Hux to wake next to someone. Poe's breathing was regular and relaxed, his features slack and vulnerable. Hux watched him for a few moments, taking in the mussed hair, the hairs of one eyebrow brushed somewhat upward instead of along the direction of the brow, beard stubble clearly visible after only a day. He was a good-looking man as such things went. Hux had been interested to realize he was beginning to notice that, much the same way he enjoyed hearing Poe's voice and had begun to look forward to gestalt experience of his presence.

It meant he did silly things like lie in bed and waste valuable waking time just looking at Poe rather than getting up and doing something productive. He laid there for a bit longer, trying to draw parallels between this and the programming for loyalty his father had sought to institute. Was there something subliminal about being next to someone and feeling safe with them? Was that what engendered the tender feelings and a sense of devotion?

His father had always had an excellent instinct for how to intimidate and subordinate people. Armitage had trusted in that as a program component and left it alone. He himself had possessed no natural charisma or confidence to supplant it. People followed him because it was smart and required, not because they liked him. They would never have the loyalty to him that Hux had seen so easily displayed toward others, like to his father.

And then there was Poe. He sighed. He had no idea how to secure Poe's loyalty, but was it possible he did so merely by being with him? He had immediately dismissed violence and domination as a tactic. Yet there was no chain of command and he had little to offer in the way of incentive. He never had. Then again, the Resistance was a volunteer operation. So was, in a way, the First Order. Maybe Poe loved him out of principle and all he needed to do was continue being himself and that would be good enough?

Hux carefully climbed out of bed and began his morning routine. If 'being himself' was part of it, then he might as well get on with it. He'd spent enough time staring, after all. He still wanted to think of it as a waste of time … but it wasn't and he didn't. He just wanted to.

Despite his attempt at stealth, Poe stirred as he left. By the time Hux returned from the toilet and took up a position at the sink, Poe was sitting on the edge of the bed. Poe asked, "How am I going to introduce you to my dad?"

Yes, if they were going to live on Yavin IV, in or near the family home, then at some point he'd need to meet the family. Hopefully, they were similar in character to Poe. Poe's parents were part of Poe's general profile, but Hux hadn't looked at them all that closely. "Before or after the wedding?" Hux opened the kit he'd brought with him and got out his grooming supplies.

"Before, I hope."

"As Armitage Hux, your fiancé, then. No other title is necessary between family members." He was being intentionally obtuse to pretend this was just a question of proper address and not a delicate matter of gaining approval and acceptance.

"That's not what I mean." Poe came over to lean against the sink, facing away but right next to him. His arms were crossed. It made it a little crowded, but Hux didn't mind. It was familiar – not in the sense that he was used to it, but in the sense of family and feeling safe in proximity, as though any inadvertent touches were harmless, no more than comforting reminders that this was an ally. Or more than that.

Hux asked, "Do you need his blessing for marriage? I suppose I should do some research on the marriage customs of Yavin IV. Are those the ones that apply or do you hail from some other tradition?"

"Yeah, those are fine, but no, I don't need his blessing. I just want it."

Hux nodded, staring into the mirror as he worked on removing the day's worth of light-colored bristle. "You are concerned that your Rebellion-affiliated family will not approve of your relationship with the leader of the organization that is heir-apparent to the Empire which they fought against?" That was the crux of it, after all. He'd seen the service records of Kes Dameron and Shara Bey. Hux didn't expect anything but hatred, disgust, and disdain, but this was obviously going to cause a dilemma for Poe. He still wasn't sure how he'd gained Poe's approval. He had no idea how to gain Poe's father's. He hadn't even met the man.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, that's about it." Poe nodded, looking troubled. "I don't know why I hadn't thought about that before. I'd just thought, you know, he'd be happy for me."

"Maybe he will be." Hux washed his implements. "Tell him the truth. You seduced me and your wiles were so complete that I engineered the dissolution of the First Order just so I could be with you." Brendol might have fallen for that – the idea that he was a hopeless love-slave willing to do anything for his partner. Hux grimaced. It was true. He supposed he should think of it as 'unfortunately true', but he couldn't. He washed his freshly shaven face.

Poe smiled and blushed. It lit up his face. Hux looked at him and smiled in return because it was warming to be responsible for such an expression on someone's face.

"Truly," Hux said, "I am pleased you're thinking of how our future will work, especially after the discussion last night. I know I seem to ask this endlessly, but trust me that I never tire of your answer – are you still willing to be with me? My story seemed to give you such pause last night, but I pushed on because I wish to be as plain as possible about what you are getting."

"Who," Poe said. "Who I'm getting. You're not a thing. And yes, I want you. I wanted to hear your story, too. It helps me understand you better. That's why I'm thinking about how to work this out with my dad. Because I think it  _can_  work."

Hux sighed and studied Poe's face. Poe's gaze in return was steady and sober, a rational dependability that was so intense and unwarranted that Hux looked away, swallowing. He set about taking off his pajamas in preparation for showering. He'd said all of that and Poe didn't see him as a victim or a weakling? Or evil in whatever irredeemable way the Republic wanted to see it? "Have you yet told him you're seeing anyone?"

"No. I really ought to. But the very next question will be 'who', so … I haven't."

Poe was ashamed of him. That was unsurprising. And rather than being upsetting, Hux found it comforting. He could do something about that. He could address it instead of feeling overexposed by Poe's confidence in him. Speaking of exposure, he noticed the way Poe's eyes roamed up and down him, as they did without fail every time Hux disrobed. Poe certainly had none of the First Order compunctions against inappropriately lingering looks. That was more pleasing than it should be.

Hux faced Poe's wandering eyes and reached up with his thumb to straighten the man's still-wayward brow hairs. "Let me put together a message to him to introduce myself. I'll send it to you. You can pass it along if you're willing and send it back to me for revision if you are not."

Poe gave him a tight smile. "You don't have to do that."

"I know I don't have a good record with families, but I'm not blind to what they mean to people. This," Hux touched the ring Poe had given him, it now being the only thing he was wearing, "belonged to the woman he loved. Do you want me to have a good relationship with him?"

"Yes! Yes, of course." Poe nodded in emphasis.

Hux smiled briefly at how default Poe assumed that family meant they should like each other. Hux knew that was the societal expectation. But, also, that it worked just fine when family ties meant nothing. He had often envied the stormtroopers – cut off from their past and free to be what they were capable of without someone taking too personal an interest in them and projecting impossible, contradictory expectations on them. Their lives were simple and structured in a way Hux's never had been.

"Then I will attempt to do so," Hux said. "The start of that is me reaching out to him. Not you making excuses for me. Not him putting himself out. This is basic diplomacy. I have an entire team who will assist in me in crafting the right message. I am sure they will be as inappropriately delighted to play matchmaker as they have been so far."

A tight, embarrassed smile creased Poe's face. "Eddiva? Those people?"

"Of course," Hux chuckled, turning to the shower. "All my social skills are the result of following the advice of others better equipped than I. I have no natural talent for it. I'm sure you've seen that." He paused and turned back to cup Poe's cheek, looking into his face. "Just as what I do with you is only me copying what you've shown me." Poe blinked at him in a sort of surprise, as though he hadn't realized the role model in Hux's behavior was Poe himself.

He was the only role model Hux had for this, aside from small glimpses of the personal lives of other officers. He'd never paid attention to them before being with Poe, but lately he found his thoughts drifting to those domestic snippets more often than before. There was something about it that trumped the fantasy of life as an anonymous stormtrooper. He stepped into the shower, leaving Poe standing there at the sink, looking a little shaken.

* * *

"Kes Dameron. My name is Armitage Hux. I am sending this to you out of respect for the role you have played in the life of Poe Dameron." He spoke slowly, sincerely, and clearly as instructed by his coaches. They promised him this was the best approach. "He is the general leading the Resistance and his kindness toward me has played no small part in my efforts to dismantle the First Order and leave it behind … to be with him."

Hux pursed his lips slightly. "I don't know you. You don't know me. But I am sure that if you allow me the opportunity to meet you, I will see echoes of the man I love in everything you say and do. I assume you know me by reputation. I am sorry for the terrible image that must have given you of me, but not as sorry as I am to tell you most of it is true." His brief smile was apologetic and rueful.

"The other day, I overheard one of Poe's associates say that Poe had never led him astray in his judgment of people. I was deeply flattered and very moved." Hux touched his chest. "I have no small degree of insecurity that one of these days Poe will realize he is wrong about me. I do my utmost to make sure that day is as far away as possible. But for the time being, he has asked me to marry him and I have agreed." He put both hands on his knees and leaned forward slightly. "Part of that means doing my best to deal with the people in his life who are important to him, such as yourself.

"My own relationship with my father, who passed away some years ago, was poor. I've never known any family but him. I want to do everything possible to avoid complicating Poe's relationship with you. Even though I know my mere presence in his life does that. I did not seek him out and there is no political machination involved in our relationship. I never would have thought anyone in the galaxy would freely have the sort of affection for me that he does. I return that affection. I love him dearly."

Hux's voice and his posture relayed how genuinely he meant that. It felt wrong to be disclosing this to a stranger (and all those who watched the video and their many rehearsals), but Hux understood the value of public relations. So he said what he needed to say. It helped that it was true.

"I ask that you consider this message as the opening of a dialogue. If there is any proof you desire of the sincerity of my good intentions involving your son, please let me know. I will append my personal communication channel information to the end of this. Due to my continuing duties on behalf of the First Order, it is not secure."

* * *

Poe watched Hux's recording a dozen times. It was fairly short and professionally done. It was well-lit with a nondescript background that kept the viewer's eye on Hux himself. Hux was as poised and coifed as always, but dressed in civilian clothes that caught Poe's eye only because he'd never seen Hux in anything like it before. He had to wonder if they'd been custom-made for this one transmission. Despite knowing how staged it was, it still made him tear up to see Hux openly professing love for him.

Poe wanted to play this over and over for the ones in the Resistance who kept insisting Hux was no more than a manipulative, calculating mastermind who was disassembling the Order for some arcane but untrustworthy purpose of his own. But Poe didn't think they'd see no matter what he put in front of them. For some, the horror and scale of the Hosnian Cataclysm overrode everything else.

There was no explanation, circumstance, or mitigating factor that could change Hux's culpability for them. There was no apology or restitution that could ever be made on a scale with what had happened. Snoke's death meant little, because it was Armitage Hux's face that had ended up on the video and his voice that had called out for the end of the Republic.

The more Poe wrestled with it, the more he came to understand and accept Hux's refusal to be shamed for what he'd done. Even if he had accepted the shame, his detractors wouldn't be satisfied. He wasn't a man to grovel when beaten. Instead, he was the sort to bite a chunk out of the leg of whoever was stupid enough to keep kicking him while he was down. Poe couldn't help but be proud of him in a twisted sort of way.

He had to hope his father had the capacity to see beyond the witch hunt that was going on. Poe sent the video on with his own even shorter recording. "Hey, Dad. It's been too long. I've been busy. Stuff's been happening. I've met a guy. He's really special. I've asked him to marry me. You need to know him. He recorded a little bit for you. So … watch that. Then call me." Poe swallowed and licked his lips. "I want your support on this." He nodded to himself and hit send.

A few hours later, he had a reply. Like his message, it wasn't an open communication link. It wasn't even a recording. It was merely a text message, "This guy?" and a link to a news media bio on Hux. With a sigh, Poe followed the link.

Over the last year, news coverage in the Republic of Hux had changed from no one having any idea who he was before the firing of Starkiller Base, to a few months of him being the worst of the worst, to the more recent stance where it was as though people had realized it probably wasn't a good idea to be openly antagonistic to the guy in charge of the only remaining large-scale fleet of warships in the galaxy. But even that wasn't enough to keep them from impugning his motivation and character even while he was setting up an orderly transition of power to a more legitimate government. They just did it in a backhanded way that bothered Poe so much he hardly watched the news anymore.

The biography listed Hux as born on Arkanis, son of Commandant Brendol Hux of the Empire, the project leader for construction and design of Starkiller Base (this was not how it was listed in the Order service documents Poe had seen, but it was close enough). He was the commanding general when Starkiller Base was activated and destroyed the Hosnian system (planets and former populations were listed, but in case anyone was unclear Hux had ordered the death of billions). He'd been present in the negotiations hosted by the king of Naboo under Supreme Leader Kylo Ren (though he received no credit for the outcome). It mentioned his elevation to grand marshal after Kylo Ren's abdication and then there followed a breakdown of Hux's participation in other negotiations between the remnants of the New Republic and the First Order (this part was dry and neutral).

Poe checked out a few of the videos from the more recent treaty discussions. Hux wasn't doing anything too embarrassing in them. It was the same flowery speech pattern, clipped accent, and occasional expression of disdain. But the first video in the entire biography was the one that had seen the most play in the media. It was the one from Starkiller Base – furiously screaming about the last day of the Republic. There was just no way to get around that. Poe rubbed his forehead. He sent back a text message, resisting the urge to apologize or offer an explanation. "Yep. That's the one."

A few minutes later, an actual communications link came through. He flipped it on. "Hey. This is Poe."

"Yeah? Hey, this is me. That's him, huh?"

"Yeah."

"He's famous." Kes didn't say anything else, like it was an idle observation, but Poe knew it was anything but.

"Yeah." Infamous, but Poe didn't say that, since they both knew it was what his father was getting at without coming right out and saying, 'what, that nutjob that's on the news all the time?'

"I watched that recording you sent of him. He sounds like he's trying to be really sincere."

"He is, Dad. He is," Poe leaned towards the video pickup. "I know it might seem crazy, but all that other stuff, the way he is in public? I mean, it _is_  him. I'm not saying it's not. But he's not that way in private. He's not."

"Yeah?" Kes sounded dubious. "I thought it sounded kind of fake."

"It's … it's not." Poe regretted letting Hux run it through his PR department, but on the other hand, he wasn't sure that any stilted, clumsy, defensive delivery would have gone over any better.

His father blinked at him, still disbelieving, then looked down at something outside the pickup range – either a piece of paper or a datapad. "He said he was leaving the First Order to be with you."

"Yep."

"You believe that?"

"Yes." Poe said it firmly.

His father regarded him for a long moment, then looked down again. "He also said he didn't seek you out. So I would assume that means you started this between you and him?"

Poe grinned guiltily. "Yeah … well … yeah." He was happy to take the blame for that one. And glad to have done it.

"How did that happen?"

"Well, uh," Poe sighed, "we were on Naboo. I've told you about the negotiations. And uh, I started flirting with him, just to get under his skin. And one thing led to another …" He scratched at an eyebrow. He didn't think telling his dad how sexy and awkward and exciting he'd found Hux to be would help his case any, so he didn't.

"It sounds like one thing led to a marriage proposal."

"Yeah, eventually." Poe agreed. "I know how this sounds, Dad."

"Do you? I'm trying to figure out how this even works!" There was anger and exasperation in his father's voice and features, like it was a personal affront to him that his son had found anything interesting in a person like Hux. "Are you still in charge of the Resistance? Aren't you still stationed on the  _Restitution_? You've told me about the missions you've been on lately. I follow the news about you. Naboo was … six months ago? Seven? Eight? Do you two even see each other?"

Poe nodded. "Yeah, well, um, we haven't seen each other a lot. We meet up when we can. I'm at some of the government talks, but I'm not directly involved because it would look like I'm biased, so it's usually Colonel Connix, but the  _Restitution_  is still there in orbit and I see him after he's, uh, off work. Then there are a lot of missions that have our ships in the same areas. We see each other a time or two a month." Which was exaggerating it slightly, but he didn't want his dad to think he hardly knew the guy.

"Okay, that sounds like about as much as your mother and I did back during the war. That's not much, Poe. That's not enough."

"It was enough for you two," Poe said with a touch of defiance.

His father brushed it aside. "But how? Do you just take a shuttle over to a star destroyer and wander up to the bridge? The grand marshal of the First Order roaming the hallway of the Resistance flagship without anyone saying anything? In my day, people would be shooting!"

"Uh, there are procedures and stuff. We've worked it out. It's simple enough if you trust each other. And we do." Poe glossed over the armed guards and handcuffs. The security situation had never changed – Poe was under constant supervision when he boarded the  _Finalizer_  and Hux didn't set foot on the  _Restitution_  or the negotiation sites without a full escort of guards and armed staff, either in the room with him or directly outside. Even at night, outside of Poe's quarters. It looked weird as hell, Poe had to admit. But he didn't want to get into the details.

"How serious is this?" Kes asked.

"I'm going to marry him. I'm completely serious."

"What happens if you don't?"

"Uh, what? Then we're not married. But that's not happening. What do you mean?"

"Have you been coerced into this, Poe? Blackmail, maybe? Like if you don't do it, he's going to deep-six the new government and make himself the next emperor?"

"No, Dad," Poe said with a frustrated, defensive edge. "That's ridiculous. It's simple: I love him; he loves me. We want to spend our lives together. We're  _going_  to spend our lives together."

"Easy. Calm down, Son." Kes sighed.

"I thought you needed to know." Poe leaned back, lips pursed, resisting the impulse to cut the connection. He'd done his duty and let his father know. He didn't need to be doubted and upbraided about a situation his father knew next to nothing about. But the only way to fix that was to keep talking.

"Yeah, yeah. I guess I do." Kes looked down at whatever he'd been reading from earlier. "You know, it just never occurred to me to go chat up some pretty TIE fighter pilot. Even if I'd had the opportunity." He looked up at Poe. "I know you're an honorable man and completely committed to … to the Alliance and then the Resistance, to fighting against the ideals of the group this man leads. And that's the thing – he's in charge. It's not like you're chatting up another pilot. This is like chatting up the emperor, Poe. Do you really understand the power this man wields?" Poe said nothing, just stared at the video pickup with a stubborn expression. Kes looked down again. "I'll admit … he looks a bit better than Palpatine ever did."

Poe couldn't stop a laugh from bursting out at that. "He does. Yeah, Dad. Little better. Maybe I should have mentioned something about how hot he looked on Naboo. And, like, all the time."

Kes sighed and gave Poe a sympathetic look. "I'd guess he has it bad for you too, if he's going to send out taped love letters and leave all of that behind for you. I know you always hit it off well with people, never had any trouble finding someone to spend time with or be your wingman, but it sounds like you're some kind of secret weapon we should have unleashed on the Order a long time ago. I didn't know it worked that way, Poe." Kes gave Poe a wry smile. "Is there anything else you need to tell me about that stormtrooper who defected to save you? Seems like these guys are falling all over themselves for you."

Poe laughed again and shook his head. "Dad … No. I don't know. It worked out. It's not what I expected when all this started with him. I thought we'd get to know each other a little … well, first I thought I'd just get him bothered and that would be funny, and it was, but he was so genuine even then."

Poe's voice softened. "The more he said, the more I didn't want to tease him and I honestly wanted to show him a good time. We hit it off. He was really hard to get out of his shell. It makes me feel fantastic to know how much I've turned things around for him. He's a nice guy and I know there's no way you can look at the news and see that. If there's any secret weapon here, Dad, it's just showing a little compassion."

His father's brows rose. "Really? To this guy?"

"Really. These First Order guys are people. Just like anyone else. I told you all about Finn, right? And some about Leia's son?" Kes nodded. Poe continued, "Hux isn't the screaming maniac the news likes to show him as. He's a person. He's a man. Once I got to know him, I liked him. Once I figured out where he was coming from," Poe shrugged, "a lot of it made sense. Maybe I've played a role in getting him to shut down the First Order, but Dad, I've never  _asked_  him to do that. He's doing it because he knows it's the right thing to do. He's doing it because he has alternatives in his life, like being with me instead of … where he was. Where he is now. He's getting out of that." Poe nodded slowly to himself and to his father. "I'm helping him get out of that."

His father was quiet for a long time. Poe waited him out. Finally Kes said, "You know, Leia's son turned into some kind of Darth Vader. And of course, her dad  _was_  Darth Vader. And now you tell me he's not anymore. He stepped down – I see that on the news. You tell me he's out there with you doing good things, freeing slaves, flying around in that death trap of his, shooting up the bad guys."

Kes put his fist to his chin and mouth for a few moments before lowering it. "So I know people can change … sides. Have a change of heart. You really think this guy's the one for you?"

Poe nodded.

"What do you want my support with?"

"He's really important to me. He's going to be part of the family, part of my family. I want you to treat him like that. Not like some pariah or … refugee. He's proud. I'm not going to sugar-coat that. He's not going to apologize for what he's done. I'm okay with that. I need you to be okay with that." His father looked at Poe levelly without response, so Poe said, "I gave him Mom's ring."

Kes's mouth opened, then closed. He swallowed and drew in a deep breath. "That's a little premature, don't you think?" he asked with a rough voice.

"No. It's not. I wanted him to know how serious I was. I want you to know."

"The ring I gave your mother on the hand of the man who blew up the Hosnian system?"

Poe shut his eyes for a second and chewed his lip. Then he looked at his father with determination. "Yes, Dad. It's mine to give. Not yours." There was a tension to Poe's voice that only crept in there when he was giving orders he was absolutely sure of – things he was willing to fight for.

"That's true," Kes finally said and cut the communication on his end. It reminded Poe of the various times he'd turned off the comm when the message he was hearing wasn't to his liking. He was his father's son. He just hoped that meant his father would come around. If he didn't … well, Kylo and Rey had been talking about settling on Takodana, or maybe going to Arkanis would jog some of Hux's memories. They seemed like as good of places as any.


	15. Artifacts

"There's been a last minute seating change," Hux told Fuseb, showing him the new layout on his datapad. "The delegates from Onderon informed us on arrival that they'd swapped out one of their registered members for a Twi'lek. One of the delegates from Corellia has a phobia about pheromones or some religious prohibition against being close to beautiful females. I don't know the details, but it's easier to shift the Onderon party to table seven than argue about it."

Fuseb nodded, looking at the datapad. "We'll have to change accommodations as well as seats and meal choices. I will see to it, sir."

"Good." Hux's eye caught on a tall, dark figure standing in the middle of the left bank of dining tables. There was only one person that could be. He left Fuseb to the preparations and strode over to Ren's side. The man was looking down at the floor, not out at the panorama of stars and the few dozen ships convened outside for the event, specially parked and oriented where they could be seen to best advantage. A few were still drifting into their final positions. Hux followed Ren's eye line, but there was nothing there but muted carpeting.

"I like the new color scheme," Ren said with a slight movement of his head.

Something about the statement jarred Hux's mind enough to remind him this was the spot where Snoke had been sitting when he died. The room had been redecorated – throne and equipment removed – but it was still the same basic dimensions. Hux looked to the pastel blue walls with black and silver accents. "I think we've both seen enough red and gold for our lifetimes."

Ren nodded. They stood silently together as people bustled in the background, laying out table dressing and assembling the platform Hux and the other speakers would be standing on later as they addressed the crowd.

It was a strange observance – not one Hux had expected to ever make, and certainly not today. Thoughts of that creature invading his mind, twisting his life, and threatening everything Hux had ever worked toward occupied his thoughts. "Have I ever thanked you for killing him?" Hux asked.

"Have I ever thanked you," Ren answered, "for all of this?" He gestured at the room and the many ships outside. Hux looked at it all soberly. Ren said, "You did what you were good at. So did I."

"This is the work of many, many people," Hux said. "Not just me. Your action was singular, and, I imagine, at great risk."

"It was," Ren said quietly. "But if I had stayed supreme leader, I would have tried to do all of this myself. I would have failed. You told me that first day that I needed to know my people. There was too much for me to learn in too short a time. You'd already been doing this for years."

"Only some of it. And I needed your guidance to make peace. I would have never laid down my weapons if you hadn't made me do it. I didn't know how."

Ren nodded slowly, looking out at the ships. "You learn fast. Giving away this ship to the new government?"

Hux shrugged. "Soon all the First Order ships will belong to the new government. This is only the beginning."

"Hm." Kylo looked over at the spot where Snoke had died. "What did you do with Snoke's things?"

Hux turned to face him. "You mean the Sith artifacts and various other objects infused with the Force? The baubles and trophies and holocrons he had collected over his unnaturally long life? I haven't done anything with them. They're still on this ship. I'm giving them to the new government with an agreement that they will be taken apart, studied, and the findings published."

"What? You can't do that," Kylo said with exasperation.

"Why not?"

"The Force won't allow it."

"'The Force won't allow it'?" Hux mocked. "Where was the Force when I used the simple principles behind a lightsaber to destroy the Hosnian system? Where was the Force when Palpatine took down the entire Jedi Order? I haven't seen the Force do a very good job of stopping people from using it. Or misusing it. But – should it do so, then we'll study the manner in which the Force doesn't allow it and learn something from that, all by itself."

"You can't … make the Force the subject of scientific inquiry, Hux. It's not a technological thing."

"Then you have nothing to fear. This has lingered too long in secrecy, Ren, hidden away in shadows where creatures like Snoke can benefit from the ignorance of others. Your sort claim the Force is the greatest power in the universe, yet we know next to nothing about it, our knowledge intentionally blotted out by those able to wield this power. People need to take it apart, understand it, and use it for the benefit of all and not just a few untrustworthy individuals born of the right family. I'm going to give it to everyone who is interested in using it."

Kylo's brows rose. He chuckled in disbelief. "Very well. If you manage to accomplish it, I won't be the one to stand in your way." He shrugged a shoulder. "Snoke would have been furious."

"Not just him. Snoke. Palpatine. Thrawn. My father. All of their collections are here. Together." Hux gave Ren a wicked little smile. "I'll defy them all."

"Palpatine?"

Hux's smile broadened. "Ah. You, too, are interested in expanding your knowledge? How predictable. You can join the research group if you want to learn more. There has been no shortage of interested parties. Your personal items that were left on the  _Finalizer_  are not involved unless you choose to donate them. Otherwise, I would suggest you make arrangements for them in the next month. Upon my departure from the Order, I'll have them transferred here and held in trust for you, but I'm not sure how reliable that will be should you desire to regain custody."

Ren looked over at the spot where Snoke had died.

Ren was silent, so Hux added, "Besides, I need to get rid of these things safely. If I hide them, they'll be stolen. If I give it to any one individual or even parcel them out, then I'm just putting them back in circulation until the next Sith comes along. If I find a way to give this to everyone, then no one person owns it."

Ren made a small nod. "My uncle told Rey, 'The Force doesn't belong to the Jedi.' It doesn't belong to the Sith, either. Or to any individual."

Hux shrugged. "I'd rather it were gone entirely, but I don't always get what I want."

"Speaking of getting what you want, what happened to the plans to go to Yavin? Poe said they were on hold."

"His father," Hux said, accepting the change in subject. "But he accepted the invitation to this event. He's probably already aboard."

"Fathers."

Hux gave Ren a brief, sympathetic smile. He'd never discussed his own with Ren, nor had Ren mentioned his, but they both knew enough of the other to know it was a subject of deep emotions. "Yes. Fathers. I have to get back to the preparations. Is there anything you need?"

Ren shook his head. "I just wanted to see the spot where he died before there were crowds confusing the energy."

"Ah. Well, I might not be able to have people dance on his grave, but I'll make sure to have the dance floor adjusted so we can celebrate atop where he died." Hux headed off to make sure things were going according to schedule.


	16. Fathers

Hux took the drink the droid offered him and walked over to where Poe was standing with his father. By necessity, Hux was still wearing his dress uniform. It wasn't the opening impression he'd wanted to make, but neither had he wanted that to be the official speech Kes had sat through as Hux, among others, spoke about the history of the  _Supremacy_ , the Battle of Crait, the sacrifice of Admiral Holdo, the repairs by Kuat Drive Yards, and the meaning behind the ship's new name, the  _Unification_.

Poe saw him coming and stepped to the side, nudging his father, who turned. "Dad. Armitage Hux. Hux, Kes Dameron."

"Kes," Hux said with a bow of his head.

"Sir."

"The honorific is not necessary among family members."

"Are we family?" Kes said challengingly.

"Dad," Poe objected, like they'd already been over this. Or maybe he was trying to head off the attitude before it got going. Not that this was likely to work.

"If you wish," Hux said, his tone cooling. He wasn't interested in passing tests or playing games for this man's approval. Or anyone's.

"What does that mean, if I say no?" Kes' tone was a mix of belligerent and curious.

"It means you and I will share no relation, by your choice. What Poe does with his life is separate from that. I've accepted his proposal." Hux spoke plainly and kept his voice even, eye contact direct and uncompromising.

Kes nodded, appraising Hux.

"Dad, come on."

At Poe's comment, Hux felt obligated to try again. "I am honored that you came today," Hux said, attempting to reopen pleasantries, if there were any to be had.

"The beginning of the end for the First Order," Kes said. "Why wouldn't I?"

Hux didn't feel Kes' tone was as gloating at that as it should have been were it genuine. Instead, the barbs were intentional. Maybe he should view this as the mildly malicious version of how Poe flirted with people to put them off, or how he'd jeered at Hux before they'd gotten together. Seen in that light, Hux found new patience. "I would have placed the beginning on Snoke's death," Hux said, playing along.

"Assassination. Is that the usual way people get promoted in your organization?"

Poe bristled. Hux gave his forearm a single pat and put on a smooth air of being unbothered, even enthusiastic about the turn of conversation. "Stars! It's not supposed to be. I keep trying to convince my subordinates otherwise but I don't think they're listening."

Kes cocked his head. Hux told him conspiratorially, "There have been two assassination attempts so far."

"Really?" Kes' brows drew together. "I've been watching the news, keeping up. I hadn't seen anything."

Poe was staring at Hux, blinking a few times, very intent. "I hadn't heard anything either." His voice was quieter.

"It's not the sort of thing we put in the media releases," he said dismissively. But he was kicking himself inside. He hadn't intended to tell Poe at all. His father – sure. Maybe he'd get distracted hoping the third time was the charm.

Kes took a sip of his drink. "Tell me about them." When Hux looked at him inquiringly, the older man shrugged one shoulder. "I'm curious."

Hux had at least achieved his goal. He'd turned the conversation around where Kes was listening to him instead of constantly baiting him. He supposed that now that it had been mentioned, he needed to give some details to Poe as well. "The first involved one of my personal guards who was removed and replaced covertly. My other guards discovered the switch before the man was able to get close to me. The other was at one of the treaty negotiations. I was probably not the sole target, as they were attempting to poison the entire First Order party."

Kes asked, "What happened to them? The guard, the poisoners. Who was responsible?"

"In the case of the guard, it was traced back to a governor on one of the First Order core worlds. There was an investigation to confirm it, a trial, a guilty finding, and an execution. The poisoners were moved to a local jail where they were shot in their cells by a security droid which then turned itself in for incineration. We never found out who was behind them."

Poe covered his mouth, letting his hand fall to his chin, then dropped it. He chewed his lips and glared at Hux, who was trying to ignore Poe's obvious agitation.

Kes noticed, but didn't say anything about it. "Do you think they'll try again?"

"Would you like them to?"

Kes smiled slowly. "I see. That's why you mentioned it. So I either say 'yes' and sound like I'm wishing for your death or 'no' and I'm supporting you. Clever."

"I think my death would complicate things for more people than it would help. The last thing the galaxy needs is for the First Order to have a martyr at this stage. It may be self-serving, but I think the best thing for everyone is for me to quietly retreat from public life with as little fanfare as possible."

"With my son?"

"Sounds good to me," Poe said. "You know how I am about volunteering for dangerous missions."

"Yeah," Kes said. "I've told you to stop that."

"How well has that worked?" Hux asked.

Kes rolled his eyes and shook his head. He gestured across the room and changed the subject abruptly. "Is that Leia's kid, Ben Solo?"

"Yeah," Poe answered, letting himself be distracted from the subject of the assassination attempts. "He goes by Kylo Ren these days."

Hux took his first sip of his drink, studying Kes. As he'd known from visuals he'd obtained months earlier, Poe got his nose and eyes from his father; his hair from his mother; basic coloration from both of them. He could see the ancestry just as much in behavior. As he recalled, he hadn't wanted much to do with Poe either in their first encounters. It was only Poe's persistence – his self-admitted challenge to himself to bed Hux (or at least get close) – that had led to a relationship. Kes had the same pattern, Hux decided. Just without the romantic interest.

Kes snorted. He looked to Poe. "Thank goodness you never saw a need to change your name."

"He has a good name," Hux said, putting himself back in the conversation. "But not all of us like the name our family gave us." Kes looked at him. Hux elaborated. "Kes, Poe. Ben. Rey. Good names. One syllable. Simple. 'Arhm-a-tidge'. Not so much."

Kes chuckled. "I bet you got teased a lot as a kid for that."

"Oh, it was mostly my last name they took note of."

"Strong Imperial family, eh?"

"Yes."

"The Damerons ended up on the other side of things."

"I would hope we could put that behind us now that the war is over."

Kes gave him a doubtful look. "Your name's pretty well-known."

"You could take my name instead," Poe offered.

Hux's brows crept up a little. "Oh really? Dameron Hux? That has a nice ring to it."

Poe twitched. "What? I know you guys are weird about names, but it's usually the last one that changes."

"Armitage Dameron? That's a mouthful. I hate it already," Hux said. "Maybe I should call myself Ben Solo. It's a perfectly good name. No one else is using it."

Hux didn't have to look to know Kylo's head had turned their way. He could see it in the way Kes glanced over in Kylo's direction and held the look for a moment.

"You could be Hugs Dameron," Poe said with a cheeky grin.

"Hux Dameron?" Kes said, turning back to Poe. "Are you saying Hux or Hugs?"

"Hugs. It's a pet name." Poe smiled. Kes looked at Hux, who shrugged.

Kes chuckled. "How do you put up with this smartass?"

"I find him charming," Hux said, taking another sip of his drink.

"That's good to hear, because he's been that way since he was a kid. How about you?"

"Hm?" Hux looked at him expectantly.

"You strike me as more the straight man type."

Hux gave him a single blink and then said, "Given that we're discussing me marrying your son, I can't imagine why you'd think that."

Hux's delivery was so dry that it took even Kes a moment to work that out. Poe broke out laughing. Hux remained impassive. Kes chuckled, nodded slowly, and said, "Touché. You got me. You've got a good sense of humor. You're going to need it. How do you two reconcile the war? You were in the same battles, on opposite sides. That's what I can't wrap my head around."

Hux looked at Poe, who looked at his feet. Hux turned to Kes and said, "I value duty above all. Your son was doing honorable service, no matter which side he was on. What it means to me is that he is a man of loyalty, fidelity, and courage. I would never hold that against him. It is my impression that Poe's values are different. He wants to do the right thing. I think he believes that includes forgiveness. In that way, there is nothing to reconcile – he forgives me, and I don't see that he's done anything wrong."

"Yeah." Poe raised his head, giving Hux a proud look. "Yeah. That sums it up really well."

"What I'm hearing is you don't value doing the right thing," Kes said slowly, cocking his head at Hux.

"My definition of that is not the same as yours," Hux said politely.

Poe shouldered in front, putting himself between his father and Hux. "Dad, I know what you're doing. You're trying to set him off. He's a good guy. Don't do this."

Hux glanced down at Poe with a perplexed look, then over Poe's shoulder at Kes. Kes said to Poe, "You're mighty protective of him."

"Like I shouldn't be?" Poe answered. Hux lightly rested a hand on Poe's shoulder. Poe stayed focused on his father, raising a pointing, accusing finger at the man. "He's done the right thing in his life and I will fight anyone I need to who says he didn't."

"Poe, I have done so many indefensible things," Hux said quietly. "Don't-"

Poe glanced over his shoulder. "The things you've told me about?"

"Yes."

Poe shook his head, eyes half shut and a mulish set to his jaw. "No. Those make sense. They make perfect sense." He looked at his father, lifting his chin in challenge. "The Hosnian system included." Hux tried to say something, then just let it go. Kes noticed that. Poe said, "Dad, you told me all those stories about the Rebels and the Empire. Black and white. Good guys and bad guys. This one was a lot more complicated. He hasn't changed sides or had a change of heart and he's not going to. That's how it is."

Kes looked over Poe's shoulder at Hux. "Are you going to feel that same sort of duty to my son once you marry him?"

"I already do."

"It's pretty clear he feels the same way. I knew I'd get a rise out of one of you." Kes looked to Poe. "You wanted my support. You have it."


	17. Dead Dog Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Very light cock-ball torture. Very light breath-play.

"How long have you been working for him?" Poe asked in an attempt to stay awake as the after party of the  _Unification_  gala stretched on.

Tritt Opan seemed about as out of it, but more blasé. "Ten years? No, fifteen." He toyed with the last glass in front of him as though considering getting a refill, but ultimately did not. "I worked for his father before."

"Really? Brendol?"

Opan nodded.

"What was that like?"

Opan shrugged. "Fine. I did jobs. You see, before they got organized it was … disorganized." He grimaced. He wasn't very drunk, but he was definitely lit. "Brendol was paying. Most weren't. He had this operation and …" Opan peered at Poe like he'd just realized who he was. "Why are you even still here?"

"I'm waiting on Hux."

Opan looked off in the direction Poe had waved. On the other side of the room was an archway and from the room beyond emerged a babble of voices, squeaks, and occasional rolling grunts. From time to time they could see what few celebrants remained moving past the opening and about as often, a droid or one of the staff moving through carrying refreshments or removing dishes.

"What are  _you_  doing here?" Poe asked.

"Same thing."

Poe nodded. "That's what I thought. But, you know, if I go over to the  _Finalizer_ , they put me in the brig until he gets there. So I might as well wait here, where I can have drinks and not be handcuffed. What's your excuse?"

Opan shrugged. "Bodyguard."

Poe reached out and nudged one of the empty glasses, looking up at Opan from under his brows and heavy-lidded eyes. It was a judgmental look.

"Bad bodyguard," Opan said. He gave a brief, embarrassed smile.

"Very bad," Poe snorted and wagged a finger at him. Opan wasn't so drunk that Poe was going to say anything else about it, but it made him doubly glad he'd stuck around. Although both of them were doing a poor job of 'guarding' Hux from the next room. Poe looked over in that direction with new concern. He was thinking about those assassination attempts. "What sort of job did you do?"

Opan shrugged. "I look for problems. If I find one, we negotiate on price. Then I take care of the problem and I get paid. Or sometimes he already knows what the problem is. Same process. I might be open for freelance work pretty soon." Opan gave Poe a semi-hopeful look on the off chance Poe needed to hire a hitman.

"I'll keep that in mind," Poe said with a smile. He'd be more critical of Hux's seedy 'friends' if that wasn't Hux's own past occupation. Also, he suspected Tritt was almost as much of a hoot as Hux. Poe looked over at the archway again. "There he is." Hux emerged with Fuseb. They paused near the arch and spoke quietly. Poe leaned over to Opan and said, "You see that guy he's with, that big guy?"

"Uh-huh."

"You know he used to work for Snoke, right? What was his title?"

"Chief of staff."

Poe nodded and leaned closer. "He did something else, though, right?"

Opan turned and looked at him. They were very close. "Yeah. Sometimes. When he did, it was terrifying." Opan's expression matched his words as though whatever Fuseb did was intimidating even to an assassin. He looked over as Hux approached and that was the end of the conversation. Poe sighed and leaned back. If only he'd had a few more seconds.

Hux arrived. "Hello, gentlemen. Shall we go?" As they walked, Hux said, "I tripped over Derest's foot and fell against Marsa, so I became smeared with that jelly the Hutts call perfume. I apologize for the stench."

Poe had already noticed the pungent, musky scent. It wasn't foul; just very strange, like roasted meat, body odor, and oil. He looked to Opan. "I think maybe we should have been guarding him from a little closer."

Hux huffed and snapped, "You couldn't have done anything about it and I told him to stay in the other room. I didn't want to be overheard."

"By Opan, or me?"

"Either. Anyone. It's not like I'm going to find out the plans of the Grand Hutt Council any other way." His tone was still sharp. He sighed and made an effort to sound less grouchy. "I'm very tired. Do you intend to interrogate me about security arrangements all the way to the shuttle?"

"I'm concerned, okay?"

"I'm concerned about the way I smell. Nothing else happened. Although I did find out what I needed to know."

Poe glanced at Opan, then back at the couple other  _Finalizer_  staffers who had fallen in behind them from somewhere. No one said a word or even made eye contact about Poe obliquely questioning the grand marshal's judgment. Not even Tritt. Poe let the subject drop.

The smell was less escapable in the shuttle, but the transport between ships was quick and quiet, even with the staff who accompanied them and the guards who'd been waiting in the shuttle. All but Opan and two troopers parted ways with them at the hangar on the  _Finalizer_. The usual handcuffs were slapped on Poe, who gave the troopers a bland smile instead of his standard flirtation. He was tired, too.

Opan checked Hux's quarters first, which was yet another new stage in security. He emerged a few moments later. "All clear." Hux nodded and waved him off. Opan went down the hall, presumably towards his own quarters.

Hux and Poe walked in. Poe turned to see the two guards had taken up spots on either side of the door, out in the hallway, just like they did when Hux was on the  _Restitution_. But this was the first time they'd done that on the  _Finalizer_  as well. The doors slid shut. Hux released his cuffs.

"Little more security than usual," Poe observed, rubbing his wrists as Hux put the binders on the counter.

Hux went to the refresher and began to strip, stuffing his clothes into the laundry receptacle. "There are many more variables at play today. But I haven't heard that there were any problems at the celebration aside from a pair of unrelated assaults and an alleged theft, also unrelated to the assaults. Fuseb's looking into the theft. The assaults aren't my problem, since the  _Unification_  isn't First Order property anymore."

"But here on the  _Finalizer_?" Poe moved to him, raising his hands to touch Hux's shoulders.

Hux didn't withdraw, but raised a hand to discourage him. "It's all over me. It's in my hair, on my neck, my hands. I am revolting. Let me wash."

"Let me help."

"Very well." Hux stepped into the shower, glancing pointedly at Poe's fully clothed state. Poe smiled and started to undress. Hux waited. He explained, "We've had a lot of traffic. Freight in and out. People moving back and forth. It introduces possibilities."

"You've had two attempts to kill you," Poe said, giving Hux a direct look. "I don't appreciate finding that out tonight in front of people."

Hux sighed and tipped his head to rest on the side of the shower stall. "Neither of them were close. I didn't want to discuss it with you. It would concern you."

"Yeah, you're right. I want to be concerned. Tell me next time, Hugs. Please." Poe stepped into the shower with him. "Is there anything else that's happened?"

"No." He sighed and turned to activate the water. "Just the usual bickering and trying to work out with Prok how to force the planetary governors to pay a fitting wage instead of pocketing the profits themselves. Where there's that degree of money involved, there's always danger." He yawned and reached up to scrub at his hair under the water.

Poe batted his hands away. "Let me."

"You're going to get it on your hands," Hux complained, but weakly. He braced his hands on the wall of the shower. "I don't want you to smell like a Hutt."

"It doesn't smell all that bad," Poe said. He paused to get some shampoo after he was done with a first rinse and started working it through. Hux made a pleased whining noise. Poe told him, "It's just different. Probably smells great to other Hutts."

"I'm not a Hutt. Neither are you." He groaned in appreciation at Poe's efforts. "She had no end of complaints about the termination of the slave trade. Now there's one who would like nothing better than to be connected to those planetary governors and offer them direct deliveries of finished slaves for their factories. They need to be really aggressive about audits. I'll … Ohhh."

Poe smiled to himself, rinsing off the lather as Hux continued in a mutter, "All of this is Ren's fault. Oh, that's good. Naboo. I never had to do anything but blow people up before that. Ah, yes. That's it. Ahhh. Diplomacy. End of a gun. Better. Yes. Eddiva's lessons. Do you know how much kriffing training I've had to sit through? Like a cadet. This isn't … but … yes, ohhh. Mmmm." Beyond that, Hux dissolved into nothing but sensual noises.

He kept working at it long after Poe figured they were already as clean as they were going to get. When Hux's sounds seemed to be winding down, Poe pressed his lips briefly to Hux's shoulder and said, "Since we're in the shower here, would it be okay if I was messy with my kisses?"

"You mean- um, yes?"

"Like this." Poe put his mouth on Hux's skin, lips fanning out and creating a light suction. He touched his tongue to Hux's skin, then lifted away.

"Um. Let me wash afterward again and yes."

Poe was already behind him. He sidled closer, putting his mouth closer to Hux's neck. His half-erect penis bumped Hux's buttock.

"No." Hux pulled away from him abruptly and turned to face him, hands up. The tired, pleased slur that had been in his voice before was gone. It was clipped now. "Not behind me. Not like that."

Poe glanced down at himself, realizing what had happened. "Okay. From the front? Or should we stop now?"

Hux breathed out, water running down him. "From the front."

Hux moved to hug him. Poe cleared his throat and tried to shift his hips to get his penis to go somewhere other than poking the guy, but unless he held it, there weren't any good options. Hux took a half step back and looked down at the offending organ. Then he put his forearm across Poe's throat and the other hand to his shoulder, pushing him against the wall of the shower. Poe's eyes widened. Hux's face was calm. The forearm under Poe's chin pushed up, scraping the scabbard straps against his throat.

"You're going to have to do something about that," Hux said, still dispassionate. The hand on Poe's shoulder dropped to his balls. "I'm ordering you … to do something about it."

A smile brightened Poe's face as he decided they were playing. "Yeah? Oh yeah." He put a hand to himself and began to stroke.

"Oh yes. That's why you wanted to kiss me. That's what was on your mind. You're a filthy man, Poe Dameron. I know what you want."

"You're going to talk dirty to me? Fuck!" Poe was delighted. He stroked faster, hoping he wasn't too tired or buzzed to actually get off. But the novelty of having Hux pin him, tug on his balls, and give him sexy talk (all three at once!) was doing wonders for him.

Hux bared his teeth at him, twisting as Poe pumped. "You just couldn't wait to get your hands all over me. I've got you now. I know your kind. I can hear you breathing, getting turned on when you see me, when you hear me, when you touch me. But I think you like me a little more hands-on than just kissing my back, don't you?" He pulled his forearm off Poe's throat and replaced it with his hand, squeezing lightly. "Is this what you want?"

Poe shut his eyes and let out a breathy gasp. "Not too hard."

"Oh yes, I know how it is. To feel yourself completely controlled by someone else. Submit. Some part of you has to. Play at surrender. It's what they want to hear. Let th- Let me hear it."

Hux's hand on his neck was more an ornamentation than any real danger. Poe could breathe just fine and the pressure on his circulation was minor. Hux was much more interested in flexing his hand and changing position than actually choking him. Which was a relief, as they hadn't talked about anything like this beforehand. Then again, as Hux had said, he was a sadist, not an idiot.

"Oh, I surrender," Poe said, stroking himself. "Baby, I'm yours."

Hux curled the fingers on Poe's balls, nails digging in. "Don't call me an infant!"

"Fuck. Fuck. No, don't stop," Poe said quickly, because apparently his pained tone had been genuine enough (and it was genuine) to make Hux back off and almost entirely release him. Poe wanted just the opposite. "Keep doing that. Yes!" He bit his lip as Hux renewed the pressure. "Fuck, yeah!" Hux's fingers tightened on the muscle of his throat as well. Poe made a whimper and tilted his head back against the smooth wall of the shower. The water was still cascading over them.

He worked himself furiously, letting all the tensions from the day wash away. He was here. Armitage was here. They were together and he was thrilling with pain and excitement. It lit him up inside. Poe came a few moments later. Hux jerked himself to the side to make sure he was out of the field of fire. Poe sagged. Hux's hand went to his shoulder instead of his neck. The one on his balls had let go and was on his hip now. "Oh … Hugs."

Poe tried to collect himself. He wondered if he was going to have bruises on his neck and if he did, was he going to leave them there to be seen? He liked the idea at least in the theoretical. On the practical, though, he didn't want anyone even suspecting Hux of mistreatment. Hux rubbed at his shoulder, watching his face. "Thanks," Poe said. "Thank you for that. That wasn't what I was angling at, though. I just wanted to kiss on you, maybe up and down your back."

Hux nodded. "I thought you wanted the release. I've seen how you get worked up to see me. It's flattering."

"Don't get me wrong. That was good. Just … I don't know how to say it. Thank you."

Hux's hand left his shoulder to trail down his chest, following the flow of water. He seemed mesmerized by its passage over the planes of Poe's pectorals.

Poe let his eyes slide mostly shut, barely seeing Hux through shuttered lids. He felt more relaxed and less exhausted. "Have you ever been sexually assaulted?" The moment Poe asked it, he wondered if that was too sensitive a subject or something he shouldn't have just blurted out, but the words were out.

"No." Hux didn't look bothered. He kept playing with the water running down Poe's body, over his abdomen. "Some boys in the academy threatened me with it for a while. They kept trying to corner me. Finally succeeded. But they were interrupted by a teacher. It was only then that I realized they were serious. They said they would use me as a girl, but not having female anatomy …"

Hux smiled and shrugged. "I thought the joke would be on them. I thought they were so dense that the entire assault would just be them tearing my pants and then being disappointed their taunts had been so inaccurate. I didn't realize there were other things they could do.

"Even as a supposedly hormone-ridden teenager, I'd never paid the mechanics of sex any attention. I went to one of the soldiers from Jakku and related what had happened. She explained in graphic terms, that have perhaps stuck with me more than they should have. The two of us took care of the problem in the standard fashion and my father had three fewer students in his class. They had been vocal enough in their heckling that it came up in the investigation. An examination produced no physical evidence of me being assaulted. And I tell you now, truthfully, I was not. But no one was quite sure at the time." Hux giggled.

"However, no one threatened me again." Hux laughed openly now, his hands leaving Poe as Hux moved back a step. "Oh, but my father was so wroth at me and Sloane was nowhere near." Hux shook his head. "Given the noise those three had made, it was assumed  _my father_  had been the one to orchestrate their removal, not me." Hux laughed again, sounding a little unhinged by now. "And as it turned out, he didn't have any kind of alibi, since he hadn't known to prepare one, so it looked awful for him." Hux's inelegant sniggering trailed off into a tired sigh.

Poe shook his head with a concerned look, because this was no laughing matter. Then Poe's face shifted to realization. What he'd been mistaking for the blackest of humor was more along the lines of hysteria. "Ah."

Hux wiped the water from his face, the mirth switching into something more calculating between one wipe and the next. "What are you thinking?"

"Have you ever told anyone else about what happened between you and your father?"

"His death?"

"No, I meant the beatings."

Hux straightened, slicking back his hair out of his eyes and squaring his shoulders. "These things are not the sort of secret in the Order you seem to think it would be. There were witnesses in many cases. What would there be to discuss that anyone would have an interest in?" Hux seemed to realize something, too. "Oh. Would you rather I not speak of it? It upsets you to hear?"

"Hey, no. I want you to tell me. Stop trying to shelter me from things." Poe's voice softened and he touched Hux's shoulders. "I am so glad you trust me with this. So glad. I am interested. In everything that's happened to you. Everything. Even the upsetting stuff."

Hux breathed out and relaxed a little. "Why did you ask in the first place?"

"Because you're a little … jumpy. I was just wondering what I was setting off."

Hux's wariness disappeared. He shook his head. "I don't want you doing that to me. I know we are both exploring … these things between us, but that's not something I want to do. Or to explore doing. Ever."

Poe nodded. "Hey, I got it. You're clear." He paused and then added, "Yeah, okay, maybe some of the things I've been doing seem pushy. Is there other stuff I need to never do?"

Hux sighed. "Just what I've already said. I'm very tired. I don't want to think about it. I love you. Did things go well with your father after I had to leave?" He turned off the shower, shifting it to air dry.

"Oh!" Poe exclaimed. "Yes! That was good. I talked to him, well, obviously most of the rest of the evening. Honestly, I think he was impressed with you keeping your cool. And, uh, kind of like me, he respects that you've taken a stand on the things you've done, that you feel it was right." Poe shrugged. "He doesn't agree with what you've done, but I think he's at the point where he realizes he doesn't have to."

"Good." Hux kissed him on the forehead, then stepped out to get a towel. He handed it off to Poe and reached for a second one for himself. "I'm marrying you, not him, but …" He waved his hand vaguely as though he couldn't summon the energy to finish the sentence.

"You are really tired, aren't you?" Poe asked.

"I'm trying to do this without combat stims," Hux sighed, toweling off.

"Ah, got it. Were you hooked on those things?"

"No, but trying to pull more than two shifts in a row without them is difficult."

"All the preparations leading up to this  _Unification_  thing?" Poe moved to where the pajamas were kept and handed over a set to Hux.

"Yes." Hux began to dress for bed.

"You did great," Poe told him. "You looked great. You sounded great. You impressed my dad. No one tried to kill you. You're a very thoughtful partner. And if the worst thing that happened is you fell on a slave-trading Hutt at the end of the evening, then you're doing pretty good."


	18. Loose Ends

The morning after the  _Unification_  gala, Poe woke in the natural course of things. He felt as wrung out as he normally was after a night of drinking. He was thankful he hadn't let himself get carried away at it. But he still rubbed his eyes as he looked at the far wall of Hux's room. The customary star scape had been replaced by text. It was Basic, straightforward enough but legalistic – something about the right to regulate hyperspace lanes. 'Of' changed to 'from' in one line. He sighed and rolled over. Hux was next to him in bed, datapad on his knees and his back to the headboard.

"Did I wake you?" Hux asked.

"No, I think I just woke up normally." Poe stretched a little and snaked one arm around Hux's nearer foot, hugging it. Hux wiggled his toes against Poe's forearm, but kept right on staring at the datapad. The lights were at ten or twenty percent, which was fine with Poe. He looked back to Hux after a glance around the room. "What are you working on?"

"The constitution. Proof-reading." He tore his eyes away to smile warmly at Poe. "We're nearly there. It's down to small matters of word choice now."

Poe looked at the wall of text with new enthusiasm. "Really? You guys have been working on that for months. Can I read it?"

"Of course." Hux set a bookmark where he was and handed over the datapad. He yawned after Poe took it. "Soon it will be public. Scroll to the top if you want. Let me know if you see anything that needs to be changed. Fresh eyes are helpful. It should take about an hour or so to read. We're trying to keep it short and just cover general principles. Actual laws will come from the Senate."

"You're still going to call it a senate?" Poe asked, scrolling to the beginning as suggested. "I thought they were kicking around other names."

"They were. But there are so many languages! Everyone already knows the meaning of the senate without us calling it a 'congregation' or a 'parliament' and then having to explain that we don't actually mean a religious body or a collection of nocturnal avians. Plus, I'm old fashioned."

Poe snorted. "You are not. You're like a big middle finger to the last fifty years, and probably the last hundred, at least, of the Galactic Republic, given human shape. Now let me read this. At least until I get bored. Which won't take an hour, trust me."

Hux climbed over him to get out of the bed, heading over to get some caf started. "I hate to bother you as you asked me not to, but do you need a hangover treatment?"

"You have those here in your room?" Poe asked with amusement.

"Yes, I do." Hux answered in the same tone, waving a packet of powder where Poe could see it. "It's a necessary supply, one that I am sure to miss when I resign."

"Yeah, I'll take one, but I hope your hard drinking days will be over once you're out of here. Do you have a hangover?"

"No. I was working last night," he said as he prepared the drink. "I drank enough for appearance's sake and no more. I drink heaviest here, off shift, behind a locked door, where I need not go anywhere after, and we're not on alert. Which is why the hangover treatment is also here, where I can get to it the next morning before anyone sees me."

"Smart man." Poe accepted the fizzing orange drink Hux handed him. "Thank you."

"You might need to stir it a little more."

Poe nodded and sipped at it as he went back to reading. The taste was familiar enough that he suspected the First Order got theirs from the same place the Alliance did.

Hux left the lights as they were and did his morning ablutions. Feeling better already, Poe climbed out of bed when Hux moved into the shower. Setting the datapad where he could keep reading it, Poe brushed his teeth and shaved. He stripped off his pajama top after Hux exited the shower. "This is good stuff," Poe said, waving at the text. "Can I talk about this with anyone, or is this one of those things I need to pretend I never saw?"

"No, you can talk about it." Hux finished drying off and moved into the other room. "Lights at half. Hundreds of people have seen it. Mostly legal scholars and politicians. It's not open for public comment, but we definitely want it as right as we can to start with."

Poe left the datapad on the bathroom counter as he followed Hux out. Hux was looking at his knife scabbard as Poe admired his naked, rear-facing profile. "Hey, good-looking," Poe said when Hux glanced back at him and smirked, obviously aware of the observation. "Do you have to go right away this morning, or could I get you back in bed with me?"

"I've already checked the logs from overnight. It was quiet. Nothing I need to deal with personally. What did you have in mind?" Hux put the scabbard back in the drawer it had come from.

Poe gestured at the bed. "Just have a seat on the edge here." Hux sat and Poe went to his knees next to and in front of him, smirking at the way Hux drew himself up. Hux's nostrils flared, eyes widened, and his shoulders went back. Very softly, Poe said, "I thought I needed to try this and see what happened."

Hux reached out and touched his hair, then his cheek, then his shoulder, before dropping his hand back to his side. "I never asked for this."

"You keep mentioning it." He trailed his fingers up Hux's shin.

"So I do. But I don't want to see you like that. Come up to one knee."

"Like this?" Poe adjusted his position to the one knee up, one down, kneeling position like the one Kylo had used when trying to swear fealty to him.

"Yes. It's very … dirty … to be on both knees." Hux pressed his lips around a tight smile. "It's a prisoner's pose. What you're doing now is a sign of obeisance and voluntary submission, rather than forced."

"Ah," Poe said mock-archly. "I thought you wanted to force me to submit."

Hux raised a brow. "I have considered it, as play and I might say so, in jest. But as your willingness to humor me became clearer, the reality of such a thing did as well. I may have changed my mind."

"Yeah? Then that's perfect for what I want to talk about."

"What would that be?"

Poe moved in closer, putting one hand on Hux's thigh and the other on his knee. "Last night, you were really tired. When I asked if you could go over the rules, you said they were the same as before." He bent to apply a single chaste kiss to the top of Hux's thigh. "So let me recap my understanding – no genitals, no ass, no drooling, and I'm not at all sure where we are on kissing on the mouth."

"Ask permission each time," Hux said softly. "Or at least don't surprise me." He toyed with a lock of Poe's hair, rubbing it between his fingers and stroking (or lightly pulling) along the length of it.

"Okay." Poe nodded. "So take it slow and see how that works out. Got it. How about the more involved kissing I wanted to do in the shower?"

Hux dropped his hand to his side. He shook his head and looked away. "That was fine."

Poe looked at the hand that was no longer playing with his hair. "You sure? Doesn't look fine. You were a little hesitant last night, too, which I only caught after I took a moment to think about it."

Hux sighed. "It's just like the kneeling. I am unacceptably inconsistent. I love you, Poe. I really do," he said with a disbelieving shrug. "I let you use my toothbrush! I stayed in the hot tub after I knew you'd … ejaculated and just hoped the filtration system was adequate even though I knew better." Hux shook his head at how stupid that was.

Poe chuckled quietly at Hux seeing that as a dilemma.

Hux went on, "But it shouldn't matter. You're not going to contaminate me and I know that, logically. It's a neurosis. A phobia. Just do whatever you wish."

"Oh no. No." Poe's chuckles expanded to quiet laughter. "Hugs? That's not how this works."

"It's an inhibition and …"

"Yeah. And?"

"How can I expect you to abide by a rule I don't enforce?"

"You tell me what to not do and I don't do it. It's as simple as that."

"But one that I change my mind on so often?"

"I haven't noticed you ever changing your mind about it. You've made exceptions. That's different. You get to do that."

"It's silly. You have to keep asking all the time!"

Poe smiled at him sweetly. "I happen to like asking you things. And you know what? I find you being silly really endearing, too. Keep doing it. You're the kind of practical guy who keeps hangover packets next to his liquor, but what you like and don't like doesn't have to be logical. It can be contradictory even. It can change today from what it was yesterday. That's okay. Doesn't bother me a bit."

Hux sighed and regarded Poe with reservations. "It bothers me. For your sake, things should be simpler. For mine even, I should be easy for you to be with."

Poe chewed his lower lip for a moment. "Listen, if me being the more experienced partner here means anything, then understand this – there is no benefit to either of us for you to twist yourself up trying to rationalize your preferences to me. Or to yourself." Poe leaned in. "I'm not here with you because you're 'easy'. Let's be complicated together – all your silly inhibitions that make things impossible?" Poe grinned lecherously. "I  _like_  them."

Hux stared at him fixedly for a long moment with his lips pressed together, then pulled him close, pressing Poe's face to his chest as he hugged Poe's head. Hux breathed out heavily. Poe reached up and moved the dangling ring out of the way. It had ended up between his temple and Hux's breastbone. Poe could feel Hux breathing into his hair. He ran one hand up Hux's side, stroking smooth skin over light muscle and ribs. He remembered the night when Hux had been drunk and held him like this, that first air kiss and mentioning the possibility of being weepy over Poe. Poe smiled at the memory and rubbed his face on the guy's chest.

When Hux released him, Poe looked up. No tears, but Hux definitely looked happy with him. Poe said, "I think I've got the ground rules down. Now with that given, I have a couple things I want to talk about and see how you feel about them. 'Kay?" Hux nodded. Poe asked, "Do you want to strike me?"

"No." Hux gave him a look like he was insane. "Absolutely not."

"I meant sexually. I should have clarified. That was kind of out of the blue, I'll admit."

"Strike your genitals?" Hux looked torn between being perplexed and laughing. "No. Absolutely not."

"No, I meant," Poe hesitated, because Hux clearly wasn't getting it, "like slap me. Rough me up. Push me around. I'm kneeling here for a reason. And I don't mean doing anything to me right now. We're just talking." Given what they'd done in the shower the night before, it didn't seem that absurd a line of questioning to Poe.

Hux stared at him for a long moment, then said slowly, "No. Absolutely. Not."

Poe drew his head back. With a different partner, he would classify this as a 'you just seriously fucked up' moment and while he suspected that was still true here, Hux had proven before to be exceptionally tolerant. It was enough that Poe hazarded asking for information rather than just dropping the matter. Softly, Poe asked, "What does being a sadist mean on a First Order report?"

Hux continued to regard him soberly for a moment, then said, "It means I'm the sort of person who reviews the interrogation videos for entertainment. As I did  _often_  and still do when I'm bored. But I would retch to see yours now. I have tracked down every record of it and had them destroyed."

Poe remembered being hit, shocked, and threatened, followed by what Kylo had done to him. It hadn't occurred to him they'd filmed it all for later playback, although even barring the possibility of someone watching it for kicks, filming it made sense in case something was missed the first time around. "You saw that?"

Hux tilted his head in a way that was an affirmation. "It was before we were involved."

"Huh," was all Poe said. He knew plenty of people who enjoyed watching simulated violence (at times, himself included). It was easy to dismiss as morally irrelevant. It was more challenging faced with someone who shamelessly watched it happen to real people. He recalled the way Hux had frozen up when Poe had initially tried to explore what he meant about being a sadist. It wasn't shameless, he realized. Hux knew that was wrong. He just trusted Poe enough to discuss it.

"I have struck many people in my life and enjoyed it," Hux continued. "Immensely at times. I might fantasize about having people powerless and pleading before me, but those are not fantasies that involve anyone I care about or have an obligation to. Once we began seeing each other and there was an expectation of treating each other with respect, things changed. Even if my honor allowed it, I don't believe I could bring myself to it any more than I want to see you on both knees before me, degrading yourself." Hux shrugged and allowed, "That being a bit of a special case because you put yourself there, no one else is seeing you, and you don't seem to mind."

"Okay." Poe looked at Hux intently as he said, "Love means you have a duty to keep me safe." Hux nodded. Poe went on, "Hurting me, or demeaning me, is against that. It's dishonorable."

"Yes. Exactly."

"So sadist or not, you're not going to hurt me the same way you wouldn't hurt someone in the Order, but anyone else is fair game."

"The Order is a large and varied thing. I have no reluctance in harming those who need to be removed from it. I'll enjoy it, but I don't do it for the enjoyment itself."

"I got it. 'Sadist, not idiot' – that's what you said. What about the things you did last night? I liked those. You pushed me around some. What you did hurt, but I wanted you to do that."

"If you're enjoying it, I'm not hurt-, well, I suppose I am hurting you, but the point is you're enjoying it. I'm not doing it for myself. I'm doing it for you. That's … another exception." Hux looked briefly annoyed by that.

"Yeah, it is." Poe nodded. "Are you okay with doing it, though? Is it always an exception, or just last night?"

"Always." Hux was quiet for a moment, then licked his upper lip slowly. "I enjoy knowing you lust after me and by whatever means I can encourage that, I will." He gestured at himself. "Including having discussions like this in the nude."

Poe smiled and tilted his head to the side as he realized, "All those times you've stood around in front of me naked wasn't just some First Order thing about having a different culture?"

Hux chuckled. "It was at first, but you keep looking at me. You seem to enjoy it, so of course I let you look."

"You're the best, Hugs."

Hux gave him a pleased look. "But as I have said before, if you have needs I cannot meet, you are free to seek satisfaction elsewhere." Poe shook his head and started to speak. Hux reached out and put two fingers over Poe's lips. Poe glanced down at them and reminded himself that nipping was not allowed. That was too bad. Hux said, "Don't tell me you will never do that. Tell me instead that you will if you need to."

Poe kissed his fingers. Hux drew them away. Poe said, "Here's what I'll tell you: we'll talk about it again if it gets to that point. Right now, I get the biggest kick out of being yours and only yours. It's kind of a denial thing. I like it." He gave Hux a coy smile. "Let me have this one, okay?"

"As you wish."

"Good. I had something else I wanted to try, though." Poe took the hand on Hux's knee and slid it around the opposite side, the inside. He kept his eyes set on Hux's face as he reached gently tickling fingers up the man's inner thigh. "How's this feel?"

"Odd." Hux stiffened and quit looking at Poe's face to watch his hand, staring at it like one might a venomous spider found creeping up one's leg.

Poe laid his hand flat on the warm skin. "Too much?"

"No, I think it's fine." It was half a question. He looked uneasy.

Poe scratched lightly. Hux shifted. Poe stopped, thinking this wasn't working. But then Hux said, "No, I like that." Poe continued, keeping his fingers well south of where underwear would cover. He brushed the back of his fingers against the other inner thigh. Hux spread his legs a few inches. Poe puzzled over that. The man was naked so he could see there was no erection or other sign of arousal. Poe decided that reading that sexually was probably wrong. Maybe Hux just didn't like the sensation and had moved his leg away.

"How about this?" He scratched harder, expecting a flinch, interest, another ambiguous shift or motion – something. Hux didn't move at all aside from tensing, but his expression changed. He gave Poe an incisive look. Eyes slightly narrowed, as intent as a gunner on a target – Kaydel had described it alternately as calculating or inhuman, depending on how much Hux was getting on her nerves that day in negotiations. But Poe's experience with Hux was enough for him to see it less judgmentally, as Hux thinking something over and trying to figure it out. Poe laid his hand flat on Hux's thigh and waited.

"Do you want me to tell the truth or to flatter you?" Hux asked, his tone gentle in contrast to his almost stern expression.

Poe smiled and let his face fall against Hux's leg as he laughed sadly at himself. "Okay, this isn't working out for me this morning. Two in a row, down in flames. Oh, Hugs. I'm trying." He looked up and rolled his eyes at his partner. "Tell me the truth. Always."

Hux smiled and reached out to cup the side of Poe's face. He looked amused. "I see that you're trying. I appreciate it. The truth is that it did feel good, except that last. But it does nothing for me the way a massage makes me relaxed and bone-deep content, or the lovely frisson I get from you touching my hair. I think you have misunderstood me, because you keep trying these things when you already have it."

"I already have what?"

"You know how to please me. To put it plainly: I do not want to be stimulated. It's upsetting. As you mentioned before, I'm 'oversensitive', and you know that, but you keep trying to excite me anyway. I don't have a normal human sexual response."

"There's nothing abnormal about you," Poe interrupted.

"Normal people have lovers and children."

"So do you. 'A' lover. And," Poe smiled, "the whole First Order. You called them your children."

Hux smiled gently. "That is true. But. I would prefer to get the release you are offering in a non-sexual fashion. Stop hunting for it elsewhere."

Poe opened his mouth to argue and then snapped it back shut. It wasn't until Hux put it that directly that he realized what he'd been doing, or at least what it looked like he was doing in trying to find other, or 'better', ways to please his partner. "Yeah, okay. I need to learn from going down in flames twice in a row. I had a feeling last night I was being too pushy that's why I wanted to talk about all this with you this morning. And you've … you've been clear on what you wanted from the start. I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted. Come here." He took Poe's hands and stood, urging him up.

Poe stood, smiling tightly at how Hux hadn't told him he had nothing to be sorry about. It reminded him of a similar exchange with Kylo Ren, the first day Kylo had been on the  _Restitution_. The verbal contract of apology and acceptance must have been more common in the Order, whereas in the Republic, it was more normal (though less satisfying) to be told you hadn't done anything wrong to start with. Poe found he preferred the Order's way of calling it like it was and moving on instead of a polite pretense that denied closure for either party. "I've been bickering with you all morning, haven't I? You say things and I tell you you're wrong."

Hux kissed him on the temple. "Only once. The rest was useful because we weren't seeing things from the other's perspective. For example, I will never treat you as my father treated me. Now, put your arm around me. And the other here." Hux took Poe's left arm and put it around his lower back. With some difficulty in positioning, he put Poe's right in such a way his arm was around his shoulder and hand on the back of Hux's head.

"Oh kriff. Hugs, I didn't think." Poe shook his head apologetically, "I wasn't thinking of it that way." Trying to talk to Hux about hitting and sadism, and even scratching the inside of his thigh was suddenly sickening. Poe felt like the most insensitive clod to have not thought about how any of that might come off to someone with Hux's past. That long look Hux had given him took on an entirely new meaning. "You are so patient with me," Poe whispered.

Poe felt Hux's chuckle more than he heard it. "Patience is a requirement, and you have aptly demonstrated it in dealing with me." Hux put his arms around Poe. "The less we think of my father, the better. I prefer to think of this," Hux said, hugging him. "This is precisely what I want – soothed, not aroused. Give me this, and be pleasant to me, and I will give you anything within my power."

Everything else Poe knew about Hux clicked into place with the directions. "You're not the adrenaline junkie I am. You've been wound up enough in your life," Poe said. "I missed the ship entirely."

"I think not. You just needed a course correction. This is was what you offered me to start with, back on Naboo. You had an excellent sense of what I needed. It was too perfect to be luck."

"I knew you needed to relax, but I see how it all fits together now," Poe said, ruffling the hair on the back of Hux's head, then combing his fingers upward through the short hair. Hux made a noisy, pleased sigh and sank against him in exactly the sort of pleasure Poe had been trying to give him. "Let me take a wild guess about something – you've always had grooming droids do your hair, right?"

"Yes," Hux said like this was obvious. "There are no slaves on military ships."

"Slaves?"

"Who else would do such a thing?" Hux tried to straighten.

"Easy, buddy. I'm not done. Come back here." Poe let him get away, but then lured him back in by raising both hands to his head and massaging. "Has anyone in your life ever touched your head like this?"

"Ad-" Hux swallowed and shifted. He flushed and shut his eyes. "Admiral Sloane. A few times. When I was a boy. Not- not quite like this. Nothing inappropriate. It was, um, a gesture of approval, I think."

"She patted you on the head?"

"Yes. That. And sometimes mussed my hair. No one else touched me."

"Ever?"

"Not in a kind way. Why would they?"

"Because human beings and most social sentient beings need supportive social, physical contact with one another. Some species die without it. You don't have to be a scientist to know that. Maybe you had it from your mother, but once you left there? Well, I guess Rae Sloane was it. She made a big impression, didn't she?"

"She saved my life," Hux said sharply. "Or at least that's how I've always thought of it. I have been touched by other people than her, you know."

Poe leaned up and pulled Hux's head down, kissing him on the forehead. "Not here. Not like this."

"She never kissed me. Arguably, you've made a bigger impression than she has. I intend to live the rest of my life with you."

"Because I'm doing this to you," Poe said as though this proved his argument.

"Because you're willing to." Hux's voice choked up.

Poe opened his mouth and shut it. Hux's face was turned down, eyes shut, mussed hair concealing his features, but Poe was sure of what he'd heard. "You okay, buddy?"

Hux nodded. He swallowed roughly and joked, "You filthy rebels want to touch everyone. I know how you are."

Poe grinned and fondled one of Hux's ears, watching the way the man's nose wrinkled up and he squirmed. Hux gave Poe a snarly grin and pulled his head out of Poe's hands.

"Stop that!" Hux chided him, then hugged him again and put Poe's hands back as they'd been before – one on the back of his head, the other on his back. "More of this instead, if I may be so bold as to ask."

"Oh yeah," Poe said. "Order me around. You want this? I can give you this."

"You act like this is so common. I do not believe it is. Even among the Rebels."

"Well, it should be."

Hux sighed and smoothed his hands up and down Poe's back as Poe ran his through the man's fine, orange hair. Hux's face was cheek to cheek with his, bare body against him. Poe varied the path of his hand, then switched to scratching and after that, massaging from the back with his fingers splayed. Hux made sensual, purring noises right in his ear that were making Poe stand at attention lower down. He was glad he'd left his pajama bottoms on, as the layer of cloth might have been why Hux said nothing. Hux had to be feeling it..

Poe grinned to himself. "You're taking me at my word on that denial thing, aren't you?"

"How do you mean?"

"Ah, never mind. This is great. Let's just keep doing this."

Hux swayed from one side to the other, which put an extra level of stimulation on Poe's front. "I enjoyed dancing with you at the gala."

"Yeah? Me, too." Poe wondered what the hell Hux was doing.

"We should do it more often. I've never danced with a partner I had much regard for." Hux added a shift of his hips that Poe was certain was intentional. The guy was grinding on him. Or turning himself so the side of his hip was doing the grinding.

"I was surprised you'd danced at all," Poe said, clearing his throat and looking upward. He could only assume he was supposed to ignore this.

"As I mentioned last night, we learned at the academy. Then when I was on the Downs, I attended the officer's graduation party as part of the staff. We were required to dance a few rounds to encourage the teenagers to get out on the floor." Hux was definitely holding him tighter. The slight rubbing was all kinds of delicious.

Poe cleared his throat again, finding himself breathing harder. "You're doing this on purpose, right?"

"Doing what?"

Poe chuckled at the obviously faux innocence. "Trying to get me off?"

"I'm doing nothing of the sort." Poe said nothing, because Hux was not that naïve and his tone was teasing when Poe knew he had enough vocal control to lie perfectly, should he so choose. Hux went on more seriously, "I'm enjoying how much you want me. If I should stop, let me know."

Poe kissed Hux's shoulder, resisting the impulse to do more. "As long as you let me get off later. I can hold out for now." He didn't want to, but he would.

"'Let' you? That's ridiculous. Do it whenever you want."

"Like right now?"

"As long as you don't interrupt what you're doing for me, then why would I care?"

"Oh." Poe shifted the hand from Hux's lower back into his own pajamas, then tried to figure out how to continue messing with the guy's hair as before. The angles were different because he'd stepped back for space and Hux had straightened.

"Let me sit on the bed again." Hux moved to do as he'd said. "Stand between my legs."

"Okay."

Hux put one arm loosely behind Poe's thighs and his cheek against Poe's midsection. It made it easier for Poe to touch his head and Hux wasn't having to bend over as he usually did given their height difference (or even more, once Poe had stepped back). Poe angled his hips to the side and kept his pajama bottoms over everything because Hux's face was fairly close to waistline. He spat in his other hand for some lubrication and pretended he didn't feel the momentary grimace Hux's face made against his body.

"This is perfect," Poe said. He was an excellent pilot partly because he could disengage one hand from the other, never having had trouble with the 'rub your stomach and pat your head at the same time' challenge. He'd never thought his coordination would have this application – pumping at himself while fondling his lover's hair.

Hux made plenty of appreciative sounds, then began to run his fingers up one of Poe's buttocks. "You like this?"

"As much of that as you'll give me," Poe panted. "Squeeze, claws, rub, whatever. I'm not going to be long at this. You've been turning me on all morning – politics, sex, all that bare skin …."

Hux chuckled and let his hand roam freely on Poe's backside. Poe made a fist several times in Hux's hair, glorying in the moans Hux made and the way Hux clenched his hand into Poe's ass cheek when he did it. As he'd expected, he came quickly. Hux leaned away from him after he was done, shaking his head to disentangle Poe's hand. "Thank you. I've had enough." He stroked lightly up and down Poe's thigh. "Go clean up. I'll order in breakfast for us and get dressed."

Poe bent to him, pressing his forehead against Hux's for long seconds.

"I love you," Hux whispered.

Poe shut his eyes and nodded. "I love you, too."


	19. Marriage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a fairly private ceremony of less than a hundred people, held at a community center on Yavin IV, not far from Poe's father's home. There is no priest, although there is an officiant who guides the ceremony. The pair stands on a platform before the gathering, with a few of their closest friends beside them, and give ritualized oaths to protect and care for one another. They exchange rings, then make promises as a couple to their closest friends to the effect of 'my friends are your friends and we're all one big group of friends now'.
> 
> I'm still trying to work out what that means for Phasma and Finn. But that would be a different story. :)

Hux was fine until the ring slid up his finger, cool metal, smooth and sized for him. That was when it all became real in a way the plans and hopes and promises never had been. That was when he looked into the dark eyes of a smiling man who had no reason to love him whatsoever … yet did anyway. And for so little reason.

Hux's mind kept cycling back to that. He had nothing to offer in return that was the equal of the regard and concern Poe constantly showed for him. There was no service, no payment, no term of fealty given with an oath on bent knee that would equal the way Poe made him feel. The way he felt right now, with that ring on his finger, put there by Poe Dameron in a public ceremony affirming and declaring by his word of honor that Poe would love and cherish him for the rest of his life in a commitment that surpassed any the Order allowed between members.

He felt like he must have tricked Poe into this at some point. Because the only sense in which anyone had looked at Hux for the last thirty years and said, 'You deserve this', had been as a prelude to pain. Even his promotions had not truly been rewards – merely a recognition that his capabilities had not yet been fully exploited. No one had ever given him the things Hux wanted out of life. Hux had taken them. Except for Poe. He'd never had to 'take' Poe. He'd never had to demand anything from him. From the start on Naboo, Poe had given. And given. And given. Even today, although the bond between them was supposed to be mutual, Hux still felt like he had nothing comparable to exchange in return for what Poe so effortlessly provided.

An unexpected, unwelcome wetness streaked down both of his cheeks like a dripping faucet. It came out of nowhere, just like this welter of feelings he couldn't process and the knot in his throat he couldn't swallow around. He blinked and struggled to breathe as his nose became stuffy and the tears didn't stop. Poe gave him the most tender, amazed smile, looking so touched that Hux couldn't pull his eyes away. Hux's mouth twisted and he shifted his weight, but he couldn't look down at the ring or at Poe's hands gently gripping his own. He could feel them. He flinched when his tears hit them, but he couldn't stop looking at Poe's eyes as if searching for an answer to a question he couldn't bring himself to ask.

The man was serious. There was a crushing weight building in Hux's chest, like his heart had stopped beating and his body just hadn't collapsed yet. The pain in his throat seeped down into his torso. His shallow breaths were gasping. It seemed like this would all be easier to take if it had all been an elaborate, months-long prank. If he didn't have to deal with the reality – a cold, unfamiliar weight on his finger and warm, familiar hands holding his.

He thought about that evening on the  _Finalizer_  when he'd been so drunk and wanted to burst into tears for Poe holding him so sweetly and refusing to take advantage of him – not even a little bit. He wouldn't have wanted it, but he would have tolerated it as an acceptable cost. He would have done anything to secure the relationship that was growing between them. He still would. But he didn't have to do anything at all. He'd wanted to cry then. He was crying now. In front of everyone. Because he still didn't deserve it.

"I shouldn't be seen like this," he breathed out. "I'm ruining it."

Poe released his hands and gently touched his upper arms. "It's perfectly normal to be emotional. This is all about emotions. Let 'em see." The orange and white astromech droid who had delivered the rings to them and still rested near made questioning beeps. Poe waved it off with a quick, "I'll explain later, buddy." It rolled a little further away.

"I don't want emotions," Hux whispered. "I want to stop leaking." He wiped angrily at his eyes, feeling like a child. A baby. The last time he'd cried had been some thirty years ago. He'd thought his father had beaten this particular act out of him. He turned away from the gathering so they wouldn't see him as he struggled to get control of himself. He tried running through the previously reliable methods for calming himself in the wake of trauma or mental invasion, but they were no help at all for this. Rejecting outside control was all well and good, but this problem came from inside himself.

Hux stared at the floor fixedly and breathed through his mouth. Drops continued to plink down with alarming frequency. Everything was blurred. His stomach was spasming and his shoulders shaking. He had to hope it wasn't visible. Hope was all he could do. He was helpless; the tears weren't stopping. He felt broken and humiliated. This lack of control only proved he wasn't the strong, stalwart man Poe deserved. No one deserved a sobbing defect. It wasn't normal. It wasn't right.

Poe slipped a strong, supportive arm around his waist. Surely he could feel the stupid twitching that Hux couldn't control any more than the saline coming out of his eyes and the snot wetting his upper lip. The growing murmur of the crowd helped nothing. It just reminded him he was a failure, wasting their time with an outburst fit for an infant, and yet forcing them to watch such come from a grown man of his stature. He felt embarrassed on their behalf.

This was not the time to seize up. He couldn't hide. He couldn't do anything. "I can't do this," Hux whispered desperately to Poe. "I can't make it stop. I can't calm down. I don't know what's wrong with me." He turned a little towards Poe to speak to him and Poe embraced him. It wasn't part of the script for the ceremony, which added one more layer of confusion. He couldn't even think about what step came next, but he was sure this wasn't it. Hux tried to hold himself stiff, but he was trembling continuously. He could hardly breathe.

"It's okay," Poe said softly. "There's nothing wrong. You're crying. You know what crying is, right?"

"I'm not an imbecile!" he snapped, his voice croaking. He grimaced and turned his face away sharply, because a fucking sob had escaped him. The crowd murmured louder; his voice had carried. If he could judge from the sound, it was disapproval and amusement. His face was hot and he was gasping now. His hands clenched into fists.

Hux tried to keep his voice low. "Of course I know what crying is!" He'd been trying to deny that was what was happening and that instead, he was having some kind of seizure or unexplained malady. It was so much easier to accept than crying like the oversensitive child his father had always accused him of being. He had not cried since they'd left Arkanis. It was beneath him. Yet here he was doing it anyway.

Poe stroked his back, trying to be comforting. "It's okay. All you have to do is stand here and nod."

"I can't," he hissed. "I can't do that. I can't. I can't, Poe." He felt pathetic to have such inability, but his thinking was getting muddled. He shook his head slowly and the room swayed. Or maybe he did. Everything was already blurry but it seemed to dim as well. Then he couldn't see and didn't want to. For a moment, he didn't care about anything at all. His mind was well and truly blank, like he'd finally achieved the dissociation he'd been trying for earlier. His next conscious awareness was of Poe leading him off the dais and to the small staging room near the it. It was all he could do to keep his feet and go where he was directed.

With the door shut behind him, Hux covered his face with one hand and hugged Poe with the other, sobbing abruptly, messily, and as quietly as he could manage – which wasn't very quietly. He was wrecked. Hysterical. He couldn't stop. He was shaking and weak and standing only because Poe was holding him up. But he'd no more lost control of himself than the door opened to expose him all over again. He made a choked gasp and cringed away like a whipped dog. He fumbled for the knife that wasn't there on his arm, remembering leaving it off as a token of his respect for Poe, despite the crowd and publicity and danger. He'd been a fool to do that.

Poe knew full well what he was grabbing for, though. Poe hesitated for a moment with one hand up, watching because Hux hadn't told him he'd left it aside. "Easy," was all he said. When Hux's hand remained empty (infuriatingly impotent, from Hux's point of view), Poe turned to the door. "Hey."

It was Finn, who above all others, Hux did want to see him like this. Hux wanted to shoot him. Stab him. Run away. Something. And the feeling was all the more intense when Finn asked, "Can I help?"

"Yeah," Poe said in a steady voice. "Stand outside the door and don't let anyone else in."

Hux breathed out when the door shut, grateful that Poe had a graceful solution to the busybody – give him an assignment that made sure there wouldn't be another interruption. And it bought Hux more time to recover from the fit he was having.

"I love you," Poe told him, moving slowly back to him, as though he were so unstable he might bolt if subjected to quick movements. "I love you so much." He extended his arms and Hux moved into the embrace. Hux wanted to say something back, but he didn't trust his voice. He pressed himself to Poe as firmly as he could. Emotions flooded through him all over again as Poe wrapped his arms around him firmly and rocked them slowly side to side. A new round of quieter sobs racked him. They faded far more slowly than Hux wanted them to.

"I don't know why you want me," Hux said brokenly. "I'm useless as a slip of paper. A mongrel. A waste. Good for nothing. You should not marry me. There's no reason. I've done what you wanted. There's nothing-"

"Hey!" Poe said firmly and emphatically, "NO. No, Hux." Poe pulled back to cup Hux's face. "Armitage Hux? I want you. You got that?"

"I'm not worth it."

"You're  _wrong_."

Hux wiped again at his face and looked away. "I'm dripping on you," Hux said sadly, because that was proof of his weakness and dysfunction.

"Good," Poe said. He took Hux's chin and turned his face back. "I like your bodily fluids on me. We gotta do this more often. It's sexy."

Somehow, a snorted laugh found its way into the weeping. It was too much for his nose to contain.

Poe glanced sideways at him. "Nose ejaculation, huh? That was quick. Wipe that snot all over me, man. It's a badge of honor."

"No!" Hux said, scandalized. He pulled away, covering his mouth and nose. "I would not do that to you. That's disgusting."

Poe pulled the decorative handkerchief from his breast pocket and offered it. "Blow your nose in this then." Hux hesitated. "Go ahead. It's what it's for. I like helping you. It's part of my hero complex or something. Come on."

Hux took it with a sigh and blew his nose as thoroughly as possible. "What do we do now? I ruined your ceremony. Everyone's out there."

Poe smiled at him just like he had when he'd slipped the ring on him. "Hugs.  _You love me_." He put his hands on Hux's upper arms again. "All this emotion? It's because  _you kriffing love me!_  You're not ruining anything." Poe's smile broadened and his eyes watered. "You're showing me – you're showing all of them – that you are so excited and thrilled about being with me that the moment I put that ring on you fall to pieces? A man like you?"

Poe pressed his hands on Hux's arms. "This is the best thing that has ever happened to me." Poe blinked a few times as a couple tears streaked down his face as well. "Seeing you moved like that was the biggest rush I've ever had. Considering some of the combats I've been in, that's saying a lot."

Hux watched the tears on Poe's cheeks. He supposed if Poe was crying too, then it couldn't be awful to do so. He forced himself to draw in a deep, unsteady breath. "I'm doing what I'm supposed to? I'm being … what you want? This?" He gestured at the complete mess of himself that he felt like.

"Yeah," Poe said slowly and emphatically. "And everyone out there who has a heart is going to understand that you have one, too. The ones who don't, I don't care about. Okay?"

Hux nodded.

"And that stuff you said earlier? Do you think I'm okay, that I'm a stand-up guy?"

"Yes."

"You think I have good judgment?"

"Yes. Definitely."

"Then listen to me when I tell you - I think you're worth it. The whole kriffing galaxy needs to get down on their knees in prayer and thanks that you took the ultimate power and  _you gave it away_. And not because you didn't know how to use it – you did. Not because you didn't want it – you did. Not because it was hard or it wouldn't work out in the end or people would think less of you – none of that. But because you knew it wasn't right to have one person in charge of the galaxy.

"You didn't let it corrupt you. Far as I can tell, you weren't even tempted! You didn't do that for me, or because I asked you to, or because I would have left you if you didn't. You did it because of  _you_. I was just along for the ride, cheering on the sidelines. I admire the hell out of you, Hux."

"I did it because you would have me."

Fresh tears marked Poe's face. "Good. Because I'm keeping you. That's what that ring's about."

Hux nodded unevenly. It felt good and sickening at the same time to hear all of that. He tried to take another deep breath, but he found it hitching in his chest like his body wasn't quite done crying. "This is frustrating. I can't breathe properly."

"You're doing fine." Poe touched the side of his neck, then briefly teased at the back of Hux's neck. "I know you told me earlier not to mess up your hair, or I'd be doing more. Did you know you passed out earlier?"

"What?" The surprise at the question seemed to help dispel the lingering nerves.

"You got so worked up you fainted. Kylo kept you up. I don't think anyone noticed but us up on the platform."

Hux sighed and rolled his eyes. "No end of indignities," he muttered. Tritt would never let him live that down. At least Phasma was polite enough to never mention it. He hoped.

"You know what's going to keep me going when we have trouble?" Poe asked. "Because we will. It's going to happen. But what will keep me going is remembering this. That marrying me was so important to you that it just took you all apart." Poe teared up a third time, shaking his head in amazement. "That being with me matters so much to you that it would have literally taken a man of your strength to your knees. Hugs – don't be ashamed about how you feel."

Hux breathed out heavily and pulled Poe into his arms for a fierce embrace. He pressed his damp cheek to Poe's temple. They stood together for a few moments more until Hux said, "Let's go finish the ceremony, if they're still out there. I won't leave it half-done."

Poe chuckled. "They're still out there. Trust me, if I know anything about people, every one of them wants to see this." They cleaned each other up more, straightened clothes, and Hux marched back out with as dignified an expression as he could muster.


	20. Patience

"Are you okay?" Rey asked Hux as they mingled in the reception following the ceremony.

"I'm fine."

There was something about the emotionless tone of Hux's response that got Poe's attention more than any answer in the negative would have. It made him think about the concern he'd heard in Rey's voice. He looked over to see Hux standing very poised as usual. Very pale, also as usual. His gaze flitting randomly, focusing on people for a second or two, then sliding away to an unfocused moment paired with a slight parting of lips before repeating the cycle for the next breath. That was not usual.

Poe looked at Rey, who was looking at him intently. She didn't have to tell him anything mentally for him to know what she was trying to communicate. He thought loudly at her,  _I know. I see it._

He moved next to his newly minted husband and raised himself on his toes to whisper in Hux's ear. "You need a break?"

Hux turned his head slightly to whisper back very earnestly, "Yes, please."

Poe bit back the desire to tell Hux he should have said something earlier or taken the initiative and excused himself. Hux was an adult, familiar with large gatherings and high stakes diplomatic events. One might think he should be able to handle a wedding or at least be expected to know his own limits at one. Then again, that Hux was struggling was just another indication that he was so deeply emotionally invested that he didn't know what to do with himself. The guy had been pole-axed by his feelings more thoroughly than Poe had expected. He put a hand on the small of Hux's back and guided him to a side room.

This one was set up as an office with a desk and a table, two chairs around the table and one on either side of the desk. Hux went to the table and stood next to it, half turned so he could see the door in his peripheral vision, but otherwise staring at the wall blankly.

"What can I do for you?" Poe asked gently.

"Don't talk to me," Hux said with the same flat tone. "Don't look at me. Don't touch me."

Poe blinked and took a full step back. He dropped his eyes. He wasn't offended by this, nor did he take it personally. Not on the heels of Hux bawling his eyes out for Poe just an hour earlier. The guy was obviously overwhelmed. Poe realized from Hux's words that he had been (somewhat) wrong in thinking Hux was unaware of his limits. Poe asked, "Do you want me to leave?"

"No."

Poe nodded and sat in the chair in front of the desk. He leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees. He looked down and played with the ring Hux had put on his finger. It was superficially similar to the one Poe had given Hux, but it had five stripes etched into it, circling the band. There was one near either end and three closer to one another in the middle. They were grand marshal's stripes for the First Order.

Poe was perplexed by that. Was it saying he was the property of the grand marshal? Or that the ring was? He hadn't had a chance to ask, having seen the ring only briefly a few days before when they'd double-checked the sizing. They'd been busy the whole time, with scarcely a moment to themselves, even at night. On the inside of the band, it said 'Armitage Hux; Grand Marshal (Ret.); Token' with a serial number. Why put your own name on someone else's ring? If it was the property/labeling angle, then why was the name discreetly etched on the interior where it couldn't be casually seen? And what did 'Token' mean?

Poe remembered Hux's initial misunderstanding of Poe's mother's ring. He'd called that a token. Had Hux similarly misunderstood the wedding ring custom? Or did this mean something? Poe rotated it on his finger, thinking this would be a good time to ask except Hux had told him to shut it.

The guy didn't want anything to do with anyone at the moment. But he wanted Poe in the room with him. When everything else was too much for him – he still wanted Poe near.

"Could you get me a drink?" Hux asked, as though he'd heard that thought and needed to contradict it.

"Sure." Poe stood. He shot Hux a glance, but Hux was still looking away. Poe let himself out. He returned with a tumbler of Corellian whiskey, neat, and a flute of the standard champagne they'd bought in bulk for the event. Poe went to set the whiskey on the table, but Hux intercepted it. Their fingers touched briefly as he took the glass. Poe retreated back to the chair, taking a drink of the champagne.

He was unsurprised that Hux didn't actually drink the liquor he'd asked for. Poe didn't think that had anything to do with the choice of beverage. It was only nerves that had led Hux to ask for it. And maybe a desire to show control of his world by ordering Poe to do something. Or he needed to see if help was available, if Poe would help him, and the easiest way to get a positive indication was to ask Poe to do some small service.

Poe didn't know. Nor did he care. Hux wanted it; then Hux was going to get it if Poe had anything to say about it. To his experience, Hux didn't ask for unreasonable things. Poe sat in silence listening to the bubbles effervesce in his drink and the murmur of voices and music from outside.

He considered that he didn't know Armitage Hux very well. Was he an alcoholic? Was he addicted to other things? Did he have bad habits Poe would find difficult to deal with if they lived together constantly? Would he be able to tolerate Poe's habits? Did he have any spiritual beliefs? Could he cook? Could he navigate a market and buy things for himself rather than requisition them from a commissary? What would he need to adapt to the free-wheeling life outside the highly structured First Order? It had been Poe's father who pointed out the post-military transition both of them would go through, having gone through it himself.

Poe took another drink. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hux either mime doing the same, or actually take a tiny sip. It occurred to Poe that an hour after their commitment ceremony was a really poor time to be considering questions like this. His father had been right to point out the lack of time they'd spent together – a few dozen waking hours at the outside. But what they had more than time was resolve, maturity, and a willingness to be patient with one another. That was more important than anything else.

For example, Hux had agreed to marriage thinking it was merely cohabitation and could be ended as easily as moving out. Poe had later talked him through what  _he_  had meant by it – lifelong commitment, sexual fidelity, being one another's primary emotional support, having faith and trust in one another, honesty, and providing safety and security to one another. Hux had consented to that changed definition no matter how much broader it was than the image Hux must have had in mind to start with. Just as he'd agreed to this public ceremony, which also hadn't been part of Hux's original expectation – a ceremony he was obviously having trouble getting through, having already passed out, had an anxiety attack, and was now having another.

Poe took another drink. This was all Poe's idea – the marriage, the ceremony, Yavin IV, ending the guy's career and yanking him away from every social and institutional support Hux had ever known. Of course the man was stressed out! Poe chewed his lip.

Hux moved over next to him, transferring his glass to the further hand and letting the nearer one rest on Poe's back. Poe was still leaning forward with his weight on his arms, elbows braced on his knees. Hux's leg was in contact with the outside of Poe's thigh. Poe sighed heavily. He took such joy in this – in being a comfort to Armitage Hux, who needed it. It thrilled Poe to know that simply by sitting here patiently, quietly, he'd helped. Hux straightened Poe's collar, which surely didn't need it, but it meant Hux curled his fingers inside the fabric so the back of his fingers brushed against Poe's neck. It was ticklish. Poe made a deep chuckle and squirmed a little. Hux patted his shoulder in response.

"Thank you," Hux said. "Thank you for letting me get my feet back under me. We can go back out now."

"Do you want to stay in here a little longer?" Poe asked, looking to the side at Hux's polished boots.

Hux hesitated. "Yes."

"Me too," Poe said, staying where he was. "Let me guess – you were soldiering on out there because you thought that was required?"

"It is."

"Yes and no," Poe allowed. "I see what you're doing for me here. It's so much, I don't even know where to begin."

Hux drew over another chair and settled in next to Poe. "If I have anything to do with it, this will be the only wedding you ever have. I would hate myself if it turned out badly for you."

"There won't be another." Poe glanced up at him briefly, not entirely sure a direct look was allowed. He didn't strictly need one, anyway. He twisted the ring on his finger. "I have a question about this."

"Yes?"

"Why does it have your name on it if it's my ring?"

"So people know whose token it is. Though I suppose the rank stripes indicate that well enough."

Poe gave him a longer look. "Token? What does that mean?"

"It stands for me. That's a challenge token," Hux said, reading the uncertainty on Poe's face. "Do you know what a challenge token is? Did the Alliance not use them?"

Poe shook his head blankly. "Never heard of it."

"A person of high rank in the Order might have a need to empower someone else to speak or act as with their authority. To prove their permission to do this, the empowered party would carry a token unique to the other – usually a coin or a badge, but sometimes a signet ring or similar – to show any who challenged them that they were acting as the authorized agent of the one with higher rank. It was not something done lightly, because the one who owned the token could be prosecuted for any misbehavior or poor orders carried out in their name."

Poe inhaled in surprise. "This is like a temporary rank?"

"You're my husband. For you, it would be permanent. You carry that always. Correct?"

"Yes." Poe's voice was a whisper. He covered his mouth with his right hand, staring at the ring. He looked up at Hux. "This is legal? You can just … promote me? Into the First Order?"

Hux smiled. "Sort of. But yes, Poe. I can. I can decide that you are me. It's like a power of attorney. Even with the Order absorbed into the new government, my name means something. Those former members of the Order will know what that means and they are the backbone of the new military. This is what protection I can give you. It's not the same as what you gave me," Hux touched his wedding band, "but it's what I have."

"It's incredible." He looked down at the ring again, amazed. "I am the grand marshal of the First Order?"

"You are the  _retired_  grand marshal of the First Order. Yes. And of the Republic."

"Wait, the Republic? They don't have grand marshals."

"They did. Briefly. One." Poe cocked his head. Hux explained, "The legal team decided it was inappropriate to have the new government founded by an outsider. So I was inducted as a citizen of the Republic and installed at full rank, even though it is a rank no one has held before or will again. A few minutes later, I empowered the interim committee in their business and shortly thereafter resigned. They're still working out what retirement from the Order means, but as I also retired from the Republic military, that makes me a bit of a special case. They'll hash it out eventually."

Poe covered his mouth again. "You were the whole government for a moment?"

"A few minutes. Several people were very tense about this, which was ridiculous because it never would have reached that stage if I didn't intend to carry through with it."

Poe nodded. He looked back at the ring. "Is this … no, this can't be common for marriage in the Order. Is it? Or friendship? Life debt? When does this happen?"

"It was a custom that came from some of the noble houses of the Empire, most commonly used between parent and heir. But since inheritance is not observed that way in the Order, it tended to be granted based on trust and loyalty. It is legally recognized. Was, that is. And it may continue to be depending on how they set up military law.

Hux continued, "It's almost unheard of for it to be used for anything other than specific tasks or missions, but there are no limits on how long it can be in play with someone. The idea was that if you could not be immediately on hand for an action, and your subordinate needed the authority of your rank to properly command in the action, then you could empower them with your token and then demote them without dishonor later when the token was returned."

Poe was grinning. He traced the five stripes on the band. "You should have explained that to me before. Can I tell people?"

Hux's brows drew together slightly in puzzlement. "Well, yes. Everyone who would honor it already knows what it means."

"Finn knows!" Poe said in realization. "But he hasn't had a chance to look at it, has he? All he saw was a ring, right?"

"I don't know that he ever looked at it closely, no." Hux looked pleased with Poe's reaction. "Let's go back outside so you can impress your friends. You obviously want to."

"Do I ever. This is cool!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Challenge coins are a well-established custom in the US military. However, they are primarily used for social status and determining who buys drinks (or pizza, or performs some menial task, etc.)
> 
> The idea of the authority to give orders being symbolized through some transferable object is present in many military histories.
> 
> Given that Hux has retired/resigned, the authority is ceremonial only. More important is that if Poe was ever in a tight spot, he could prove his relationship to someone of great prior status in a way that's not just 'Hey, I'm his husband', but is 'I'm his husband and his legal agent, because he trusts me that much. Would you be doing this to him? No? Then you shouldn't be doing it to me.'


	21. Byplay

"Do they not have sex?" Rose asked.

"What?" Finn looked to her. "Poe and Hux?" She nodded. "I don't know. Why?"

"Well, I overheard Hux say earlier to someone that Poe had told him he was a hotshot pilot who wouldn't rest until he'd 'hit that' and so now Poe would never rest. Then Poe laughed. It was an agreeing laugh, like it was funny and true. They just got married. But they don't have sex?"

Finn shrugged. "I guess not."

"What do they do? Are they just good friends?"

"I think they just … sleep and eat together. That's not strange."

"It's not?"

"No?"

"But to be married?"

Finn turned his hands up helplessly at her.

"Is that how it is in the Order?" she asked.

"I guess so? Sometimes? I don't know. I didn't spend time with the officers. Most of us, the troopers, didn't think about that kind of thing very much. We couldn't  _get_  married even if we wanted to. Besides, we already lived with each other in the barracks. What would be the point? It's not like they'd give us private quarters."

Rose looked over at Poe. "Did he know that when they got involved? Or … I don't even know if that counts as involved. I guess they're involved. Married, and all."

"Yeah, I think he knew," Finn said. "Back on Naboo, he said they didn't do anything. They just, um, I don't know. Spent time together. Talked, I guess. The way he said it, I took it to mean no sex. He talks all the time about how much they love each other, but he doesn't talk about what they do. I don't think Hux is into that stuff. He said as much before Poe ever went anywhere with him."

"I don't think I've ever seen them so much as kiss."

"They kissed in the ceremony," Finn pointed out. "There at the end. They kissed for like, a long time."

Rose nodded and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I know. I saw that. But that was part of the ceremony. They're supposed to. I mean day to day. Like we do."

"Poe told me they kissed once."

"Once?"

"I don't know!" Finn was starting to get flustered. "It's not my sex life and honestly, the less I think about Hux getting it on with anyone, the better." He shrugged. "Maybe they kiss more than that. But Poe said it was the first time they'd kissed. He was real excited about it. It was just a couple months ago. I told him that was weird, but I think he likes being different."

Finn groused, "He sure likes telling us about it. Kaydel and I tried to get a 'Poe doesn't get to talk about Hux' ban, but Rey and Steel kept shooting it down. Kylo said something about feeling the emotions when he really got going. I think they like it." Finn shook his head and rolled his eyes.

Rose smiled. "I think I'd like that, too, Finn! If I could feel something like that through the Force? Of course they wouldn't want to stop him!"

Finn sighed. "It can get tiresome. It's like Steel's idea of good music."

"Oh." The enthusiasm drained from Rose's tone. "Yeah, okay. The same thing over and over again?"

"Right!" Finn nodded emphatically.

"At least it's working for them," Rose said. "I'd heard a lot about Poe from before, so I was just surprised to overhear that today."

"You mean something other than being a pilot and stuff?"

"Yeah. He has a reputation and not just as a hero. He's been with a lot of people. Real casual. It was just something he did between missions. He never got attached. Or at least he never stayed with anyone for long."

Finn nodded. "Now that you mention it, when he suggested trying to sleep with Hux or get to know him or whatever on Naboo, no one really batted an eye that he'd just up and make a pass at someone almost at random. We all thought he was crazy for choosing Hux, given that there were other people who might be friendlier, but he was dead set on him from the beginning. Something about starting at the top with the guy who mattered most." Finn threw up his hands. "Everyone else was like, 'Whatever, Poe!'"

Rose chuckled. "Yeah. I'd heard he'd hop in bed with people as easy as playing cards. So for him to be happy with someone he can't do that with? Maybe that's what he was looking for all along."

Finn took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "They do seem really happy together."

She nodded. "That's what's important."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are Rose and Finn married? They should be.
> 
> Not sure about Kylo and Rey, as they'd be having a huge public event on Naboo as the opposite of Anakin and Padme's secret wedding. Such a thing will take a while to plan and host. And as they've been busy freeing slaves and making things right for the galaxy for the last 6-9 months, they probably haven't settled down to do it yet. Maybe seeing Hux and Poe tie the knot will make Kylo and Rey get a move on with their own planning.


	22. Roasted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe shows off his ring to his friends and Kylo finally tells him Fuseb's secret power.

Poe waited until Hux had been drawn into Kes and one of Kes' neighbors telling him the embarrassing story of how Poe nearly set fire to Luke Skywalker's magical Force tree when he was a kid. Then he slipped off to find Finn, who was standing with Rose, Mackel, Rey, Kaydel, Kylo, and a few others. Tritt, Phasma, Eddiva, and the First Order folks were in their own tight little knot well apart. Poe jerked his head towards Finn. "Hey. Do you know what this is?" He took off his ring and offered it.

"Yeah, it's your wedding ring." Finn took it because he was clearly supposed to.

"Yeah, but do you know what it means?" Poe was grinning. The others looked, too.

Finn looked at it. His brows pulled together slightly as he looked at the stripes on it. He turned it in his hand and looked at the inside of the band. He jumped and fairly stuffed it back in Poe's hands. "I'm not supposed to be holding that! You don't give that to people! You just show it to them!"

Poe laughed, accepting it back as Finn craned his neck to make sure Hux was occupied elsewhere, which he was.

"What is it?" Rose leaned in, so Poe handed it off to her. She examined it without seeing what the big deal was. "Why does it have Hux's name on it? Did it get switched?"

Finn shook his head. "You're not supposed to give that to people."

"It's fine." Poe brushed off his concern and asked Finn, "What does that mean to you?"

Finn pulled his head back. "You know, right?"

"Yeah, I know," Poe said. "He told me. But I want to hear it from you. I want to hear what the rank and file thinks that means."

"It means I'm supposed to- I mean, it means anything you say is an order from him. Assuming he was still part of the Order, which he's not, so I don't know what it means now."

"I don't think anyone else does, either," Poe admitted. He watched as Rose handed the ring off to Kylo, who handed it to Rey. He asked Kylo, "Did you know what that meant?"

Kylo shook his head. "I wasn't a formal part of the military. The Knights of Ren were separate."

"Yeah, okay," Poe said, a little disappointed. "So you never had anything like that? He said it was called a challenge token."

Kylo shook his head again.

"I wonder if Snoke did?" Poe said.

"He had-" Kylo stopped himself.

"He had what?"

Kylo looked around the room, then back at Poe. "Will you come with me?"

"Yeah. Sure." Poe collected his ring from Kaydel and slipped it back on. He followed Kylo to the side of the room closer to the First Order group.

"You recall Brumos Fuseb?"

"Of course. Big guy. Sirpan?"

Kylo nodded. "You've asked before what he did for Snoke. He was his vessel for possession."

Poe blinked several times, trying to imagine what that meant. "You mean … like … what does that mean?"

"Snoke would suppress Fuseb's consciousness and use his body as his own. He didn't do it often because it left his own body defenseless. But he found it occasionally useful."

"Oh." He thought about everything Kylo and Hux had said and not been able to bring themselves to say about Snoke. "Oh. Is he- Is Brumos … okay?"

Kylo shrugged. "He had no memory of what happened while possessed. It was as consensual as anything else. What Snoke did to people was not a secret in the Order. No one envied him for it. I found him to be a competent chief of staff. But Snoke wouldn't have used something like that token. He already had someone who could speak for him, in addition to his other powers and the holographic projectors." Kylo reached out a single finger to touch Poe's ring. "He didn't trust anyone enough to give them something like this, if it means what Finn said it does. Hux is trying to say something to you with this."

Poe nodded emphatically. "Oh yeah, he's saying something and I'm hearing it. Definitely. The Order was his life. His standing in it, everything he accomplished?" He touched the ring proudly and smiled. There were no words to describe how it made him feel – there was both a childish glee at getting something so special and a deep awe that Hux would share it. It was only a gesture, but such an important gesture. "Thank you for explaining the thing with Brumos. I've been wondering about that for half a year."

"It was not much of a secret. Many knew."

Poe snorted. "You and Hugs made it a big secret."

"Only to you." Kylo gave him an insufferable smile. Poe rolled his eyes.

They walked back to the others. Hux and Kes had joined them, where Kes was now telling the others about the uneti tree incident. Poe rolled his eyes. "I'm getting roasted here!"

"Not as bad as you roasted that tree!" Kes said. He turned to the rest. "It took nearly a year for that thing to recover. I was freaking out the whole time. Trust me, I did not want to be involved in killing one of the only two remaining Force trees in the whole galaxy! Can you imagine that – a thousand-year legacy ended accidentally on my watch because my kid got cocky? It just barely pulled through!"

Rey said, "No, that's the only one."

"What's that?" Kes asked.

"Kylo and I went to Ach-To. That's where the other tree was. It was gone – ashes. There's only the one now."

"The only one!" Kes looked over at Poe. "Did you hear that?"

"Yeah, yeah, I heard it." He touched the back of Hux's hand. Hux responded by slipping his hand into Poe's. Poe told his father, "I'm sure you have a lot of other exciting stories about me. We're going to go by the house for a while and get some air." He looked to Hux. "You good with that?"

Hux gave his hand a squeeze.


	23. Balance

Poe drew up the old speeder in front of the Dameron family home, slewing to a stop like he had when he was a teenager. Hux clung to him tightly. A plume of dirt kicked into the air beside them and Poe grinned. They weren't far from the community center where the ceremony and reception had been held (and the reception was still ongoing without them – they'd stepped out early), but the speeder had been quicker than walking. Behind him, Hux dismounted clumsily, unsteady on his feet.

"Are you okay?" Poe swung his leg over quickly, worried.

"Yes." Hux regained his equilibrium and eyed the speeder reproachfully. "Is that how they normally operate?"

"I suppose I shouldn't have driven like it was an x-wing with one engine on fire, huh? But they're fun little machines. You've never been on a speeder before?"

"No."

Poe laughed. "Well, uh, that one's inertial dampeners are way out of spec, but that just makes it more exciting. It's the one I had when I was a kid. Dad still had it in the shed. Said we could use it to hop around while we were here." He turned to the machine and shut it down properly. "So you can't drive this. Maybe we could borrow something different. What can you drive?"

"Um …" Hux shook his head.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Poe blinked at him. "Nothing? Uh, can you _fly_  anything?"

"I was shown how to engage the autopilot on a shuttle … fifteen years ago." Poe stared. Hux said defensively, "I've always had staff whose job it was to get me places. It was never part of my duties. I was a communications officer on Lothal!"

Poe laughed. "Hey, it's okay. I've just … that's funny. You'll be my first student, then. You okay with that?"

"Yes, of course. I suppose it's something I need to learn for myself now."

"Yeah. Speaking of which, my dad sat me down last night and brought up something really important." Poe scratched his forehead with his thumb. "He talked about when he and Mom bought this place. They were fresh out of the military and up to that point, had spent their whole adult lives on bases, flying around, fighting the good fight, all that stuff. Kind of like me and you. Except without the flying around in your case." Poe smiled.

"So," Poe went on, "what he talked about was the transition from military to civilian life. There were things he'd never had to deal with before that all a sudden, were real obligations. Like remembering to pay bills. Like going shopping. Like setting your own schedule. There's no chain of command, no duty roster, no mission. Other people might not give a flip about duty and they certainly aren't working together with you. That doesn't make them the enemy."

Poe pursed his lips. "My dad talked about how isolated they felt at times. It took a while to warm up to neighbors and stuff, especially when all their friends from the military ended up on different planets, doing their own thing. Like yours."

Hux was listening to him quietly.

"He suggests we stay here for a while – settle in and get our bearings. I remember you saying you were having trouble working out our plan and what we'd do. The ice cream thing was a direction at least. If you want to do something else, I'm game for that. I'm here for you, but I wanted you to know we're welcome here if you want to stay. My dad … he wants what's best for us. He wanted me to know it was hard for him and my mom."

Hux was silent for nearly a minute, then said, "I am amenable to this."

Poe smiled. "Okay. Well, there's one other thing I think you need to consider. And it's a big one." Hux raised his brows in question. "Let's walk around back."

"Lead the way."

They started. Poe looked up and gestured at the greenery that reached partly over the flat-topped, beige house. "It's big enough you can see part of it already. See that?"

"The trees?"

"Tree. Singular. That's the one."

Hux stopped. So did Poe, turning to face him. They could just barely see the edge of the trunk from where they stood. Hux said, "I thought Kes said this was planted about the time you were born."

"Yeah."

"They grow this quickly?"

"Normal trees don't. This one's not normal. And it's a lot bigger than it was when I joined the Alliance. I was looking at it the other day when we were flying in. I thought it was a bunch of different trees, too. We have a koyo grove over there," he pointed, "or at least we used to, but they don't get that tall. Plus their leaves are darker."

Hux moved forward, but only enough so he could see the entire trunk. "Is it intelligent?"

"I … uh, I don't know. When I was a kid, I would have said no, but I've seen intelligence come in a lot of different forms. It doesn't talk, if that's what you mean. At least, it never talked to me."

"Does it move?"

"No. It's just a tree."

"It's a  _Force-sensitive_ tree. I heard what your father said. Luke Skywalker thought it was special enough to rescue and then later, to take with him in seclusion. That means something."

"Yeah." Poe kicked idly at a clump of totchkin grass growing next to the house. "That's why I wanted you to see it before you made any decisions about sticking around here. I know how you feel about the Force. This isn't a thing you can leave on the  _Unification_  and never have to deal with again. It's going to be right here in the backyard for the rest of time."

Poe kicked the grass sheepishly again. "Also, um … It's, uh, I've got to take care of it."

"What do you mean by that?"

"It's, um, kind of a family legacy? My dad's taking care of it right now, but it was entrusted to my family by Luke Skywalker, so there's an obligation there …"

"You're saying I, who strongly dislikes the Force, married a man who has a pre-established oath to take care of a Force sensitive being?" Hux looked amused rather than angry.

Poe smiled and dipped his head guiltily. "Hugs, I am so sorry. I never thought to mention it. It's just a tree. We don't have to live here. I could hire a custodian when my dad isn't able to do it anymore. If you want to take anything … back? You know, unmarry me or something? I'd understand."

"Would you? I wouldn't." Hux snorted softly and began slowly walking toward the tree. "I will not be put off from you because of a plant," Hux said as he passed. Poe followed him. When he was almost to it, Hux raised his hand as though to touch the trunk, then paused to look back at Poe.

"It's always just been a tree," Poe said.

Hux took a final step and rested his hand on the smooth grey and white surface. Still touching it, he looked up into the canopy. It was late afternoon, but it was dim under the spreading branches. It felt comfortable and protected under the tree's broad arms.

"Do you feel it in your mind?" Hux asked after a long moment of silence.

"No." Poe looked at him with some alarm. "Do you?"

"I feel something." He drew his fingers up, pulling fingertips across the bark, then splayed his hand and moved it in a circular caress.

Poe gave Hux a curious look. "What do you feel?"

"Safe."

"Um … I've always felt that way here. That's what home feels like, right?"

"I wouldn't know." Hux let his hand fall. "But this is not my home." He shrugged. "At least I can say it feels nothing like Snoke or Ren. Nothing like the Sith artifacts that were left with me, or when I've boarded the  _Eclipse_  and walked the same halls as the emperor."

"Are you sensitive to the Force?"

"No." Hux looked at him sharply as though that were an insult. "According to my profile with the Order, I have no affinity at all. I've never felt anything unusual."

"You're feeling something now."

"Aside from this." Hux looked around at what he could see of the Dameron farm from here. There was a battered-looking picnic table nearby. Further afield were some run-down outbuildings with two tannish-grey, waist-high, furred quadrupeds grazing in front of the nearer one. There were other smaller animals moving in the grass, but he couldn't make them out.

Poe said, "And aside from when you went on the  _Eclipse_. Or when you handled objects attuned to the Force."

Hux turned to give Poe an annoyed look. "I know what you're implying. It's ridiculous. I've been tested.

Poe nodded. "Right. Yeah. You've been tested. Do you really think the people administering that had an interest in telling you the truth? Did your father put that program in place? You’ve said you always felt abnormal and like you didn’t fit in." Hux's eyes narrowed at him. Poe went on, "The moment Snoke got in control of the First Order, you said he called you in personally for an interview. You - some guy working on the instructional programs on the Downs with a side interest in mega weapons. Out of all the people in the Order, Snoke  _hand-picked_  you with no prior association and it just turned out, coincidentally, that you could tolerate being around the Force better than anyone else."

Hux turned to stare at the tree accusingly as though it had something to do with Poe confronting him with a conclusion Hux refused to acknowledge.

"You know," Poe said, "according to Rey, there are three skills that correlate really strongly with Force sensitivity. One is mechanical aptitude – like with droids, or designing things. You know how things go together, how they work fundamentally, and you can manipulate that. The second is piloting – spatial awareness, knowing what's going to happen before it happens, making unconscious adjustments in flight. The third is the most subtle and the hardest to detect, but it has the biggest impact. I had a really good example of it in Leia." Hux was glaring at him now, a pillar of intimidating presence that only confirmed every word coming out of Poe's mouth. "It's leadership – being able to influence people, read their intentions, and move an entire organization in sync towards a goal."

Hux snorted derisively. "That means you're as likely to be Force sensitive as I am, 'Best Pilot in the Resistance', surrounded by friendly droids who flock to you like hungry children."

"Yeah. And guess what? I am. According to Rey, whom I had to ask to check, because it's not like Kylo ever said anything even though he worked as closely with me as he ever did with you. I'm totally untrained and that's how I intend to stay. I've seen what getting deep into that has done to people. The only ones it seems to have worked out for are the ones who …" Poe trailed off, boggling at Hux. He remembered those passages in the Jedi texts Rey had read to him with such excitement.

"What?" Hux looked at the tree in case it had done or was doing something, then he looked back at Poe. "Don't think I believe you, but at least finish what you were saying, or else I'll suspect the tree of having taken my side in this and choked the words out of you."

"The ones who have found their partner on the other side."

"The other side of what? Sith and Jedi?"

"Something like that," Poe said, straightening. He felt oddly humbled, almost scared, like he was looking in the face of something so much bigger than himself. He looked up at the huge tree and ran a hand through his hair, tousling it. On some level, his dad was right - he'd fallen in love with the emperor. Or love had prevented another emperor from coming into being, just as Rey's love for Kylo had stopped the rise of a second Vader.

"Poe," Hux said sharply, drawing his attention back to him. "It's just a tree. I'm just a man. It belittles everything I've done in my life to claim it was the doing of the Force instead of me."

"No, that's-" Poe cut himself off from arguing. "Alright."

"Does any of this matter? Does it mean we can't be together – this 'other side' thing?"

"No! No, it doesn't." Poe moved in front of Hux. "I have … religious beliefs. We can talk about them some other time. What you've accomplished in your life,  _you've_  accomplished."

"Do I need to share those beliefs?"

"No!" Poe held his hands up in surrender. "I have sprung so much stuff on you lately, especially today. The tree and this other. I am so sorry for that. This Force thing is what you hate most and I'm-"

Hux put his hands on either side of Poe's face and pressed his lips over Poe's. They both held perfectly still other than breathing for several beats. Poe hadn't moved when they'd kissed at the end of the ceremony. Now he tried a single movement of his lips. Hux joined in, mimicking the motion back to him with a soft sigh. Then Hux parted from him, but kept his hands on Poe's face. He rubbed his thumbs over Poe's cheeks.

"I love you," Hux said softly. "I'm glad we're in a place that feels like home to you. I accept your father's kind offer to stay and be counseled on how to be model citizens. I accept your kind offer to teach me to operate vehicles. I would like to sit here, together, and leave that subject," Hux tilted his head briefly at the tree, "alone for the rest of today."

"No problem." Poe looked at Hux's hair. The adventure on the speeder had already blown his careful coiffure apart. "Can I mess with your hair?"

"Yes. Please."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is my intention that this is the last chapter. (But anyone who's followed me for very long knows I've said that before.)
> 
> I'm no fan of the 'everyone is Force sensitive!' theory, but it fits too well for this for me to overlook it. Star Wars has been all about rhyming and poetry in plotlines. If they're going to do reverse Anidala, then it might be nice to see a reverse emperor/power thing, too. I like to imagine that Hux briefly joked, "I am the Senate," while he embodied the consolidated governments. Then he handed off control like he was supposed to.


End file.
